Old Wiring

“Did you lock the door?”

“I thought you did.”

“I did last time.”

“You always say that.”

“Because you always forget.”

“Come on. Sit with me.”

“Move over.”

“You’re cold.”

“You’re a furnace.”

“You love it.”

“I love you when you don’t steal the blanket.”

“I never steal it. You just migrate.”aye

“Migrate? Like a bird?”

“Like something that doesn’t want to be alone.”

“I'm already alone when you’re on your phone.”

“I’m not on my phone.”

“You’re checking something.”

“I was checking the weather.”

“It’s clear.”

“It might snow.”

“It’s June.”

“Anything is possible.”

“Well, you’re impossible.”

“You like impossible.”

“I guess so. I like you.”

“Say it again.”

“You.”

“No, the other thing.”

“You know I do.”

“I like hearing it.”

“You’re just greedy.”

“Only with you. Come here.”

“Don’t smother me.”

“You love being smothered.”

“I love it when I choose it.”

“Since when did you start keeping track?”

“Since things started slipping.”

“Nothing’s slipping.”

“Nothing? Then why is the porch light flickering again.”

“It’s old wiring.”

“You said you fixed it.”

“I tightened it.”

“That’s not fixing.”

“It worked for a while.”

“Anything can work for a while.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“Soft and sharp.”

“You used to say that was my favorite setting.”

“I used to.”

“Did something happen?”

“No.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye without the words?”

“You always say that when you don’t want to look.”

“Look at what? Now you're just being dramatic.”

“At me.”

“I am looking.”

“You’re waiting.”

“For you to relax.”

“I was relaxed.”

“You’re not now.”

“Because you’re doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“Where you inventory the room like you’re already gone.”

“I’m still here.”

“You’re always technically here.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s accurate.”

“You promised me we’d stop doing this.”

“I promised we’d stop lying to ourselves.”

“There it is.”

“What?”

“That tone. Like you’re about to drop something heavy and start something when it's really nothing.”

“I’m tired.”

“So am I. Let's go to bed.”

“Not physically. Besides I don’t think I can tonight anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because every time I close my eyes I see where you weren’t.”

“I was right here.”

“No.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“I’m remembering.”

“You always twist memories when you’re upset.”

“I wasn’t upset when I found it.”

“Found what?”

“The quiet.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“It does when it’s practiced and it happens more often.”

“You’re talking in riddles.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Just say it.”

“You don't want me to.”

“You always say that too. Just say what you think I did.”

“I think you built a second life in the shadows.”

“That’s insane. You're scaring me.”

“I think you kept me busy so you didn’t have to lie very hard.”

“You offered to help.”

“You made sure there was always something that needed doing.”

“That’s what couples do.”

“That’s what caretakers do.”

“You liked taking care of things.”

“I liked believing it mattered.”

“It did.”

“To who?”

“To us.”

“There was no ‘us’ where she was.”

“Who?”

“You don’t get to pretend you don’t know anymore.”

“I don't want to talk about this. You’re crossing a line. ”

“You drew it.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn't hold a gun to her head. I didn't trap anyone.”

“You didn’t have to. You just made leaving feel impossible.”

“That’s a disgusting thing to say.”

“She was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of being seen.”

“Stop.”

“Of losing you.”

“Stop talking.”

“Of having nowhere else to go.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know where she slept.”

“That proves nothing.”

“I know what crawled out of the walls.”

“You’re trying to make me a villain.”

“You were careful. That’s why it worked.”

“I was protecting everyone.”

“You were managing everyone and protecting yourself. There’s a difference.”

“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”

“You shrank it until no one could breathe.”

“I never asked you to take on all of this.”

“You let me.”

“That was your choice.”

“You made it the only safe one.”

“You’re not thinking clearly.”

“I’ve never seen things more clearly.”

“That’s not true. I can’t explain anything. I’m sorry.”

“You always apologize when you’re cornered.”

“I mean it.”

“You mean you want for me to stop.”

“Why won’t you let this go?”

“Because you don’t get to bury people and call it peace.”

“You’re acting like I’m dangerous.”

“You were strategic, and I'm not sure which is worse.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Because love isn’t permission.”

“Why so you always ruin everything?”

“You did that quietly and spectacularly.”

“You don’t mean this.”

“The lights already went down.”

“You’re going to regret it.”

“I regret staying silent.”

“So that’s it? You’re just done?”

“I’m finished negotiating reality.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever grow up.”

“I know.”

“Then why does it hurt like this?”

“Because it’s going to be a tender ache that never really goes away.”

“So you’re leaving?"

“I left when I stopped covering for you.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Every show must end.”

“You’ll miss me. This is dumb. You don’t mean it.”