Love You to Death

Aphrodite had seen her fair share of disasters—star-crossed lovers, jealous gods, even that one time Zeus got turned into an anime protagonist and somehow still managed to be the worst—but this? This was a new level of absurdity.

She stood on the banks of the River Styx, flipping her golden curls as she took in the gloomy aesthetic of the Underworld. “Ugh, so edgy,” she muttered, adjusting the pink ribbon in her hair. “This place looks like the background of every tragic anime backstory.”

The mist swirled, and from the darkness emerged a towering figure, his long black cloak billowing in slow motion like an S-tier antagonist making his final entrance. Thanatos, the Angel of Death, exuded the kind of brooding energy that would make anime fangirls weep. His silver eyes glowed under his dark hood, and his skeletal fingers gripped a scythe that absolutely looked like it would be a limited-edition weapon in a gacha game.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, voice low and impossibly smooth—like that one mysterious husbando character everyone simps for but knows is doomed.

Aphrodite smirked. “Tsk tsk, broody-kun. Love and death go hand in hand.” She twirled dramatically, striking a classic magical-girl pose, complete with sparkles. “It’s destiny!”

Thanatos sighed, rubbing his temples. “Gods, I hate anime.”

Aphrodite gasped, clutching her chest as if he had just personally betrayed her entire bloodline. “You take that back! Anime is the most powerful storytelling medium in existence! Have you ever seen a shoujo romance? The angst? The pining? The ‘oh no, I tripped and landed on your chest’ moments?! That’s peak art!”

Thanatos gestured to the wailing souls drifting through the mist. “I deal with actual tragedy. Do you have any idea how many anime protagonists end up here after making one bad decision?”

Aphrodite smirked. “Ah, so you do know anime.”

The god of death groaned. “I don’t watch it. I just… process a lot of the aftermath.”

She clapped her hands together. “That settles it! You need a love story of your own! And not just any love story—a shoujo anime love story!”

Thanatos crossed his arms. “No.”

“Yes.”

Thanatos narrowed his glowing eyes. “I swear by the River Styx, if you—”

Aphrodite snapped her fingers. The air shimmered with pink cherry blossom petals. Somewhere in the distance, dramatic violin music began playing.

Thanatos stiffened. He felt something. Something horrifying.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Aphrodite waggled her eyebrows. “Oh, just gave you the most tragically beautiful crush. You’ll meet her soon enough.”

Thanatos clenched his fists. “Tell me it’s not a mortal.”

“Oops.” Aphrodite vanished in a swirl of sparkles and mischief.

Later that night, in a small candlelit room, a lone girl sat by the window, staring at the moon. She had long, flowing hair, impossibly large anime eyes filled with a deep sadness, and a school uniform that somehow managed to look elegant despite being completely impractical.

She sighed, resting her chin on her hands. “I’ve always felt… different,” she murmured. “Like something was missing.”

A chilling breeze swept through the room. She turned—and there, silhouetted against the moonlight, stood a tall, dark figure.

Thanatos.

His cloak fluttered dramatically as he stepped forward. “I am the Angel of Death,” he intoned, voice dripping with tragic importance.

She gasped. “You… You’ve come for me, haven’t you?”

Thanatos hesitated. His grip on his scythe faltered. What is this feeling? His heart—did he even have one?—felt heavy. His usual cold detachment was gone, replaced by something far more inconvenient.

Aphrodite’s voice echoed in his mind: Shoujo romance, broody-kun! Just go with it!

Thanatos exhaled sharply. “I… I don’t know why, but I—”

The girl’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Thanatos cursed under his breath. Aphrodite had doomed him.

The next morning, Thanatos found himself sitting in a park, next to her. How? Why? He didn’t even remember how he got there. The girl—her name was apparently Hikari, because of course it was—giggled and offered him a bento box.

“I made this for you,” she said sweetly. “I didn’t know what Death liked to eat, so I just made everything kawaii.”

Thanatos stared at the rice ball shaped like a tiny skull. “I don’t eat.”

Hikari pouted. “Mouuu~ You have to eat! It’s a date!”

Thanatos winced. A date? He glanced at the sky, half-expecting Aphrodite to be watching from above. Sure enough, a few pink sparkles floated down, and he could hear her smug laughter.

“Oh, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he muttered.

Hikari tilted her head. “Eh?”

Thanatos sighed. Maybe, just maybe, if he played along, the curse would wear off. “Fine,” he muttered, picking up the tiny skull-shaped rice ball.

Hikari clapped excitedly. “Sugoi~! The Angel of Death is eating my cooking!”

He took a bite. It was… surprisingly good.

His scythe, resting beside him, shimmered with concern. Master… are we really doing this?

Thanatos swallowed. “Looks like we are.”

Meanwhile, in Olympus, Aphrodite was doubled over laughing.

“I HAVE CREATED A TSUNDERE ANGEL OF DEATH!”

Hera walked by, raising an eyebrow. “You cursed the literal Angel of Death with anime romance?”

Aphrodite wiped away a tear. “Hera, sweetie, I gifted him character development.”

Hera sighed. “You’re going to regret this.”

Aphrodite smirked. “Oh no, I live for this.”

And somewhere in the human world, Thanatos—God of Death, feared by mortals and immortals alike—was now blushing over a homemade lunch.

Aphrodite had won.