Longknife and The Queen

The river ran backwards on the day the Queen vanished. But, it didn't run red. There was no blood left in the kingdom. She had bled the land dry long before. That her loss, however, could so affect the very course of nature itself, was testimony to her prowess. She was the arbiter of her world, the fulcrum upon which the collective fate of a nation was balanced. In other words, she was an insufferable bitch and nobody lamented her disappearance. Neither did they rejoice at it, at least not in public.

An emergency cabinet meeting was called to address the matter with the Vice Regent spearheading the initial information gathering session.

"As the first to notice our Queen's absence, Fillbury, would you recite to the gathered assembly, what you found upon entering the Queen's chambers," he said to a nebbish man with a squeaky falsetto.

"Yes, of course, Vice Regent," the man replied loudly. He was a man who never shied away from basking in the limelight, regardless of the situation, despite, or possibly because of the fact, that Fillbury is so thin, that if you were to observe him from the side, he'd almost disappear himself.

"As I stated to the Palace Guard, I knocked on her Majesty's door, three times sharply, to announce my presence and intent to deliver to her, her breakfast as I do every morning bright and early. Our beloved Queen needs no beauty rest and is an early riser to whom is served a breakfast more suited to a bird or young child, than to the vivacious living embodiment of the sun that is our great Monarch."

This was an exaggeration on the servant's part as the Queen never wakes before 10 am and if her breakfast is fit for a bird or young child, then that bird is the largest and fattest bird in the entire animal kingdom and the young child is the offspring of an elephant or ogre.

"Please spare us, if you would Fillbury, the addendums and digressions-we haven't the time," the Vice Regent said. "Wherever the Queen Mother may be, I doubt even she can hear you. Now, continue."

"Apologies, Vice Regent," Fillbury said. "Well, after I'd alerted Her Majesty to my presence, I received no indication that she had heard. She must have been entrenched deeply in some important matter of state..."

"Fillbury," the Vice Regent shouted.

"Well, anyway, I waited ten full minutes before entering the room, and upon entering saw that her bed had not been slept in and there was no indication she'd been in the room at all," he said quickly. "I found nothing in the way of evidence as to what could have befallen our Great Queen."

"Thank you, Fillbury," the Vice Regent said. "You may sit. So, there we are. Our Queen is gone and there is nothing pointing to what may have happened to her or where she may have gone. As most of you know, the sustainability of our Kingdom's defenses and much of its infrastructure rely solely on the Queen's magical gifts and while we do have an army and constabulary, their purview lies mainly in the suppression of domestic turmoil and upheaval. So, I believe it is incumbent upon us to, in Her Majesty's stead, study the mystic arts ourselves to prevent total societal degradation, while, also doing everything in our power to find our beloved Monarch. Those in dissent?"

The Vice Regent nods to the commander of the Palace Guard and he silently orders his men to tap their spears on the ground once. The message is received by all in attendance and not a dissenting voice is heard, nobody even dared scratch their nose, lest the maneuver be misinterpreted.

"I'll find yer Queen," said a gruff voice from the back of the hall.

All heads turned toward the source of the voice. Standing in the back of the hall in a relaxed manner that suggested he couldn't care less if they found her or not, was a burly, hirsute man, chomping on an unlit cigar. Once, he'd had their attention though, he cooly lit the cigar, using the breatsplate of a nearby Palace Guardian to strike a match.

"But, I shant do it fer free," he added while blowing a smoke ring toward the guard.

"And who might you be, sir," the Vice Regent asked. He also pointed to the guard to take the man's cigar but the trained warrior saw a flash of warning in the man's eyes and decided that it wasn't worth losing a hand over and returned to standing stoically.

"My name is Geran, but most call me, Longknife," he said. "On account of the thing I have sheathed down here." He started to reach toward the front of his pants and everyone gasped. The Vice Regent began to interject until he saw Geran pull an unusually long dagger from a hidden sheath sown into his canvas pants. "Many a monster and fugitive has tasted the steel of Prick, forged by the elves of the Morning Wood."

"I cannot say I've ever heard any of those names, prior to this moment, sir," the Vice Regent said. "They almost sound made up. Do you have any references?"

"Aye," Geran says. "If you wish, I can recount fer ye, the last job I completed. It involves a dragon and not an inconsiderable amount of ingenuity from meself."

"I don't think we have that kind of time, sir," the Regent says. "Our queen has disappeared after all. If we hire you, you won't be going alone. Can you work well with others or should we handle this amongst ourselves?"

"I can work a'right with other fellas," Geran says. "But I won't be splitting any of the reward. And they'll take me orders or they can take a hike."

"Very well, Geran," the Vice Regent says. "We'll hire you to find Our Queen and will be sending a contingent of the Palace Guard along as well to keep an eye on you and provide any support you may need. We'll discuss payment upon completion of the job. You're dismissed."

"Aye," Geran says. As he turns, the slightest hint of a smile creases his face, hidden behind his copious facial hair. "Well, that was a sight easier than I was expecting," he says to himself.

Once the hall door had been shut and Geran escorted out of ear shot, the Vice Regent calls for attention.

"Step forward Captain of the Guard," he says. The Captain steps loudly forward and inclines his head proudly to the Regent who is staring down at him gravely. "Under no circumstances is that man to have any actual contact with the Queen. If he manages to locate her, it must be you or another member of the guard who approaches her and Mr. Longknife, will have to meet Mr. long sword. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly, sir," the Captain replies.

"Good," the regent says. "Now, Gentlemen, we have an opportunity here if we play our cards right to forever change our fortunes. We must start preparing for all the possible outcomes of our current situation and be ready to seize our moment. You are dismissed, for now."