Love as Fuel for Living

A peaceful day fishing with Angel… sure, she was annoyed because we were late to the docks and she was hungry. And maybe I’m not the best at planning events, but it’s the thought that counts, right? We didn’t come across a lot of fish that summer day in June, but man I did feel more in love than I ever felt in my life. God, I miss that woman… I can hear her voice speaking to me now… “Baby I love you,” in a sort of melancholy, sing-song tone that is layered with her acknowledgement of the mistakes of my past. “Baby, I love you.” “Baby, I love you.” “Baby, the island man.” Okay now I’m confused… “A remote island, man!” I awoke, startled, to Jack pacing around our shelter. He stops, turns to me, and opens his eyes wide. “Man, you know how much of the world is still undiscovered? I mean, I remember reading about some guy from like 50 years ago who took a boat off the shore of Mexico and was lost at sea for over 400 days. Over 400 days, man! That’s more than a year. No one was able to find him until he landed in the Marshall Islands.” “Can I have a second, Jack… I just woke up” I mumbled, almost incoherently. I haven’t been sleeping much lately. Jack comes closer. “No man, you DON’T get it. We could get a boat --a nice boat-- and just leave this place. No one would find us. We could find an uninhabited island. Live our lives out. Maybe bring some girls with us.” I had heard enough. “Get a fucking grip. We have to get to the safe zone.”

I get up off my bed, kicking aside the empty bottle of whiskey we had been drinking last night. Angel’s face flashes in my head. She’s been on my mind a lot lately. Jack sits down, looking defeated. We had been staying in an underground shelter for the past several days evading the troopers from the east. If we get captured, we essentially have two options: join their internment camp or die. If we avoid them, the next step is to avoid the tribes that had been beginning to form, and of course, the bandits along the interstate. We woke up the others. I was with three other guys – Jack, towering over 6’5’’, was a former firefighter, and all around a great guy. He was living his life as a bachelor before all this. Pravir was quiet, slightly man, and a former classmate of mine from medical school. He was a married man. Unfortunately, he lost his wife and family to the invasion. I don’t know how he gets up every day; he’s a stronger man than me. Devin was a former pharmaceutical executive serving a 7-year prison sentence for racketeering. Silver lining for him is that the jails were basically abandoned, so he’s now free… you can call it that. I turn to the three of them and say “Guys, it is 3:35 AM. I think this is our safest time to move.” It felt like just yesterday I was finishing my fellowship in cardiology, eager to begin my private practice. Once our global digital currency was hacked by the powers in the east, money lost its value, so there went my paychecks… but thankfully, also my student loans. We put on our purifier masks, grabbed our bags, and opened up the bunker. The air was moist. The sun was scorching. We saw the ruins of nation’s capital peering out from the foliage growing over the muddy hills in front of us. Most people don’t realize that Washington D.C. was built over a swamp, but the humidity and mosquitos is a good reminder. We hopped on our Jeep and headed south. Navigation is by maps these days. No US government operations meant no GPS system. Just like in the days of my grandparents. Then again, they weren’t being chased by bandits! *POP* “Damn it, they’re back again!” yelled Pravir. A bullet had just hit the back of our Jeep, a precious commodity during these times. We were being chased by three masked men on motorcycles. Jack veered the car towards the nearest exit, and I fired in the general direction of the motorcycle tires. I missed all three motorcycles. Again, I’m a cardiologist, not a sharpshooter… Luckily for us, gas is hard to come by and I guess they figured we weren’t worth the trouble and they turned around. I was terrified when this all started. Now these feel like normal everyday occurrences. We decided to go local to avoid the bandits. I couldn’t wait to get back to the next safe zone, where they claim the purifier masks won’t be necessary anymore. I hate wearing this thing. The next safe zone is in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Safe zones are small villages centered around the churches, where people have started to rebuild some semblance of a normal society. Anywhere else feels like the wild. The major cities of the United Sates were infected with an airborne virus. Those exposed to the virus were referred to as the Afflicted, and you can always tell by their clinical presentation of deathly pale skin and convex chest. The prognosis for these people is poor. We drive without stops for over 6 hours, with Devin describing his plans to rebuild his wealth. Jack rambles more of what life would be like on a remote island, recalling how Michael Rockefeller apparently got lost at sea off the coast of Indonesia, and eventually came to shore, only to be eaten by the natives of Pantano de Asmat. Pravir was quiet, only looking out of the window in thought. He worried me the most. We come across some of the Afflicted along the way, but thankfully no troopers from the East. As we arrive in Fayetteville, I start to get butterflies in my stomach. Last I spoke with Angel, she said she would be in Fayetteville waiting. I don’t know what I will do if she’s not there. I clutch the locket around my neck – shaped like an anatomical heart, with the atria and ventricles well demarcated. Inscribed on the locket is the phrase “nurses are the key to your heart.” Corny, yes, but a reminder of Angel, who was a cardiac care nurse. In the midst of this post-apocalyptic lifestyle, I still find meaning in the person I miss the most.