Painting of Memories

A middle aged man sat back away from the easel to look upon the painting before him, illuminated by a small lamp affixed to the top, the final few strokes drying. He adjusted his glasses, ruffling his grey flecked black hair.

He looked beyond the painting, to the other side of the dimly lit corridor, where there was a glass wall displaying the vista of the aquarium beyond.

The aquarium teemed with sea creatures representing much of what was found in the oceans. Brightly coloured fish, big and small, mixed with the subdued coloured denizens such as turtles, rays and even sharks, but all of which contrasted to the underwater topography.

A memory surfaced, interrupting the man’s contemplation.

“What do you see in there, Nicholas?” A beautiful woman, standing next to the glass wall, her features set aglow by the aquarium’s illumination, indicated into the vista of underwater life.

Nicholas, the man’s younger self, beamed as he replied haphazardly. “Animals going about their lives?”

“True enough, but I see a mirror to how our minds work.”

“How do you figure?”

“Well if we take each thing we see in there as a representation of a thought or memory, the coral would be our base knowledge, around which the fleeting thoughts that are like small fish dart around, while the bigger slower ones are the thoughts that preoccupy our faculties and focus…. Sorry I’m rambling.” She stopped and smiled shyly.

Nicholas returned the smile and watched as her gaze directed back to aquarium.

That had been on one of the first dates with the love of his life. Her name was Emily

Nicholas stopped and looked around. It was quiet in the aquarium.

It had been many years ago when he, young and in the middle of his arts degree, had picked the aquarium as a subject for a painting. He had approached the owner of the aquarium, an older Scottish gentleman by the name of James McTannish, for permission to spend time there to paint. Mr McTannish was quite understandingly supportive of someone chasing their dream whose price was a copy of a favourite painting.

As with all things in fate's hands, it was during one of those days that he had encountered Emily, who had started as a tour guide there.

Nicholas looked up at the voices and bustle of steps approaching. He had learnt to account for the foot traffic at this particular spot that he had grown enamoured with for the lighting and the view of this part of the display.

However, it was a voice that piqued his curiosity, for it had a slight foreign lilt to it, French perhaps.

He soon identified it belonged to a woman acting as the tour guide, a most striking woman whom he couldn't stop looking at until he pointedly concentrated as best he could at his work. Even then he listened to her enthusiastically talk to the group about the sea creatures on display.

Indeed, he felt a twinge of disappointment as the group moved on and her voice faded in the distance, a twinge that didn't go away until he refocused on his work.

He had been so enrapt with his painting that he only had a few seconds to register someone approaching and stopping near him. He started smelling roses and looked up into the eyes of the beautiful tour guide.

She smiled as she asked. "May I sit down?"

Stunned for a moment, he replied. "Of course."

"So you are the painter I've been told about." She said as she sat down beside him, looking over his latest work. She smiled as she turned to him, proffering her hand. "I am Emily."

He had taken the hand gingerly. "My name is Nicholas."

And that was where it began, love quickly blossoming between an art student and, as it turned out, a marine biologist intern.

The aquarium, this particular spot next to one of the main displays, had become their “ground zero”, that saw their first meeting, part of their first date and many of their important moments in their lives, a few of which had been captured in paintings.

Despite him going on to be an architect and interior designer, Emily, as girlfriend, fiancee and, eventually, wife, always encouraged his painting. They always returned to that spot at the aquarium to put paint on canvas, with Emily a willing model in the background.

Sitting there alone, Nicholas recalled unwitting another memory.

He had been painting for some time, trying to look intent despite his nerves. Emily sat perched on the bench seat next to the glass wall of the aquarium and was silhouetted by the light of the aquarium beyond.

He touched the small box in one of his jacket pockets when he was sure she wouldn't see. Yep it was indeed there. It was the first thing he saved up for as an architect.

It was quiet in that part of the aquarium so it was as good a time as any.

He pushed the easel in front of him away, a small squeak resulted in Emily turning around.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked.

Nicholas shook his head. "No. Actually everything is alright."

Emily looked a little confused as he approached until the moment he knelt down in front of her and opened the small box he pulled out of his pocket.

Nicholas smiled as he remembered the radiance of her smile when she realised that he was proposing to her. She requested that I paint her there with the ring on her finger. Some of the aquarium employees who knew us got wind of what happened and said their congratulations, including Mr McTannish.

It became a ritual of sorts between us. Any important life event was captured in paint at this spot. Engagement, wedding garb (after the event), promotions, anniversary, pregnancy.

All paintings full of life and joy.

Nicholas looked at the painting before him. It was a perfect simulacra of the display beyond the glass wall. It was a painting that was as good as any as before, but it looked empty.

For she wasn't there. He felt foolish for being here.

Footsteps approaching took him from his reverie.

"I was told you were here, laddie." Nicholas turned and saw the kind face of Mr McTannish, now older and greyer haired than last he seen him. "It is nearly closing time, you know."

Nicholas nodded. "Had to come. Last day of the aquarium and all."

"Aye, I ken that. Moving on and all that." Mr McTannish paused to look at the painting.

"What brings you here?" Asked Nicholas.

"Same as you but also to help organise where the wee fish are headed." He stepped towards the aquarium. He paused before adding. "I know its a bit late, laddie but I'm sorry about Em."

Nicholas looked up as he flinched, tears threatening his eyes.

"I was here, you know. The last time you were here. Your fifth anniversary....." Started Mr McTannish.

"..... with Emily heavily pregnant." Finished Nicholas. He quickly looked down. "Were you ever married, Jim?"

"No, laddie. Never did take. A life busy chasing and making dreams makes for a foolish and lonely one. The universe is like that you know, unfair at times." Nicholas couldn't see Mr McTannish's face.

Tears started to flow down Nicholas' face. He buried his face in his hands. It had been five years since the universe, in its infinite wisdom, had made what should have been a family of three to only one. Emily and the child didn't make it through the labour despite the medical staff's best efforts.

Nicholas stood up when he felt Mr McTannish's hand on his shoulder and he sobbed into his shoulder.

"It's all unfair." Sobbed Nicholas.

"Aye laddie. It is." Replied Mr McTannish. "But just like this place, you'll have to find a way to move on."

Nicholas pulled away as he looked at the main display of the aquarium, looking at the marine life swimming about.

Mr McTannish turned, following his gaze. "Tomorrow this place, the fish won't be here. All will be a thought or mere memory, living fleetingly or at the centre of attention elsewhere."

"Sounds like something Emily would say." Nicholas wiped his tears away with a handkerchief.

Mr McTannish smiled. "Your wife was a smart wee one."

Nicholas' reply was interrupted by an announcement that the aquarium was now closing. He looked at the speaker as the echo of the voice faded.

"Will you be alright, laddie?" Asked Mr McTannish.

"I don't know. It felt like a sign earlier this morning when my painting gear fell out of the cupboard when I was about to come here." Answered Nicholas as he packed up his gear. He took the painting off the easel and placed it on the bench seat.

Mr McTannish came up to Nicholas and produced a business card. "Give me a call when you are ready to talk. I could use an architect's point of view of what they are going to be doing here."

Nicholas looked surprised but took the card and nodded.

Mr McTannish went to leave but stopped at the painting. "You always had a good eye, laddie. Can I keep this?"

Nicholas looked at the painting, then Mr McTannish and then the main display behind him. A calmness and acceptance came over him. It felt right it was time to move on. He motioned for Mr McTannish to take the painting.

"Thank you, laddie. I'll hear from you soon, aye?" asked Mr McTannish, the painting he carried dwarfed by his large frame and hands.

Nicholas nodded. Mr McTannish walked away as Nicholas finished packing into his rucksack.

He heard the final call for closing time, as he gazed into the aquarium, noting the small ones flitting around the coral while the bigger creatures cruised by slowly.

Remembrances of all the previous times flooded him, the presence and voice of Emily overlaid in his mind.

"Life is meant to be lived. All of the fishes are doing that, while on display every day, sometimes they fail, other times they succeed. It's no different than we are on this planet." Said Emily.

"You are a wise woman." replied Nicholas, arms around his wife's growing waist line, as they both looked into the main display in the aquarium.

"Don't you forget it, mister."

Nicholas wiped a tear from his eye as he turned, pulling the rucksack over his shoulder, as he walked away. He had all the paintings and more to remember this place and her by.