Night Bird

It had always been mom’s dream to be a party planner and host big barn parties and weddings so she convinced dad to buy this land and build her a barn. It was a great big barn with air conditioning, a loft and a proper dance floor complete with party lights.

I loved growing up here helping mom with her parties and spending my free time hanging out in the barn with my friends. I always enjoyed spending time in the barn even by myself. I convinced mom to install a porch swing in the loft for me and make it my own personal space. I could spend hours there sitting on the swing reading books.

Last summer there was a car accident and mom didn’t make it. Dad closed off the barn and shut down the party planning business. I was devastated because not only did I lose my mom but I also lost my place of comfort in the barn. I begged dad to onboard the barn and let me in the loft but for months he refused.

Last week I had a fight with my best friend and I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to be somewhere comforting. I took a hammer and smashed one of the boards on the barn and snuck in. I went to my spot in the loft and cried for hours alone in the dark. As I realized how late it had become I decided I should get inside the house, but before leaving I thought I heard a strange noise. I looked around and didn’t see anything so I closed up the barn and went inside.

Over the next few weeks I would sneak into the barn several times a week just to be alone and feel close to mom. Since I spent so much time in the barn with mom over the years it felt like our special place especially the loft since she helped me decorate it. On several occasions I thought I heard some noise but I could never find anything until today. I was feeling a little nostalgic today and missing my mom a lot so I headed to the barn.

Sitting in the loft cuddled up to one of the pillows that smelled like mom I heard the same noise I had been hearing for weeks. I looked around and there it was perched in the corner of my loft watching me. It’s heart shaped face and pale white feathers made it look haunting but something was different about this particular barn owl. This one did not have the dark eyes like the barn owls I had read about or seen before, this one had blue eyes which was impossible wasn’t it? I could swear this owl was watching me and something about its presence made me feel a sense of calm I hadn’t had since before mom passed.

I would spend the next few years going to the barn and talking to the owl and I swear it was listening to me. The owl and I would spend hours sitting together in my loft, dad would always say I was crazy because I thought the owl was my mom reincarnated. Talking to the owl got me through many hard times in my teen years. Even after I left for college I would come home to visit and the owl would always show up.

It has been 10 years now since I first found this owl in my loft and now dad is sick. The doctors say he doesn’t have much longer before he too will pass on. Last night when I went to the loft to visit with my owl dad was there. I heard him talking to the owl but he was calling her Laurie, my mom’s name.

They say as you get close to the end you can see spirits and now I know that my dad saw my mom’s spirit in the owl. All those years my mom was really with me after all. I don’t know what will happen when dad leaves, maybe mom will stay or perhaps dad will join her in the barn. No matter what happens I know I will get through it because I have had my mom all along. Wise old owls may not be owls at all, they may all be parents coming back to keep watch over their young.