Red like Roses

CW: Strong Language, Sexual Assault, Implications of Suicide, Death, Blood

Red like roses, red like the crisp and crunchy rust on an iron bar left to disuse. Red like blood. I have seen your door for well over four months now. What is it that caused you to scream? Why did you run? Don’t you love me? Your hair was a golden fire that had burned itself into my soul. Was it love that made you scream and run away? Or could it had been the shock of seeing me inside your humble abode for the first time? That cannot be the case, I had been in here forever now, surely you would have noticed! Oh, how wonderful that time was, smelling your perfume as you rested above me. Feeling the silk that composed your hair.

Oh, how you extricated yourself from your room as I made my way from underneath your bed. If you had not tripped over the bag that you left in the hallway, you would have made it out. But here you are, red like roses. Oh, how the red consumed all your wonderous frame, the small hourglass figure that lay slumped in the chair. How it made me giddy, you were the only one for me Susanah. Why won’t you talk to me Susanah? Do you know what I know Susanah? Do you want to know? Of course, you do! It is our one and only date, let us get to know each other.

Do you know that your job was close to firing you? That your manager only wanted you for that small petite frame? He always looked at those large plump breasts of yours. Not like me, I want you because you are a wonderful person Susanah. Far more wonderful than the rest of them. I know your secrets; they are our secrets now. How you loathed your father, and how you hid that pig from him too. I have to say I feared him at first, but I solved that problem. Did you ever wonder why disappeared? Did you ever wonder why disappeared? Did you care to ask? Or did you just think he was only using you for Daddy’s money? Regardless of what you thought, he did make nice bacon. Do you want some?

Why do you take those pills every night? You can sleep fine without them you know. I am sure they will kill you if you keep this addiction. They are not even the good pills Susanah, you are only taking Tylenol. Handfuls upon handfuls of the stuff I saw as you shoved them down your throat. You washed it down with one of those fruity dinks you are always raving about to your friends. If anything, Susannah, I have done you a favor. You are my pills Susanah, and I fear that if you kept on living, I will never had rid myself of this addiction, or is it affliction? Although I owe you a thanks’ for helping me rid myself of this disease.

Susanah, why don’t you speak? You loved to speak, you were always on the phone with someone, jabbering away at that day’s useless garbage you seen propagandized on the news. What made you stop? You still have your mouth, I wanted to see if you would speak to me like the other. Speak for fuck’s sake! THANK ME! I am your knight in shining armor, and this is how you repay me?! Fuck you Susanah. I should never had slit your throat; I should have never had given you the gift that was my presence in your house.

I am sorry for the outburst Susanah, it was not very gentlemanly of me. You should not have screamed by the way. It was quite rude, and someone could have heard! Do not worry though, I took care of them too. They were quite old so I doubt they would not have woken up at this time of night, but I did not want to take the chance. Did you know that the average time for police officers to average is about ten minutes? Not that they would come for you Susanah. You are not worth the trouble. If they did come, they would have gouged your father for his money, for saving his little girl.

Be grateful to me that I put in the trouble to care for you. I changed your sheets, washed your clothes, and even bought you food! Of course, I had to get rid of that annoying house cleaner first. That tiny old woman, oh how you made her a slave to you! How much were you paying her? It matters not now. She was not as beautiful as you. Did you ever notice when she stopped showing up? You did not do you? You pretentious whore. You have everything in the world and yet you cannot even take a second to look at those who work so hard for you.

I know why you ran now. You loved me so much you could not contain it. You just had to run, because how could one stand there and stare at my beauty. Which part did you like more Susanah? Was it my wireframe glasses that curled themselves around my head? Or was it my beard? I grew that myself, I would have shaved it all off, but I wanted it to be a treat. I added some of the hair from your hairbrush to it as well, do you like it? Or wait, no Susanah you pervert. Were you looking at my part? Did you like it? How big was it? I got it up just for you, it never seems to get up at any other time so you should be grateful.

A part of me will miss the fun we had that night. Which is why I am writing in this journal, I found it on your nightstand. I want to remember what it is that we had together. Although I cannot keep this wonderous memento, I must give the police officers something, or else they will just be too lost in their own corporate slog.

Oh, but how your screams will keep me up at night, giddy and waiting. I brought you a gift. It is a shame you never got to see it. It is a rose; it is just as red as you are now. I placed it on your chest, right between your breasts, I am sure some artist would find it beautiful. But now you looked perfect, too perfect no artist could ever capture it. Red like roses, just like the blood running down your neck, just like the lipstick you applied every morning before walking out the door. Roses are red Susanah, and so are you.