Lucid

I froze to death before the excessive bleeding from my leg wound could kill me. Well, it was probably more like a tie. It all took less than five minutes from start to finish. Losing consciousness is an… interesting experience. It’s uncomfortable and stressful, as though your fingers are losing their grip on the edge of a cliff and when your fight is over you are sent tumbling uncontrollably into the abyss of your mind’s safest refuge, darkness. It feels unnatural, as you fight to keep your awareness here, now, in the waking present. It feels like I imagine dying might feel. But then again, for me it did mean death, and die I did. I froze to death, and it’s the only reason that I’m alive today.

Something unique occurred that day as I slipped into the waiting depths of my final minutes alive. As I lay there on the frozen pond wet, cold, bleeding and unconscious, an entire world was revealing itself to me. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First there was the fight. Or slaughter would be more accurate. It was brutal. My companion and friend of many years, a husky named Boo, was killed within the first few seconds. His death would ultimately mean my survival. The bear was wholly unexpected this time of year. Something must have brought it out of hibernation early and it was not happy to be awake, or to find us in it’s path. But as it shook my dear old friend back and forth, his now lifeless form providing me with precious seconds that would mean my survival, I did exactly what they tell you not to do. I ran. I ran like a bat out of hell. I remember thinking that Boo must have bought me almost ten seconds of distraction before our aggressor realized that the other intruder was getting away. I dropped my bag, and went tearing through the frozen forest as fast as I could. Twigs lashing my face, and ripping my fleece jacket. It was not long before I could hear the large beast crashing after me, steadily gaining ground as it smashed through the trees, splintering many of them to their own deaths as it pursued.

I was barely breathing for the terror that gripped my chest. My heart pounded in my ears and my vision was a tunnel. No peripheral distractions to pull me off course to my death. Human nature got the better of me however and I chanced a glance over my shoulder. Thats when the first death blow occurred. With my gaze averted for that brief moment I ran straight into the point of a broken tree branch that had fallen to the forest floor. Its splintered tip stayed right where it was as I drove my left thigh onto it with the full force of my frantic sprint. I was impaled and the scream that escaped me was the primal cry of a trapped animal. I knew in that instant that it would likely mean my death one way or another. I was stuck, literally, harpooned in place like a butterfly in a bug collectors case, a long pin holding me in the fatal path of the still charging bear. Staying where I was would mean my death, and it would not be a good death. Removing the branch- which had to have been almost an inch thick where it protruded from my leg in two places- would almost certainly mean that I would bleed to death before I could get help. The only smart thing to do would be to cut or break the branch off, leaving it in my leg and continuing to run as best I would. But I had dropped my bag with my camp knife in it and I knew that if I tried to break the branch the way it was positioned I would likely black out before I was free and that would mean death. All of that aside, I just didn’t have time. I reached down with both hands and gripped the branch and without pausing to prepare my mind for what was coming, I gave one long, hard pull with as much strength as I could muster and tore the bloody stake from the muscle of my thigh, spraying the white, frozen landscape at my feet with steaming blood as it pulled free. I screamed and vomited as I started running again, my vision pulsing with black dots every time I forced weight onto the torn muscle of my leg. I could just make out the edge of the forest and the shore of the frozen pond beyond its branches, perhaps thirty yards ahead of me. I wasn’t going to make it. I knew this was the end.

I could hear the animals guttural noises and heavy breathing as it closed the distance between us now. I didn’t look back again. Even the slightest alteration in my pace now would have meant my certain death. I felt something sharp tear at the back of my good leg as I breached the last trees at the border of the forest and crashed down onto the rocky beach and frozen shoreline. More blood splattered onto the ice as the pressure from the meager foot high drop onto the frozen surface forced it from my leg like a soft drink opened after being shaken. I ran as hard as I could on the slick surface for a few paces but it was sunny out and despite the cold, the ice was covered with a thin layer of water and after five or so clumsy, flailing steps, I lost my balance and hit the ice hard on my chest, knocking the wind from my lungs and breaking several ribs. My momentum sent me spinning further out onto the frozen pond.

Over my gasps for air I remember hearing the cracking of ice, like the cables of a bridge snapping and torquing beneath me. I could feel it reverberating in my chest as I lay spinning to my death, breathless on the open ice.

As I spun and slid to a stop my field of view came around and I realized that the cracking sounds were that of the bear crashing through the thinning ice a few feet from the shore where it had landed, its weight and momentum too much for the frozen surface to hold. It was fighting it’s way back out of the frozen pond, to the shore.

Turning my attention to my battered body, and momentarily ignoring the terror that awaited me on land but a handful of yards away, I could see that I had left a red smear across the ice. From where I fell to where I stopped sliding looked like a scene from a horror movie, and a pool of my blood was forming around me. I hastily removed my belt and managed to get it buckled around my upper leg before my fingers failed me. Shock, the cold, the blood loss and the general trauma of the last three minutes were finally collecting their toll. The black dots before my eyes were expanding to lakes of darkness and the last thing I remember seeing was the bear turn and walk back into the forest as I blacked out, face down in a pool of my own blood on the frozen pond.

…

The previous record for cardiac arrest survival was 7 hours. I doubled it. It was twelve hours before my body was discovered on the ice at five the next morning by a group of hunters. And by the time I was in a hospital and ready for defibrillation and revival, it had been another two. For me, it went much faster than that, but a lot happened as well.

…

I was standing in a desert when I became conscious. There was no pain. There was no sound. There was a magnificent view. I stood on the precipice of a massive valley. At the other end of the valley was a low, rolling range of mountains and beyond that, jutting majestically into an impossible sky was a city. It’s spires and buildings twinkled in the bright light of a binary star system. The heat was oppressive. The sky overhead was indigo fading to black near the horizon and from where I stood I could see the twin stars and a rainbow of nebulae filling the space between them. I stood and gaped at it for a moment, stunned by the beauty. I realized for the first time that my leg was no longer hurting. I remembered my last moments of consciousness on the frozen pond and bent over to examine my thigh only to find it fully intact. I had on clean, crisp trousers and boots that I had never seen before. I was confused, but intrigued. I felt out of place, but safe.

When I stood up there was a man standing before me. I was not afraid. We stood silent for a long moment, a few meters apart. He was roughly my height, in good shape but not overly built. He had on a long white caftan that hung open over khaki pants and a linen shirt. He wore sandals and had a knife of some sort tucked into his belt. Around his neck hung a leather thong with a small black tube on it.

Suddenly without his lips or mouth moving, I heard him speak, his voice ringing clearly in my ears. It was the first sound I had heard since I awoke here.  As he spoke, the world emerged from its filter of silence and came to life around me, the desert insects clicking and birds chirp chirping.  I could hear the gentle pass of the breeze and sense the vibration of the valley floor around me, alive now with movement and sound.

“Greetings, shadow” he said, “these are the first steps in a marathon of learning before you.  Breathe.  Be still and observe.”

I stood still, I breathed, I listened.

“I am Lehj-Nahk… I see you are not afraid and you have no reason to be. I have come to guide you.”

Guide me where, I thought.

“Not where, I am not that type of guide. I will guide you, finding your destination will be your responsibility. I have travelled from the Great City, you have travelled from the Old System, none of this matters. All of your questions will be answered,” said the man named Lehj-Nahk.

His voice rang clear in my ears, or in my mind perhaps, but his dialect was unique. He spoke perfect English but there was a strange newness there, as if he was speaking it for the first time.

What does matter? I thought.

“Only this, for now” the man called Lehj Nahk replied, touching the tube that hung around his neck. “You must return home, as must I.  We will meet here again soon, and then we will talk.  I came only to give you the key.”  He lifted the thong from around his neck and stepped closer to me, raising it up to the sky and speaking softly, “Rehj nuhar bi omni, ba tek haana.” Then looking into my eyes, he added “May it be so.” A gentle smile softened his face. He lowered the thong around my neck.  The little black tube-key, which appeared so insignificant on him, carried much weight for an object of its size.

“Good bye, Shadow,” Lehj-Nak spoke, softly.  He touched his finger tip to his forehead, and then pressed it to my forehead, right between my eyes, saying “Grahn teh.”  The world instantly dissolved into blinding, warm, white light and then disappeared altogether; a spark in reverse.

I awoke in a hospital bed.

I knew my life would never be the same. I was right.