Modern-Day Miracle

Billy and the BB Gun (note: * indicates a fictional name.)

Jeremiah (Jerry) King* is everybody's go-to Man.

And, the main word is..... Man.

Jeremiah is not white, or black. He is a self-proclaimed "cousin of a cousin" and he has a whole "salt and pepper" family tree to prove it.

If you buy him a PBR, Jerry will tell you all about it. Jerry is a plumber, a

mechanic, a skilled carpenter and house framer, an old school electrician, (with his own tools) and a smiling, shining star of a person. Jerry is a natural-born genius when it comes to fixing absolutely anything.

His motto is: "If I can't fix it, it ain't broke".

He is a notably tall, wiry man. Jerry stands about six foot four, only 230 pounds, all muscle. Strong and tough in a good way. Just don't make

him mad.

Jerry has a smile and sparkling eyes that capture you at first sight. He has a good heart. His beard is, as Jerry Garcia might say, a touch of gray, and extremely well-kept.

He often speaks with pauses as if he is channeling Abe Lincoln.

Jerry can fix a long line of anything!

From a Ford truck engine to

the circuit board on a home AC relay, to a timing belt on a Honda Civic, and then a bad farm septic tank leaky stinky (buried) PVC plumbing,

Followed by a well that ran dry and the pump burned up, and somebody's rotted roof falling in (while it's raining.)

That's just the short list of an easy day for Jerry.

If there is a person anywhere, in need, Jeremiah (Jerry) King will already have the tools in

the truck. He will kiss his wife, tap the kids on the forehead, skip dinner, jump in the truck, and make things right.

For the price of a handshake. He is a real-life hometown hero.

(But there is no town because everybody lives way, way out in the country.)

Whataguy. -------------------------------

Jerry drives a Ford truck and rides a Harley on the weekends, with many friends

who ride big bikes. -------------------------------

Jerry sings in the church choir with a notable booming baritone voice.

At times, as invited,

Jerry King steps forward to the podium and adds his own "message" to the sermon.

Everybody loves to hear his insights.

Jerry is married to Megan and they have four kids, ranging in age from 7 to 17. Jerry is

tough on his oldest son. In a right way.

One cold rainy day in January, Jerry he said he felt terrible, and could not go to work. Couldn't even get out of the bed.

Two days later, Mr. Jerry King was diagnosed: Pancreatic Cancer.

-----------------

After the initial shock, both Church and community pulled together and "pooled"

together for the biggest fundraiser ever.

Imagine a small army of Rednecks with great hearts. In the cafeteria - at the church.

In the words of many benefit auctioneers, this was a great effort at a heartfelt ABC auction.

ABC auction means:

People clear out their Attics, Basements and Closets, and

truck it to the site. (Heavy on the Christmas decorations, LOL)

Before the event, the tension in the air is so thick, you can cut it with a butter knife.

About the Event: I'm working with another great auctioneer, named Matt.*

He is a talented auctioneer. He works with a non-profit that mentors at-risk kids.

Matt and I get along like peanut butter and jelly.

We sometimes switch between calling bids and catching bids, during the sale. It's sort of like jugglers throwing the pins to each other. The crowd loves it.

At one point, five lovely ladies brought from the kitchen big baskets of hot apple with cinnamon turnovers, individually wrapped and streaming the most alluring smell in the world.

Wujabid, wujagive wujago!! Now now, wujabid, now

wujagive, wujago hey!

We sold the hot apple cinnamon turnovers in Dutch style, so that the winning buyer can get as many as they want at the highest selling price.

Until they are all sold.

And the hot apple cinnamon turnovers went faster than the wonderful ladies could hand them out.

In the truly painful realistic dichotomy of life, it's

unfortunate but true:

Many times, the exact same people who donate things to the auction, don't have the bucks to buy things that other people have donated to the auction!

The lunchroom / auditorium is packed. It's the middle of January. All the windows are fogged up.

We sold a total of 54 items / lots. We really did not get the numbers we wanted. Best sale was a 12-foot bass boat

for less than $200. (Outboard motor included.)

Jerry's wife (Megan) was tearful.

Matt and I were ready to wrap things up.

Then a father walked up to me with a seven-year-old boy hugging his BB gun.

The father looked at me straight in the eye for exactly two seconds, didn't say a word, then dropped to one

knee and stared face-to-face at the kid.

"Now, son, you tell him, you tell him what you said to me." "Daddy, I, You tell 'em."

And the little boy turned and ran. He disappeared into the crowd.

I pulled my microphone off the clip on the stand and handed it to the father.

He looked like a Deputy Sheriff in blue jeans and a plaid shirt. (Because, that's

what he is, and that's what he's wearing.)

"Hi, I'm Jeff Dylan*. You already know me. That's my boy Billy."

He cleared his throat, and took off his John Deere baseball cap.

"Truth is, Billy told me that he wants to help Jerry, and he loves Jerry and he's always called Jerry Uncle Jerry."

Pin drop silence. (The deputy

takes a deep breath.)

"My boy told me last night he wants to put in (the auction) the very most prize thing he has, and that's his BB gun right here.........."

"And I told him that when they sell it, he can't have it n'more. And he said, he said, ya'll, that's OK.

But I tell you, Billy looooooves his BB gun, and I think it's a great thing that he wants to you, know, help...here, take it."

Jeff handed the microphone back to me, and he handed the BB gun to Matt.

At exactly the same time, Matt and I both made the Hundred bux signal to each other. Agreed, and we're not going to settle for less than $100, and we both laughed at each other at the same time.

This is a used BB gun.

I said: "I got it." Matt said: "I got it."

And in the world of auctioneering, first one in, wins.

Sooo, I kicked the auction into gear.

"Now on the BB gun!

It's a beautiful Daisy BB gun, donated by Billy Dylan. He's back there next to the Cheerwine vending machine, hugging his Uncle Jerry. This is a great Daisy BB gun, (deep Charley breath).

An-you-can-have-it-if-you- want-it-but-you-gotta-jump-on- it-now-25-wujabid-hey-bid-25- now-fiddy, now fiddy-hey-75- wujago-75-now-yeah-a hunner-wujabid-a hunner- wujagive-a-hunner-thank-you- now go go.........

And Matt picked up the chant like a champion. He has more of a Country-Western style. "Now-a-hunner-an-a quarter, hunner-an-a-quarter, hunner- an-a-haff? Now-Now-Hey- Hunner an-a-haff? Yeah!

Now-one-seddy-five-- seddy- five-ana-two-hunner? Two hunner! Ana-two-and-a- quarter-now, here we go, now-fiddy now-fiddy......"

The BB gun sold for a whopping $275.

(To everybody's surprise, the pleading "Sell It Again" lecture that I did at the beginning of the event made a difference.)

The buyer (a nice lady, and a favorite teacher at the local High School) took about half a

minute to stand up on her chair.

She yelled in a powerful tone, at the top of her lungs:

Sell it again!!!!

And the roar from the crowd was so loud, I thought the roof of the church was going to come off.

Matt and I sold Billy's BB gun again, this time for $275 to a big mean motorcycle man named Trouble.

He lookes like a cousin of Sasquach with a haircut from a dull chain saw.

When Trouble stood up and smiled with his huge arms outstretched, the church cafeteria went pin-drop silent for about three looooong seconds.

He grunted and pointed straight at me with a huge hand like a real tough man (on a good mission).

"Sell it again!!"

And the place went absolutely wild. All of the Bikers, all of the volunteer firefighters, all of the church choir, and the ladies serving up the chili dogs are ALL doing high fives and hugging.

The teenagers outside came in to see what the noise was all about!

They caught the aura (wave, onda) and these young men and young ladies fired up the

crowd even more.

We sold that same rusty BB gun four more times.

Jerry and his wife Megan hugged each other and jumped up and down with tears on their cheeks.

The last buyer (a firefighter) grabbed the BB gun from me, pushed though the crowd and gave the BB gun to little Billy, who screamed with joy.

In seconds, they put Billy on

the shoulders of Trouble.

The little boy held the BB gun in both hands, arms stretched straight upwards over his head as he rode on the giant shoulders of Trouble, who let out a huge laugh.

The roar of the crowd sounded like thunder.

Billy Dylan was then passed from shoulder to shoulder.

Seven years old, and now ten feet tall.

Billy rode on the shoulders of Bikers, Firefighters, Farmers, the farmer that donated the chili, a lady who runs a fitness center, and some really awesome men and ladies in the Church choir.

The cafeteria got so hot, after two laps around the place, the Choir people decided to lower the child to the ground.

Only to open the double doors, and take this joyful Billy on-the-shoulders parade straight outside. (In the middle

of Winter)!

Jerry laughed with his booming one-of-a-kind laugh. Whataguy.

If you look up into the sky tonight, there is a new star way up there.

Jeremiah King.

Shining brightly.

Copyright 2021 C. Karnes Illustration by Beth Obenshain