Murder in my eyes.

“I didn’t mean to kill her” pleading to the person sitting in front of me. “It just kind of happened, it started out slowly and then all at once. Before I knew it she was dead. I did it for Chole, you know? It was always for her. Love makes you do things that you never thought you would do. You can’t be mad at me, you understand right?” Like a scorned puppy for using the carpet for a toilet, eyes wide and filled with tears.

“No I don’t understand, I would never do what you did, I have morals that I stand by. No matter how much I love someone I would never do that. Look I’m sorry that this is how it ended up, but I can’t be friends with someone who is able to just kill someone that easily.” Standing up and starting to walk away. Feeling betrayed by his own friend. How could she do that? He thinks to himself. Morals are for a reason and everyone needs them.

“It wasn’t easy you know, no matter the circumstance murder is murder. I know that. It hurts like hell, everyday. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger staring back at me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I have dreams you know. I see short black hair, piercings, black clothes, studded bracelets, necklaces, the like. Then I see her start to slowly die and disappear. I don’t know what to do anymore. I see those soft,sad eyes staring at me, begging to be alive again like they once were, full of life. Then I wake up and see myself in the mirror, every morning. Someone I don’t know stares back at me. I mean I know it’s me, but I...I don’t know it’s hard to explain.” trembling, and fidgeting with the hem of her pale pink dress. Her long blonde hair hides her nervous face from being seen.

“To me it seems you are having second thoughts that it was worth it for Chloe. I mean to me it wasn’t. Yeah you would kill for her, but what would she do for you? Has she done anything for you? Other than making you crazy? I don’t think it was worth it at all. It ruined you, the fun loving care free person you were, she’s gone. Will we ever see her again? I mean you were my best friend, Now I can’t even look at you. I don’t know you anymore, and frankly, I don’t want to. I don’t want to get to know this new person you’ve become since then.I don’t like her. I don’t like what your life has become ever since your girlfriend came into it. I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” leaving the room without a sound from both people in it.

She stands up to go to the bathroom, doing so she looks in the mirror. Staring at herself, every crook and crevice. Examining her hair, her makeup, even her clothes. She grabs a makeup wipe and cleans off her thick layer of a mask., revealing piercing holes on her eyebrow and lips. Grabbing scissors and cutting off all her long hair. Then shaving the sides of her head. Putting her piercings back in where they belong. Her black roots peeking from her hair. Taking off her clothes and tattoos hidden amongst carefully planned outfits. Changing back into her old familiar clothing. All black and spiked accessories to bring it all together. “I feel alive again. I’m sorry. I will never kill myself again. I know who I am now, and I will never kill parts of me for anyone especially if I lose people over it that mean a lot to me.