Moments of Horror

26. 5 days a week, I go for a jog in the morning and spend at least half an hour enjoying nature in the middle of my jog. Today nature enjoyed me- or specifically my heart.

27. Everyone has a story to tell, sometimes the story is full of joy and happiness and others it's full of despair and loss. Mine is similar to the latter- except in mine, I am the lost.

28. Most of my free time was spent alone, mostly by choice. Now all of my free time is spent trying to get anyone who's living to notice that I am here- hidden right in front of them, in pain sight.

29. I used to listen to music to escape the world around me, to relax and help me process my emotions. Now I am haunted by the music of my forgotten life.

30. As a child, in fantasy shows and films, witches were usually ugly, green-faced, children eating and hating monstrous women- the bad guys. Now I understand why children are so afraid of my power and magic, but I am not the one making them all disappear, I'm trying to save them, to bring them back- pleading with the Grim Reaper for their poor innocent souls.

31. Some people dream of having their own space, to have the house to themselves every once in a while- I dream of having someone know I existed, having someone to share my space.

32. Even the most powerful force on planet Earth can be overcome- Love is nothing compared to death, especially with no one to miss you or even knew you were gone. I have never had love, all I have is death.

33. Comparing yourself to others could encourage you to better yourself or to try new things, but you have to be careful. If you change yourself too much there will be nothing left of you to be compared to.

34. Some nights are longer than others, some even go on for a lifetime- especially when you die during the night. Tonight it is my turn to enter the eternal night.

35. "We need to talk when you get home. I'll be waiting for you" That was the last message my mum sent me, just a couple days before she died, I still have it after all these years. I pushed my key into the lock, twisted it and pulled the door open, as I walked in I saw her. My mum, she was back from the dead and she didn't look happy.

36. As the clock ticked towards midnight, the feeling of uneasiness enveloped me. As the hour and minute hands joined at 12 it appeared in the doorway. The demon smiled, stepped forward and ripped my heart out of my chest.

37. Each and every night before bed I followed my bedtime routine. Put on my pyjamas, brushed and braided my hair and took my sleeping tablets. The only thing missing- my toothbrush wasn't where I left it. I live alone. And no one has access to my home.

38. A small town just a few miles from the Erniv River, has an urban legend about a ghost girl that rises from the river bank, at the stroke of midday on the first of May each year. This May I rose from the ground, into the light, after 6 years in darkness.

39. "Ignorance is bliss" is a great sentiment for a good few things until the Ignorance leads to murder- my daughter died because "Ignorance is bliss".

40. Every single choice we make in life- for others or ourselves- comes with risks. The risk of rejection, loss, or even the risk of it all going to plan- it's always a risk but one thing has no risk. My death has no risk for anyone, especially for me.

41. "I'm still here, please listen to me, I'm still here" I pleaded but they didn't hear me- they shut off everything anyway. The tone won't stop now, it's stuck in my soul.

42. Night after night, hour by hour, the exhaustion fills and overtakes her, yet she cannot sleep. If she falls asleep then he will get her and if he gets her, she'll be gone forever.

43. Yesterday was the worst day of my whole life- and I died three years ago! Yesterday, I met the man who killed me.

44. Music creates worlds in which you can escape to, places away from the real world, where anything is possible- even happiness. But now I'm stuck in this world and it's so cold.

45. I've always been surrounded by other people; grown up with siblings, cousins and friends all around me. But ever since my 13th birthday, no ones here anymore. I don't think they want to remember me anymore- I think it might be too hard for them now. I mean I was 1 when I died.

46. Sometimes when something quite horrible is created, what is created isn't the worst part of it. The one behind it, the mind that could create such horror is the true horror, the true monster.

47. All wounds heal, at one point or another- you may not quite be the same again, but you are healed. If only I could say the same for me; this wound will never be healed, no matter how much I want it or how hard I work on it. I will always be a disappointment.

48. I've never worked so hard on anything else in my whole life. If only it was enough to make any bit of difference.

49. Some days I wake up and have the energy to get out of bed and get on with my day, but today I don't think I even woke up. And yet, I'm still doing this crap. This must be my Hell.

50. Supernatural, Paranormal, Spirit World, however you look at it, it's so much better and so much less scary than the real world. At least you know you can destroy those monsters, deamons and evil, but when it's all in your head, you can't ever get rid of those deamons.