Rule 1: Don't Worry

Taylor,

Thank you so much in advance for your help! I really appreciate it. Dave won't appreciate it quite as much but don't worry. That's rule number one. The rest are listed below. Again, thank you.

Rule 1: Don't worry---if Dad Dave gets into some trouble on your watch, don't sweat it, it happens.

Rule 2: Dave eats three times a day, the same meal every day. You should only ever need to deal with breakfast and lunch, but I'll leave dinner instructions, too. Breakfast: 7am - Crispy bacon and eggs over medium, handful of blueberries, plastic fork, orange juice or decaf coffee. Lunch: 12pm - Half a club sandwich (will already be made and left in the fridge each day), a mini bag of plain potato chips, and WATER (if you can convince him; if not, unsweet tea is fine). Dinner: 5pm - Vegetable soup and cornbread (will be left in fridge if you're ever here for dinner), unsweet tea. No dessert---he doesn't want any anyway.

Rule 3: Medication will be administered twice a day, once by you. Meds must be given as close to 7am as possible, before or after eating. Morning Dose (You): Zoloft, Amlodipine, Tylenol as deemed needed by you. Just so you know---Night Dose (Me): Simvastatin, occasional 2nd Zoloft. I give these at 7pm.

Rule 4: Clean out Rufus' litter box as needed and keep food and water bowls topped off. Rufus is low-maintenance and independent, and I will also be keeping his things in order, so this isn't too intensive.

Rule 5: Avoid loud noises - if you end up doing laundry or yard work, see something getting delivered or the garbage truck coming (Wednesdays, around 3pm), fear you will make any jarring noises, please either put Dave in the TV room with the volume on 30 or give him his music player and noise cancelling headphones (both found on his bedside table). Do not change the channel on the TV.

IF DAVE IS TRIGGERED BY A LOUD NOISE:

Sounds like distant gunshots or fireworks are nearly unavoidable out here, but the city sounds were worse, so what do you do. If Dave is triggered, he has not and should not get violent. If he does, call 911, then Jeff, then me (in that order). Find a safe place and close yourself in---delaying his care in this brief moment for your safety is okay and understandable. Don't worry, though---his typical reaction is confusion, regression, and general panic. Getting him safe and comfortable again is key. If he begins to have flashbacks, simply calm him and guide him back to the present (I'm sure I don't need to describe breathing and coping exercises to you). Do not feel bad if when this happens, it's all part of the deal, unfortunately.

Rule 5 6: Dave needs at least two hours of outside time a day. Most days it will be easy to get him outside, the only challenge is keeping up with/an eye on him. Some days the challenge will be to get him outside. I am fine with bribing or coaxing in order to get him some fresh air and sunshine. If weather is poor, sitting on the back screened-in porch is fine.

Rule 7: General tidying is much appreciated and laundry should be done as noticed is needed. Cleaning dishes after meals, gathering mail, light dusting---these kinds of things should be done with any free time.

Rule 8: Dave takes his nap from 10-11am every day---he will have no problem with doing this. During this time, if you aren't doing any housework, you may certainly watch TV, use your cell phone, read, etc. Please do not turn the TV above 20 during this time, and please use ear/headphones with only one ear covered for any device you may use. Most noises do not disturb him during sleep, but better to be safe.

Rule 9: Dadve is under no circumstances allowed in the garage. He knows this but may be less inclined to this rules some days. If need be, call Jeff or me to deal with this.

Rule 10: The camera system covers the front porch, back porch area, garage, kitchen, and driveway. I will give you a login for this when I see you next. Check it when he is too quick for you during outside time. He moves with surprising speed for a man with one leg.

Rule 11: Dave is fully independent for all bathroom matters at this point. I will let you know (and let me know as well) if there are any updates on this.

Rule 12: Once a week, Dave likes to go visit M his wife's grave. This is the only time you will have to (or should) leave the house with him. I will give you the address of the cemetery when I see you next. He also knows it and can give you directions.

Rule 13: While soon you won't be able to get him to stop talking, Dave may will be hesitant to converse at first. He is not great with change but cannot resist visiting and reminiscing for long. Do not take his initial standoffishness personally.

Rule 14: Do. Not. Worry. I mean it. I've been there, and while I am not a professionally like you, I know worry only makes the job harder. I trust you and your capabilities, and we will all pick up and move on if/when something goes wrong. We always do.

Thanks again. See you Monday at 2pm.

Lisa