Man Made Macho

It’s 2074 and humans were now being genetically manipulated.

I’m Fred, Fredd and Freddy. I’m a boxer with three heads and four arms.

I’ve been told I can’t lose, and so far I haven’t.

My head was Fred specifically, and I controlled the front head and two upper arms.

Fredd controlled the lower left arm and Freddy controlled the lower right.

It was fight night at The Sassy Fox. I was facing Rex, an opponent with spider fangs and wolf eyes.

I’ve seen worse. I knew I could beat him!

I went in the ring confident. I would throw two punches at a time. I’d get in plenty of impact before he could throw a punch and try to bite me.

The bell dinged. I won rounds one and two easily.

By round three Rex could barely stand. I threw one final punch to knock him out.

Before Rex went down, he managed to fall forward and bite me on my neck. I grabbed my neck and let out a pained yelp, but by the time the ref came to check on me I felt better.

Rex was passed out on the ground.

The ref held up my hand and declared me the winner.

I was proud of myself, even though I knew I’d win.

I walked to my car and started to feel dizzy, and not in a fun drunk way. I felt sick.

By the time I was at my car, I was throwing up.

Rex must have had actual spider venom in his teeth. I was poisoned.

Fredd and Freddy threw up, too.

I ran to the bathroom and kept throwing up along the way. I stayed in the stall until I felt better.

Just in case I was still poisoned I decided I’d drive myself to the hospital.

I went back to my car. The engine wouldn’t start.

I called an ambulance. I’d call to have my car towed later. I needed to get checked for poison.

The ambulance arrived. I got in the back. The EMT drew some blood and put it into a device.

“Oh damn,” the EMT said. “It’s poison, we better get you to the hospital.”

The EMT pounded on the ambulance and said, “to the hospital.”

I’ve been to the hospital before. Being a professional fighter, I’ve broken my share of bones.

I knew it was only a few minutes away, so when we had been driving for over twenty, I asked which hospital we were going to.

“That’s nothing you need to concern yourself with,” the EMT said.

“Your answer is concerning,” I said.

“Is it?” the EMT asked, grabbed a hypodermic needle and quickly injected me with something,

I passed out. When I woke up, I was stuck in a web.

Rex walked up to me.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Trapped. My brother, the EMT, brought you here. As you know, we’re both genetically engineered spiders. We’re going to eat you now,” Rex said.

“Bastard, nnnoooo,” I screamed.