Overthink no more

"I think not."

"I think."

"Does it help?"

"Sometimes."

"I've given up on thought, you know."

"You can't do that entirely. We all think."

"Yes, but I limit it to the essentials: how do I get my next meal? Can I afford rent? When do I sleep?"

"You have enough money. You're not poor."

"Not financially. My spirit's impoverished."

"You're far from alone in that."

"I agree. I am just consistent while most aren't. I've reduced my thoughts to those concerning survival."

"How's that working out for you?"

"I survive."

"Enviable."

"What do you think about?"

"About my work. About how I'm going to rewrite the script for that movie. About whether I can act myself or that's a dumb idea. About my upcoming date with that cute girl I met at the bar the other night. About that Sweden trip I've been planning. I mean, there's more I think about but I'm not quite sure what you're getting at with your question."

"Why does any of it matter?"

"Why any of it matters? I mean... that's a strange question. It matters cause I care."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"But I don't care about anything."

"Well you care enough about your own surival to at least think about it."

"Yes, barely."

"When did you stop caring?"

"When I saw through the emptiness of all those pursuits. Why do anything? We'll all die. No one will remember us in a hundred years. And in the very unlikely case that someone does, it would probably be because we created such immense suffering. The world remembers Stalins and Hitlers, mainly. Anyways, I used to think a lot and do at least a little. But none of it gets us anywhere. I've built castles of philosophical knowledge, I've read every great work of philosophy there is. I've peeked into physics, psychology and mathematics. I thought there had to be some holy grail, some answer. There's none."

"You lack faith. Religion used to dominate people's lives around here. Christianity, mainly. Yes, it was dogmatic and all, unscientific for sure. But it gave reassurance. Faith. Trust. Some grand plan, a whole schema that extends beyond our own lives. We lack that and you embody it like no one else. Thought is not the problem. It's your conviction that only rational thought is to be trusted. You don't believe in anything, trust no one. Everything is a problem with a solution for you. That's no way to live. Your complete obsession with thought has turned into its fundamental rejection. It's time to go beyond thought."

"But how do I go beyond thought? For so long, this has been all I've known. My whole world is made up of thoughts, ideas and concepts. I thought that WAS the world. The world of the smart people, the ones who understand stuff. Who make sense of things."

"Right. The intellectual elite, the superior technocracy."

"I mean, I wouldn't have called it, but in a sense, yes."

"Well, you don't go beyond thought by thinking. What do you eat?"

"Pasta with pesto."

"Can I assume that is every day?"

"You can."

"Ok well, start by making a sauce for your pasta."

"Oh yes, how could I not see that? Making a pasta sauce will surely solve my existential misery!"

"You can be as sarcastic as you want, as long as you do it. Start there. Do you do any sports, physical activity of any kind?"

"No. I don't see the point. I mean I walk from home to the bus, a couple of hundred meters. Can't avoid that."

"Ok. Try walking the same way backwards."

"You're a strange bird."

"Thanks. Do you listen to music?"

"Rarely. I used to go to concerts. Classical. Mozart, Bach, Haydn. That kind of music."

"Ok. Try putting on some hip-hop on and move to it. What people call 'dancing'. Just move in any way that feels good. You can also try techno or rock. Anything energetic."

"I'm not entirely sure if you're serious anymore. How would any of this help? None of it matters. It's all just distraction."

"If you think about it that way, yes. Give me the benefit of the doubt and suspend your critical thinking for a bit. Just try it, ok?"

"I mean, I don't have much to lose. Alright. I'll make some pasta sauce tonight. And maybe I'll dance. How bizarre that sounds..."