Raging Bull

I am not the most adventurous person in the world, but sometimes I like to dare to do new and slightly frightening things. So it was that I went to the Pamplona bull run in Spain.

Looking back, I don’t know what I was thinking, but at the time I was excited, expectant and ready for an adventure.

Back then I had a boyfriend, so I was not travelling alone.

There is little to be said about the journey there, as we went by aeroplane. However, once we arrived there was no shortage of things to see and do.

Pamplona was beautiful, it was a million miles away from the grey concrete blocks that passed as homes where I lived. Wine was easy to come by and food was plentiful and fairly inexpensive.

I was quickly intoxicated with young love and Sangria. Everything took on a magical hue and everyone speaking Spanish around me felt like the most romantic dream.

So, when my eyes finally flickered open on the day of the bull run, I wasn’t even scared. I was flutteringly in love with my boyfriend and Spain all at the same time. Boy was I in for a hell of a ride…

By the time we reached the Calle Santo Domingo the crowds had already formed. Pulsing humanity stretched in all directions, sweaty, mainly Spanish and to be frank, mainly men.

Even surrounded by so much seething testosterone I still wasn’t nervous. I had the man I loved right beside me and this was an adventure after all. With all this Spanish beauty everything seemed like it would be ok.

The throng was bouncing with unreleased energy as the hands of the San Cernin church edged closer and closer to eight. I was looking at my watch mostly as we were packed in so tight. Then bang, bang the two rockets shocked me to sense and the whole throng around me started to run.

I couldn’t see or hear the bulls, I was just swept along by people, jostling, whooping and running full pelt. It was then that my heart really started to pound. Leon was getting lost ahead of me in the crowd and I could just begin to hear the clack of hooves on stone, unnervingly close.

Through some miracle the clacking of hooves bore down on me fast, yet the bull sailed right past. I swear I crossed myself despite a lifetime of atheism, mentally that is, my whole physicality was focussed on running. As I veered off to the right, further from the bulls path I heard Leon cry out.

My blood ran cold.

I’d never heard a cry like it in my life it sounded like twisted agony.

I ran behind the back of the bull to be confronted by Leon lying on the stones, blood all over his side, his face contorted and red with exertion.

“Oh God.” I breathed. “Oh God…”

“Maria.” He gurgled through bloody spit.

“We need to get you to hospital.” I wept. Then despite the bull racing off in the distance, despite the throng, I started to scream. “Help us! Help us!”

In that moment I knew my longing for adventure had brought this upon me. I had injured the man I loved most in the world seeking a new experience, possibly scarred him for life, possibly worse… I dare not even think.

My screams only subsided when the medic arrived to calm me down. By that point I too was covered with blood having made an ill-advised attempt to stem the blood flow with my clothes. Also, by this time he was very dopey and part of me was clinging to the fact he was still conscious.

I had known how many injuries the running of the bull indirectly and directly caused, but I had been so certain that we would be ok.

In the hospital waiting room I cried uncontrollably, as I waited for him to come out of surgery. My daydream had turned to a nightmare.

“It serves you right.” Said a young woman across from me in the waiting area.

“What?!” I gasped.

“What they do to those bulls is disgusting.” She hissed.

I gaped, tears and blood presumably hiding the sheer horror on my face.

“He might die!” I cried.

“The bull will certainly die.” She said, coldly.

Up till this point, in all the planning of the trip, in all the excitement I had never thought of the animal, I swear. I had not really confronted what the festival meant for the bull.

The feelings of guilt about Leon mixed with a wider guilt about my place in the universe. Maybe there really was a God, they just hated me. I was evil, I didn’t care about my boyfriend and I didn’t care about the bull and I was destined to see them both die…

My tears reached a new peak.

“Senorita…”

“Yes.” My head snapped up in a flash.

The doctor was standing in front of me.

“He will see you now.” He smiled.

“Oh God.” I blurted. “Is he ok?”

“Come and see for yourself.” He said softly. Guiding me slowly to one of the hospital doors.

“Hello you.” Said Leon.

“Hello you.” I whispered.

“That bull got me thinking.” Said Leon.

“Yes.” I said, my heart in my mouth.

“We only get one life.”

“I’m becoming a vegetarian.” I blurted.

“You love meat?!” He exclaimed surprised.

“But I never want to see that much blood again.” I cried and fell on top of him and kissed all over his very confused face.

“I was thinking more along the lines of changing career.” He laughed.

“Oh.” I blushed.

“But sure, why not give up meat as well…”