Lost in Thought At the Park

I am not really sure how long I had been sitting there, just staring at the passerbys and the people enjoying themselves at the park. It was not uncommon for me to lose track of time on these "days off" I took from time to time.

It was time I could use to breathe, think and plan. I enjoyed seeing the veritable feast for the eyes that laid before me. Life in action, of all sorts. The joggers and runners, training for races, the dogwalkers with their various breeds of canine buddies. Then there were the couples, young and old, sharing picnics and laughs with one another. The families often left me feeling a little bitter, though, as I couldn't really relate to the experience they were having.

It made me think back to when I was a nipper and how a trip to the park was usually just me and my mom. Maybe my gramma if she was in town. Dad always had better things to do. Whether it was the pub, the pool hall, work or his many mistresses.

I never resented the children that were enjoying thesmelves at the park, but I did have a strong sense of hatred that would come up into my mind and heart when I would see a dutiful dad present.

Early on when I started this routine, or custom, I had learned the hard way to wear earphones. The first few trips many years ago saw many people sitting down beside me and trying to engage me in polite conversation.

I despise small talk and polite conversation and wish the people would realise I wanted to be left alone. Fortunately, that is not really a problem these days as I usually have earphones in or less conspicious headphones. Even if I am not listening to Beethoven or Lizst, I keep them in my ears. When I am listening to music, I have the volume down low, so I can take in the ambience of the park.

I've noticed some other people like to do the same thing as me. I guess people watching is a common trait of human beings. We are endlessly nosey. Whether it's just to enjoy other people's experiences, or to live vicariously through them, we are not very different. Or are we?

From my point of view, it is helpful. Watching other people. Watching strangers, living their lives at the park. I love watching arguments and fights.

Seeing drunks get unruly and cause disruptions. Youths trying to play like adults with switchblades, as the night comes in. You'd be amazed what you can see, if you've never tried it.

People often worry, I've noticed, about whether they will be branded with a certain title or seen as odd for just sitting and staring. My experience has been that I become almost invisible.

No one gives me much attention. Whether it's the tanned ladies catching sun rays or the young mothers discussing their sleeping patterns. I'm almost like a spectre or a phantom. I often feel that people are aware of me but don't want to catch sight of me incase our eyes meet.

Perhaps they know.

Perhaps they can see - the few that have caught my eye - that behind my eyes is their worst nightmares. That behind my eyes, I am thinking about how lovely their head would look removed from their body and pressed firmly into a spike in my purpose-built kill room. Perhaps they can see that I am measuring them up for my torture rack and deciding which parts of their body I am going to remove first once I capture them.

It makes me smile with a deep sense of hope, thinking that they do know. That I may just be the last person they set their eyes upon before they breathe their last breath, before their lungs give out and their heart stops beating.

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: This is for JBaz 'Silent thought' Challenge, you can find out more about here:

I have had the idea banging around in my head since I read the original post and figured it was a good sideswerve kind of twist.

A challenge for everyone:

How often in life, do you see someone just silently staring into space. What are they thinking, what is their story? Are they happy, sad, reflecting, remembering, worried.

I walked past a person staring out a window. No movement, no expression. I Challenged myself to write a story about his silent thoughts, what was he thinking.

The challenge to you, it must be between roughly 600-650 words. It must be written nonstop in one sitting. (Take your time and work it in your head before you begin).

For more of a challenge allow yourself only ONE edit. Let us know if you succeeded with one edit.

Aside from the odd spelling mistake that happened, I didn't change much and wrote it all in one sitting, as directed in the prompt.

If you want something a little lighter to read, why not try these options:

You can also check out the rest of my work here.