Love is not understood if you do not wear hard love. Life cannot be felt without love.

16-17 years old very carefree. Relaxed, but unintentionally sweet feeling. She has to go to a college in the next town after studying from a girls school.

There was co-education. There was a lot of panic, hesitation and fear. On the first day, when I went to submit the form with my father, seeing a group of boys, my life dried up. Fear stood in one corner. Dad stood in line. The strange eyes of the boys as if they were examining me that suddenly he left.

Madam, why are you standing in the corner here, what's the problem? Bite me, there is no blood. He looked at his father with great difficulty and said, my father is in line. He left without saying anything and after ten minutes he took the admission slip in his hand and went to give it to his father and said, congratulations uncle, Kanika has been admitted.

I looked at him in surprise. Hey, how did you know my name? He laughed and said, I have seen the name of your form. He said to go, if there is any problem, I am not. His words rang in my ears. I stared at her until I could see her back.

He did not dare to go to college for seven days even after admission. Then my father forcibly took me to college. He appeared at the gate himself. Seeing us, he smiled and said, "Kanika, you don't want to come to college after so many days?"

Hearing the name from his tongue with so much authority, something tickled him. Uncle, don't come from tomorrow, send Kanika alone, if anything I am not her, but I am not saying that she would have taken me to the seventh heaven. When I hesitated to ask his name, he looked me in the eye and said, "Keep whatever you like."

Gradually I began to fit into the college environment. I would sit in class and he would look at me. In an unintentional bond, I kept tying. Getting me home from college was like his daily routine. But he did not come home. My parents knew he was going to drop me off, but they never had a problem with it because they thought it was fair to them.

I started calling him Avi. He never said anything or I never tried to find out his real name or anything else about him. Our meeting turned into friendship and then love. I fell in love with her that one day she would suffer if she was late for college.

But one thing always bothered me, I used to express my love openly but he never showed love like that. Yes. He would write me lots of letters and his every word would take me on a journey into the colorful world. He had very few friends in college. Whenever there was a puja in my house, I would take prasad etc. for him, but he would give some grains in his mouth.

A few times I felt a little strange, but I was badly caught in his fascination. So I couldn't think of anything different. We were humming our love songs as the mood in the city changed. Our area fell prey to Hindu-Muslim riots. For seven days we were in the shadow of curfew.

When the situation improves in 10-12 days after the college opens, when the situation improves in the days when the college opens, he wants to see Abir's face first. But he did not appear. Maybe he went somewhere because of the riots. Asks friends if not seen in 3-4 days. At first he did not say anything, but when my condition worsened he took me to his house.

I was shocked. He lived alone, his name was Yasin Afraz Sheikh. He was associated with an organization whose strings were attached to neighboring countries. He had a hand in the riot. He befriended me so that the police would not suspect him. I broke down, hating myself too. But one day a voice came from the corner of my heart that you have truly loved. You did Wafa, he became unfaithful, proud of his love.

Today is 28 years. I have my own family and children, but sometimes a voice comes up - I'm not ... so I chuckle. Even then I want her safety, she was my true love, right?