Once Upon A Starry Night

I wasn't trying to fall for anyone when I decided to go on a ten day tour with a group of young adults to Costa Rica, neither did I anticipate meeting the most unforgettable person of my life - but I couldn't avoid it. I was only there for the adventure, the adrenaline and my once in a lifetime chance to soak in the tropical forests, the mountains, the beach and the starry nights. But when I my eyes met yours for the first time, they penetrated me deeper than any arrows. I've never felt so vulnerable and yet so drawn to anyone before. We hung out in groups for the most part, but there were sneaky glances and excuses to try and hang out in the same groups when the group had to split. How was I suppose to know those ten days would have such a lasting impact on me? Because sometimes, I still find myself looking for those familiar eyes in large crowds...

I remember talking you to for the first time on our tour to the farm on the mountains. Well, it wasn't exactly the first time we spoke to each other. You had replied to my posts in the group-chat prior to that, I just didn't bother to look at your profile picture hence didn't realize it was you. I had asked the group if anyone had a DSLR camera, and you were the only one who did. As the entire group rushed out to take pictures after we got off the bus at the peak of the mountain, we all started snapping on our phones to get the best pictures, and there you were with the DSLR camera. I was dying to borrow it from you, but made sure to get introduced before I could ask.

I tried to remember your name from the group chat we were added to, but couldn't quite remember it. For some reason I thought it was Lewis, so I just asked blunty, "Aren't you Lewis?", to which your eyes lit up.

"No, but you can call me Lewis", you said with a slight smile from the corner of your mouth. How could I have not fallen in love with you right then and there? But of course, that would be stupid; so I tried not to but I made sure to learn your first name. We didn't talk a lot but as the tour director showed us around, and took us to the farms and through the strawberry fields, you kept catching my attention. You weren't like anyone I ever knew. That time some of us girls picked some flowers and were tucking it behind our ears, you decided to take one and tuck it behind your ear too. I couldn't help but smile as you walked around proudly displaying the flower tucked behind your ear.

That night we had the welcome party, and even though I had wandered around in the farm in my baggiest clothes I made sure to put on my best clothes and some make-up. I hung out with some of the girls from the party and had a pina colada while chatting. I tried not to get too caught up on you, but every now and then I caught you awkwardly catching my eyes from far. I went to bed on time like a good girl, while my roommates went out to grab some extra drinks - I wondered if you caught onto them before drifting off to sleep.

The days passed by and I tried to act cool and not seem interested, but that night it was oh-so-hard not to lean in when your face hovered inches away from my face after you had a drink or two at the after party. I never liked the smell of alcohol, but it was intoxicating when I smelled it on you. How can I forget the playful glint in your eyes, the way you stared at the depth of my soul. I could close my eyes, and collapse in your arms right then and there, but instead I smiled and looked away. You didn't try again that night and I went home wishing you had - barely able to see the road for my vision was so blurred by fantasies of you.

I could write an entire novel about all the little moments in those ten days, and maybe I will someday. For now, I'll have to head to bed. I just wondered, if you too, still remember that night when we came back from the beach and spent the night playing silly games in the pool under the stars? Do you remember the way you swam upto me several times, and once or twice we locked eyes with me almost as if you were going to kiss me? I still think about that sometimes; still wish I had grabbed your face and tasted your lips - made you feel all the things I was feeling inside. But some fantasies... remain fantasies.