Radiotelegraphy

August 5th, 2035 - Morning

The oatmeal was probably cold by now. Her steps around the house grew louder as she approached the bedroom door. I couldn’t be bothered today. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was sitting on the side of the bed, holding the locket as usual when she threw the door open to make her announcement: “He’s here.”

How did I forget the new assistant was coming today? He was waiting at the dining table when I first saw him. Young city man Grayson Montague (young as if he didn’t look a similar age to myself); broad build, long limbs, and straight black hair. He stood up when he spotted me, almost knocking the chair over as he abruptly rose. Outstretched hand, he gave me a smile that showed a small dimple in the corner of his mouth. Ignore it.

Ena of course, did her usual lurking around the kitchen, pretending not to listen to our conversation. I gave him the run down on what we’d be doing, where he’d be staying and all that. He seemed a bit too eager, but at least he was interested.

It’s around 2 months he’s supposed to be here for. I’ve been turning the guest house outside (away from Ena) into a work area for the past couple of weeks and I’d finally have someone to look after it. Dining, kitchen, bath, bed and the large workspace (which accounts for at least three quarters of the area.) At least I’d gotten to research from the house and not the office. I really don’t care to visit the city anymore. Even the inner town is too close to society (especially with The Raiders roaming around.) It was easier to pretend there was nothing else but the farm.

I showed him around and got him settled in the guest house before I started work for the day. He was a bit early, so I decided to let him take the day to get settled (maybe I also couldn’t be bothered with small talk today either.) The real work would start tomorrow.

August 5th, 2035 – Evening

Ena and I were eating dinner when it happened. It seemed strange talking at the table because after a year and half of trying to force ourselves to go near each other, we’d slowly abandoned any communication. “Your new assistant seems nice” she stated, looking up towards me. If there’s one (positive) thing I could say about my wife, it would be that she is a master in the kitchen. She’d have to be, spending all her time in that greenhouse of hers (partially because she was a chemist before we got married.) “Hope he’s as eager to work as the company makes it seem” I replied dryly.

There was a pause for a moment, “looks’ very strong” Ena said, “got some muscle on him.”

My breath caught in my throat a little, but I remained as still as I could. My heart felt like it was trying to lurch out of my chest, but I wasn’t going to bite.

“Indeed.”

I stared at my soup until she finished hers. Until she left for the kitchen. Until I heard click of the door behind her close.

August 5th, 2035 – Night

I don’t like looking at it that often; partially because it makes me feel guilty, why I survived and he didn’t (partially because the locket is so difficult to open.) But I needed this today. I deserved at least this. After fussing with the latch for a couple of minutes, I pried the locket open with my teeth.

There we were. Michael and I; hugging in the midst of some part of the inner city.

I immediately became aware at the lightning pace my heart was going and snapped the locket shut. I swallowed hard and tried to slow my breathing down. Not tonight.

Today:

- Find something for Grayson to do tomorrow

- Take sleeping pills

- (Maybe) Valium

August 6th, 2035 – Morning

The oatmeal was cold. As usual. I think I might just start making my own in the morning. Ena had already made her journey into town for today – hopefully I’ll be able to avoid her until dinner. From my usual seat at the dining table, I could see into the backyard at the guest house. The paint was somehow already chipping off. It couldn’t have already -

Grayson and I have a lot to do today. Need to not worry about the paint or whatever Ena’s doing.

August 6th, 2035 – Afternoon

Five bodies found on the side of the a local road.

Three women, two men. Unidentified – probably never will be.

26 people (known to have been themselves or associates of queer people) have disappeared within town this month. A town with a population of 400.

I went into the guest house around 8:00 to begin work with Grayson. I somewhat expected him to be waiting on the doorstep of the house (giving how excited he seemed yesterday), but he wasn’t. I was about half an early, so I assumed I’d have to wake him up anyway. I thought he was watching tv as I heard a strange, muffled voice when I approached, letting myself in towards the small living area. I know I’ve gotten paler in the past year, but surely not as ghostly as he made it seem with the way he threw his hands across the room.

He was standing on the couch with his hands raised towards the ceiling. As soon as he heard the door open, he swung around so quickly that whatever object he was holding had flung across the room. He looked as though he was going to burst down in tears when he saw me.

My mind frenzied in the seconds that he stared at me from on top of the armchair. Who had the company sent? An agent? ...Raiders? He stood there silently as I made my way across the room towards the fallen object. A small radio, gargling electronically. 1990’s maybe? He must have been on the couch trying to find a signal. I turned to face him to see him climbing back to the ground.

“Please” he begged.

I couldn’t run the risk of him finding out about me. Not with who I’d been. Not with the locket. Not with this diary.

I walked towards the window on the left and spun the small dial on the side, directing it to the nearest station – 28.6 – A woman’s voice emerged. She spoke in a very clear and articulate manner – it was…a news reporter?

“ – discovered on the side of Burmingham Road North-West towards the M83. Reports say police were already in the area and have recovered the bodies. News about the -”

The broadcast abruptly stopped. Looking up from the radio I saw Grayson, eyes wide and pressed against the wall near the front door. Maybe he saw the look on my face, but his eyes softened – however not yet calm enough to move, “it only plays every 30 seconds.”

Less easy to trace. Even now I can still feel my throat tighten as it did. It was news – the real news. What was actually happening around this town.

Over the next half hour, every 30 seconds I switched the radio on and off to listen. By the time it ended, Grayson and I were sitting next to each other on the floor. I feel stupid having thought he was one of them. But this time I’ll forgive myself – I couldn’t take the chance.

82 queer and associated deaths in the past 3 months (in this town alone.) Ena’s the only one of us that goes into town, and even then, I don’t think that she would have any idea of this. After a while, Grayson started talking. He told me what was happening in the city – things I don’t feel comfortable repeating. We continued to speak vaguely about rumors he’d heard about the rest of the world, but most of the day was spent in silence. Whatever work needed to be done could wait until tomorrow.

I wasn’t the only one left. We weren’t the only ones left.

Today:

- Check storage for a radio

- Take sleeping pills

August 7th 2035 - Afternoon

After yesterday, I felt a lot calmer with Grayson. Maybe a bit too calm than I ought to be. Either way, I invited him to dinner with myself and Ena. He agreed very eagerly. At least he seemed to be comfortable as well.

Ena agreed reluctantly; however, I knew that she’d like to have someone other than me to talk to anyway.

August 7th 2035 - Evening

It went well. I think.

Grayson was lovely. He told stories about going fishing with his dad, school, all types of stuff. I feel confident in saying it was the first time I’d ever laughed at that dining table. He continued to tell stories about his younger life – excluding any points that seemed to touch on the world before this one. I was lucky enough to be sitting on the side of him where I could see his dimple. That alone made me smile. Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this down but,

he’s really pretty.

I think Ena had a good time; I think I even saw her smile. Her usual remained but at least her glare tonight was more on Grayson. I could tell she didn’t care for him that much, but I do. I hope she allows him to come to dinner again.

Either way, Grayson seemed to have a good time, as when I walked him out he asked me to come to the guest house in the morning. “Maybe we could, you know sit on the floor?”

It took me a bit before I understood what he meant by that. The radio. I agreed and we’re meeting at 7:30. Anyway if I want to make that, I should get to sleep. Ena even readied the bed for me – she must be in a good mood. I can feel my heart racing thinking about it – and I’m more aware of the locket around my neck than ever.

Today:

- Plan out work for tomorrow

- Take sleeping pills (Ena put them on the nightstand)

August 8th, 2035 – Morning

I woke up at 10:47, more than three hours late. Ena was in the living room, busying herself with chores. I tried not to seem like I was in a rush as to not reveal anything to Ena, but I swiftly skipped breakfast and made my way towards Grayson’s house.

I felt like skipping. I could barely contain the smile as I made my way through the property towards the guest house. I didn’t notice that the entrance door was slightly open. I didn’t notice something wasn’t right when I called out and there was no answer. I only noticed the blood on the door when I was pushing it open.

My stomach dropped. The small living area was torn about; table overturned, smashed dishes and the small remains of a salad littered the floor. Sputters of blood were on the walls. Whatever happened it seemed quick. In the front door and out. I swallowed hard attempting to quell any tears or noises that were threatening my body. All that was in place was the small radio resting on the kitchen counter. Raiders.

I felt faint as I walked out the door and back into the yard towards the house. It felt like I was on auto pilot. It still does. I sat at the dining table and stared through the window, through the backyard and at the guest house. It’s small wooden roof and hastily plopped on windows. All I could think of was the heart shaped locket resting on my chest.

Ena strolled over to me and placed a bowl on the table in front of me, “eat your breakfast.”

The oatmeal was hot today.