Lovers by the Lake Part Five

Paul struggled to get up. He gave Amy a playful slap on her backside before helping her clean the dishes.

“That was an excellent meal, Amy. I don’t think I have ever enjoyed trout so much in my entire life. So, you really want to hear more about my younger years? I know you are one hundred percent correct about the death of JFK making a big impact on everyone. I am really sort of amused about your prom experience. You really were raised strictly. I know for sure if we were in the same school, I would never have gone out with you back then. So it is strange we ended up together,” Paul stated.

“Yes, it seems we are perfect examples of the strange sense of humor life has. But quit stalling and get on with your life story,” Amy demanded.

“OK, let’s see…after JFK’s death, it took a while for things to return to normal,” Paul reflected:

I still remember how the death of JFK darkened the soul of America, but life slowly returned to some degree of normality. Small towns across the nation still flew the flag at half-mast in honor the loss of a great man. The reality of the events during and after the assassination brought too much shame on the proud state of Texas. All of Texas was shrouded in shame and shock. Dallas was crushed under an avalanche of shame. With great effort, local communities slowly resumed civic activities and started to get back to normal.

All of Texas was proud that Johnson was now the president—the first Texan to live in the white house. I remember Dad rejoicing at the thought of what a great opportunity it would be for Texas to get some real benefits.

Texas was not like some of the other Southern states; discrimination was not blatant. There were no “Whites Only” signs, but most people in my small town knew where the boundaries were. No, the schools were not segregated, but the school district lines were carefully drawn. I learned a wide range of derogatory terms to be applied to those of a different color. I was one of the football players who went out after a game to round up any person of color and make sure they got “back to where they belong” by dragging them behind a pickup truck. It was just one of the things boys did in my hometown.

After the first cheers for the new president faded, I was shocked to hear Dad use the terms reserved for colored people when he spoke of Johnson. I always wondered about how dad used all the generally accepted terms to talk about the people from the other side of town around home, but when one came into the car dealership, it was “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So. How can I help you?” Yes, Dad was more than happy to sell them a new Cadillac, even though he hated to shake hands with them.

I noticed a decisive change in Dad’s attitude toward Johnson when he started to push some new laws. It had to do with some new laws for equal rights. It slowly grew from dislike to outright hate. I was not sure why Dad was so upset. Equal rights sounded like something everyone should support, but it sure made Dad mad.

I was only upset by the delay of the homecoming game. The homecoming game was held two weeks after Kennedy’s funeral, and both teams wore black armbands in honor of John F. Kennedy. I was happy. I had waited too long for the big homecoming game. It was my last big chance to show off for the college scouts. The game turned out to be a bitter battle, and both teams lost players to injuries during the game.

The score was close, and the game started to look like some cheap plot from a bad Hollywood movie. As the final seconds were ticking off the game clock, everyone in the stands was on their feet. With only seconds left, it took the skill of our place kicker to split the uprights, scoring a field goal, to win the game.

I was upset because I wasn’t given a chance to score a touchdown. It would have been good for the scouts to see me make the winning score, but Coach had other plans. Coach called upon me to carry the ball repeatedly to make critical first downs throughout the game. At every snap, I crashed my body into the hulking mass of the opponent’s linemen. I succeeded each time I was called upon to gain the critical yardage. My efforts were rewarded with back slapping from the coach, and my body paid for every inch with agonizing pain.

I suffered many hard hits, and my body was black and blue and sore all over. With considerable effort I managed to walk without limping. I did not want the coach or my father to see I was hurt. I did not want anyone to think I was a wimp. I dreamed of being a member of the Dallas Cowboys under the leadership of Tom Landry, and he did not have wimps on his team.

I didn’t want anyone to know how much pain I was in. After all this effort to become a star football player I did not want to live my life stuck in a small Texas town headed to nowhere. I was convinced football was my only opportunity to get out of town. Most of all, I did not want to end up like Dad!

The homecoming game is always followed by a big celebration. While the team members went to the locker room to clean up in preparation for the after-game events, the spectators from both sides gathered in the parking lot. Loud-voiced taunting accompanied by pushing and shoving nearly erupted into a riot. Things were quickly controlled; after all, the entire police force attended the game to cheer on the chief’s son.

Of course there was a dance after the game to celebrate. The tensions of the confrontation quickly evaporated as the couples arrived at the dance. Even with a big win, though, Kennedy’s funeral put a damper on the mood. The beating I received during the game prevented me from doing much dancing, but it did not keep me from making the big score with Sue.

It was clear from the moment we slipped away from the dance that we were both eager to explore all the possibilities a man and a woman can share. It was abundantly clear both of us were not virgins, and our combined expertise erupted in a firestorm of lust burning out of control all night long.

The morning after the dance, I dragged my aching body home. Staying out all night after a big game was routine. My parents no longer inquired about where I was when I came dragging my butt in the next day. Dad just tossed me a big, official-looking envelope as I dropped into a chair at the breakfast table.

Peg was hunched over a plate of ham and eggs, trying hard to ignore my arrival. Peg had graduated the previous year but still lived at home. She was working at the local bank and was trying to save up some money to buy a house. At least she said it was her plan.

What she was really saving for was a ticket out of there. She was desperate to escape this town and find a man who could treat her in a way she wanted to become accustomed to. Dad made it abundantly clear he thought of her as a freeloader.

“Other girls your age are married and settled down,” he would rant when she came in the house.

Before I was even able to open the envelope, there was a knock at the door. I tried to jump up to answer the door, but my banged-up body did not want to move, so my sister beat me there. I could see her talking to a tall man thru the screen door, but I could not make out who it was.

“Paul, it’s for you,” she called out over her shoulder.

I was more than surprised to see my coach at the door.

“Paul, after the game, I had a chance to talk to three college scouts. They were interested in you and two of your buddies, Bob and Mike. I told them I recommended each of you equally. I am sure you will be getting visitors soon to make you an offer. Now I’m not going to try to push you in any direction. I just wanted to give you a heads-up so you can start to think about what you want most. You need to have your thoughts together and know what is best, so these slick talkers don’t get you to sign before you can think. The three university reps I talked to were from University of Texas, Austin; Texas A & M; and Oklahoma University. I came over to tell you, your name was the first name on their list. So you are the first one I’m talking to,” Coach, beamed through his thick Texas drawl.

Coach turned down an invitation to come in for a cup of coffee. “I would love to sit and chat a bit, but I got to tell the other guys about their good fortune,” he said as he shook my hand.

I didn’t notice Dad standing behind me until I heard him thank Coach for stopping by.

I didn’t even finish my breakfast before there was another knock at the door. This time I got to the door before my sister. I was about to open the screen door when a tall man in an expensive suit said, “Good morning. I’m Philip More from the University of Texas, Austin, football recruitment office. I’m looking for Paul Granger.”

“I’m Paul. Please come in,” I tried to say with a mouth as dry as the Texas prairie in July. I called Dad to join me. Philip shook our hands and took the seat offered to him. I tried to be cool about the situation.

He took a second to settle into the chair before he opened his briefcase. “My staff and I have been watching you for a few years now, and we have been very happy to see the way you developed. I hope you have looked over the offer we sent to you by certified mail. It goes over the terms of the scholarship program we can offer you,” he said.

My heart was jumping up and down. The dryness of my mouth spread to my throat, and I had trouble speaking. I could see Dad was nodding his head as Philip explained the program package.

“I just wanted to be the first one to offer you a full athletic scholarship. I’m sure there will be many others coming after me, but no one will be able to offer you a better program, and remember, you were born a Texan,” he stated as he placed a big X next to the place he wanted me to sign.

I dropped down on the overstuffed easy chair and let out my breath slowly. Dad stepped up next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“You know, son, this is a big decision. It will be one of the most important decisions you may ever make in your entire life,” Dad said out loud as he punched my shoulder. “But if you want to know what I would do, I would go for Texas. Hook ’em horns!”

I had already made up my mind, but it was reassuring to hear Dad’s approval. This was exactly what I dreamed of. For as long as I had been playing, football I wanted to be a “Longhorn.” The best part of attending University of Texas was the location. It was just far enough from home I only had to come home when I needed to, yet far enough away I could live on my own.

One question popped into my consciousness. Is Sue going to attend UT? I did not know what caused me to think of Sue at that moment. We had only dated for a few weeks. Those few weeks were longer than I dated any other girl, but why would I be concerned about her attending UT? In my state of excitement, logic did not play an important part of my thought processes.

With trembling hand I quickly signed my name next to the X and shook hands to seal the deal. Dad stepped up next to me, shook Mr. More’s hand, and thanked him for coming by.

Mr. More smiled and said, “It is I who should be saying ‘thank you,’ but if you’ll excuse me, I have a few more players to talk with,” while he shook my hand again.

He smiled at me over his shoulder, as dad escorted him to the door.

Right after Philip More left, I grabbed the phone to call Sue. It took her mother a few minutes to wake her up and get her to the phone. I fidgeted and toyed with the phone cord while I waited to hear Sue’s voice.

“I was just drafted by UT for a football scholarship. I got to know if you plan to go to UT,” I blurted out in breathless excitement.

“Hello. Ahaaaah? What? Paul, can this wait until later? I can’t even think straight now. Ahaaaah. Come over later today so we can talk things over,” Sue replied with a yawn-muffled voice.

Sue went back to bed, and slept until after noon. If her mother hadn’t gotten her out of bed to eat lunch, she would have been in bed when I went over to tell her the good news. She was still sitting at the table, sipping coffee from a mug with a motto on it that read, “Don’t talk to me until I have had two of these.”

I slid into a chair next to her. “I sure hope you’re on number three,” I teased and kissed her on the cheek.

I put the thick folder on the table between us and started to explain the UT football program. All I could do was talk about how I was getting a scholarship and would be playing on one of the best college teams in the nation.

In my excitement I forgot all about why I had come over. I drew in a deep breath before I asked Sue if she wanted to attend UT. I sat and watched her to see what her reaction would be. Sue just sat quietly, sipping coffee. It seemed my voice was just a distant background buzzing in her ears. She gazed off into the distance, or maybe into some secret world of her dreams. Perhaps she thought about the events of the previous night as they played back in her mind’s eye. I’m not sure what she was thinking. I’m not sure I even knew what I was thinking at the moment.

Why did I want her to attend UT? We had not known each other very long. Was it just my hormones screaming her name after a wild night of unabashed passion? Sue sat sipping her coffee, trying to think. Her head was not clear; sleep deprivation clouded her thoughts. One thing she was sure of: this was one of those decisions one should not make in haste. Finally she spoke. “Paul, I am so happy for you! I know this is what you have been wanting all your life. What can I say? This is your dream come true, but I’m not sure what I want to do at this moment. The biggest problem is we really do not know each other. I just moved here a few months ago. You have been here all your life. We have been out on a few dates, but you really don’t know anything about me,” Sue answered.

“What do you mean? You have been my steady girl for over three weeks. We have talked about the future,” I blurted, cutting her off midsentence.

“Yes, we have been together almost from the first week I was here, but it seems like all you were interested in was how fast you could get me to spread my legs. Yes, you talked about the future, but it was always your future. I never had any input into the conversation,” Sue replied, trying to get to her point. “Now you come running over here with this big plan to go off to college and then pro football. But I don’t remember hearing you ask me about what I wanted for a future.”

“Well, it seems Sue was mature beyond her years,” Amy interjected.

“She must have seen I was just a jock. She must have had other relationships with jocks and learned from past experiences,” Paul reflected.

I could not believe my ears. “But I thought you wanted to live a life outside of this small town. I thought you wanted to have all the things money can buy,” I retorted. I became more and more defensive.

“That is the whole point. You never asked me what I wanted. You just assume I want what you want. I’m not sure of what I want right now. Graduation seems like a long time from now. I haven’t even applied for any colleges. Mom has been trying to get me into the accounting office at the bank where she works. I really need some time to think. For one thing, my family is not rich, and I could never afford to pay the tuition at UT. I’ve always been the beauty queen in school and never really worried about grades. I have to confess, my GPA is not good enough to get me any scholarship,” Sue responded in a bright, chirpy voice in an effort to show how excited she was about my good fortune without letting me see how concerned she was.

She got up and escorted me to the door. She kissed me somewhat passionately. Once the door closed, I could hear her fall against it and started to cry. I remember she told me how her mother was concerned about what she would do after graduation. Sue really did not want to go to college. Her dream for the perfect future involved getting married to a man with a dependable job, living in a nice house, and having two children. During the talk with her mother, Sue became all too aware that I was not the man she was looking for. She decided to think things over for a few days before she let me know what her decision was.

“Well, Paul, what did you expect? I mean, no girl likes to be treated like that!” Amy scolded.

“Now I know how wrong I was. Just like my attitude toward all the women in my life. I always thought they were there for my pleasure. It took a long time and some hard lesions to teach me the error of my ways,” conceded Paul.

I called her almost daily, asking her out. I kept pressing her for an answer. In time she did agree to go out to the drive-in. The sex in the backseat was fun, but it was not good enough to make her change her mind. She knew for sure I was not what she was looking for.

After we got our clothes back on, she said, “I have to let you know what is on my mind. I really don’t see a real future for us. You and I are just a sexual fling. I have to admit, it has been a great time for me. I am sure I’m not the only girl you are having sex with, and there are many men eager to get into my panties. I think we both need to grow up a lot more before trying to settle down. You dream of being a football star in the major leagues, and I want to be a housewife in a small town. Paul, you may think living here is totally square, but it is my dream. I want all those things you seem to resent. I told you that you do not know me well enough. You don’t know that this is the third high school I have attended. My parents have moved so often, I have lost count of the places we lived. I no longer even try to make good friends, because I never know how long I will be in the area. So you see, my dream is to find a place where I can settle down and live the good life,” she continued in a hushed voice.

“Go on to UT and be a football star. I am sure there are lots of pretty women eager to take care of you, and they might even share your dreams. I would rather be just one more notch on your gun than become a ball and chain on your ankle,” Sue concluded with a deep sigh.

“Sue, you’re right about how we have different goals, and I really didn’t stop to think about what was important to you. I don’t want to lose you, and I hate to ask if we can be friends as it’s such a corny phrase. I do hope we can be more than just friends,” I replied to her. We did remain friends, but now we both knew what to expect from each other, and it would never be a long-term relationship.

“Oh, Paul, Sue really did a lot of thinking to come up with all her reasons to let you go. Maybe with all those address changes, she’d learned how to break away,” Amy mused.

“Looking back on it now, I think you’re right. Sue’s experiences taught her to defend against being hurt by emotional relationships. At the time I was just a small-town boy filled with my dreams, with no thought of others,” Paul acknowledged. “That was the end. I think we both knew in our hearts there never really was a beginning. At least she said there was never anything more than raw sexual attraction for me. She was not dumb. I was a football jock, and she was a beauty queen. She was not afraid of exploring all the sexual possibilities I could offer. She thought she knew the difference between lust and love. Even though she never felt love, she experienced lust many times, and she was sure when love came her way she would know the difference,” Paul recounted.

“I was hurt. It was the first time in my life a girl turned me down. Later I would realize Sue did me a great favor, but at the moment, I felt the pain of losing. It was a totally new experience for me. The situation did give me something to think about. For the first time in my life, I had to accept the reality of not being the only person in the world. Sue pointed out how I was only talking about my future and not thinking about her and her future,” Paul stated.

“Sue really gave you a wake-up call. Did you stop to think about what she was trying to yell you?” inquired Amy.

“I knew this knowledge must be important, but it was not important enough to change my mind. The football scholarship was too important to me. So I went on to UT to live my dream. Even after I went off to UT, I called Sue to say I was going to be home for the weekends. But it seemed our schedules never permitted a rematch. She was happy at home, and I was a big man on campus. When we could meet, whatever happened, happened. We just went along with the flow. Our paths only crossed for a short time, and now the distance was just too great. As it turned out, we were both just players in life’s play, and a small part of our education,” Paul commented.

“You must have been hurt by the way she just let you go. You might be right; Sue had a lot of turmoil in her life. She must have been telling you the truth about needing to find a safe secure place to settle down,” Amy contributed.

“I must say, at first I did not think talking about my past was going to do any good, but now I can see how things in my past did have an effect on my development. I think you have heard enough about me for now. So tell me what happened after your prom,” Paul chided.

“Wow, Paul, your life really was filled with drama. You sound like one of the guys in my school. The girls called him a heartbreaker, but most of the smart girls knew he was just a want-to-be playboy. Well, help me clean up, and I will fill in more of my background,” Amy said with a sigh.

They busied themselves with the chore of camp housekeeping. Once everything was cleaned and safely stored, Paul built the fire up to keep them warm.