On Second Thought

Roger was rarely given a second thought. For the most part, Roger liked it that way. In his mid-fifties, medium height, medium build, Roger was very much an average man. Clean-shaven, brown-eyed, and hair trimmed close, nothing about Roger really stood out. Sure, he’d developed a little paunch over the years, but all in all, Roger was quite unremarkable.

As a younger man, Roger did most of the things he was expected to do like go to college, find a good job, find a life partner. Life continued in a normal way without a second thought.

Roger and his wife Hannah lived a quiet life in a city apartment. They never had children. They had each other and a few close friends, so they never gave it a second thought.

Roger carried on working at his good job for several more years, until one day he was called into the boss’ office. He was told that the company must downsize, and they had let Roger go. Roger packed up his desk and left the building for the last time. Neither his employers nor his co-workers gave him a second thought.

Roger struggled to find another job, so he bought a small car and began working for a rideshare company. Every day, he turned on his cell phone, got in his car and waited for the ping that told him he had a customer to pick up. He was friendly and polite with his fares, sometimes listening to their personal troubles without judgement, and when they left his vehicle, he never gave them a second thought.

Different people took rides from Roger every day, and when they arrived safely at their destination, they never gave Roger a second thought.

Roger went home to Hannah every evening, they would share a meal, clean the dishes, and sit down to watch game shows and movies. When they were done for the night, they never gave the shows or the world outside a second thought.

Hannah developed a bad cold that turned into a chronic cough. She told Roger it was just flu, but the more she coughed, the shorter breath became. She never gave it a second thought.

Roger buried his wife a few months later in a quiet ceremony. Friends and family attended the service, they came back to Roger’s flat with food and heartfelt condolences. After a few weeks, some stopped giving Roger a second thought.

A few friends tried to help Roger through his grief. They invited him to their homes, took him to restaurants and introduced Roger to new people. Roger would go home to his empty apartment, never giving any of them a second thought.

Roger retreated further and further into his own world. All he could think about was his sweet Hannah. To his friends, Roger eventually became a second thought.

On his way home from driving each day, Roger went to his local grocery store, bought a pre-cooked dinner for one, some beer or wine, and occasionally a bottle of his favourite whisky. He politely paid for his goods, and after exiting the store, the employees didn’t give Roger a second thought.

Roger went home to his empty apartment every evening, ate his meal and drank his spirits, never giving anything else a second thought.

Late one afternoon, Roger picked up a fare on Main Street. A young woman got into the back of his car with a mobile phone to her ear. As Roger started to drive, the young woman’s voice got louder and louder as she screamed into her phone. She wasn’t giving Roger a second thought.

It was fairly evident that this woman was embroiled in a heated argument with someone on the other end of the phone. Roger tried his best not to give her a second thought.

Suddenly, the heated telephone battle came to a head, and the young woman began banging her fist against the front passenger seat. The distraction became so intense and punishing to Roger’s ear, he didn’t notice when he entered the intersection on a red light. In a split second, there was no time for a second thought.

Roger stood beside a police car, his face bloodied and in a daze. He watched impassively as his passenger’s covered body was hoisted into an ambulance. Bystanders watched as the sirens roared and took the dead woman away. Then the watchers went about their business, and they never gave the dead woman or Roger a second thought.

Roger was placed in handcuffs and taken away by police. He was charged with several infractions, including vehicular homicide. The police removed Roger’s handcuffs and placed him in a cell. The barred door closed tightly, leaving Roger alone. Until he appeared in court the next day, the police didn’t give Roger a second thought.

A state-appointed attorney pleaded Roger’s case to the court. In short order, Roger was convicted of causing the death of the young woman. As he was led away to serve his sentence, the lawyer exited the courtroom without giving Roger a second thought.

Roger sits in his cell by himself. Roger doesn’t interact much with other prisoners. He eats his prison dinner for one in the mess and then returns to his private cell. He sits and thinks about Hannah. He has no beer. He has no whisky. Roger only has his memories.

Roger is full of second thoughts.