Like Letters Written in the Sand Part Twelve

Almost six weeks had passed since her world had been turned upside down, and one month had passed since he had declared his love for her, but her memories of being trapped in that car, or what seemed like an eternity, continued to haunt her. As the truck approached, it was out of control, crushing her car like an accordion, crushing her legs.

As Anna-leis learned later, the truck driver had an alcohol level over three times the legal limit, a fact that left her rage-filled and Clarence wanting to protect her. But. he couldn’t protect her from an idiot getting behind the wheel so wasted, and he couldn’t protect her in the way he wanted. At the time when he almost lost her, he had not been able to find the courage to tell her how much he loved her, but that occurred when he sat next to her hospital bed two weeks after he had gotten the call that she had been flown to New Hope Hospital, the hospital most equipped to treat her severe injuries. During those first two weeks , he had kept watch by her bedside, praying he would not lose her. No one had ever made him feel the way she did. In order to protect her, he would be willing to risk his life.

Although he was heartbroken over what had occurred, he felt relief when she finally woke up, because she was alive, and that was the most important thing. As Anna-leis’es eyes opened, she had no idea that her world had been turned upside down by a selfish and stupid decision, a decision that ultimately destroyed her career. Clarence’s eyes alone informed her that something was wrong.

She offered a weak smile, when she opened her eyes to see Clarence there, knowing he loved her somewhere deep down she knew that, and she loved him too. But they kept skating around the truth, the love they felt for each other, but both were too afraid to admit it, building walls around themselves to protect themselves from pain, but it was keeping them from something else too. When he received the call from the hospital, realizing that Anna-leis had listed him as an emergency contact, he realized what a fool he had been. Nearly losing her had been a wake-up call.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her smile, but when he saw the pain in her eyes, his heart broke. If he could, Clarence would carry her pain for her, but he was unable to do so.

When he saw the nurses checking on Anna-leis and letting them know a doctor would be in soon to speak with her, he felt a sense of relief.

“Am I going to be alright?” Anna-leis asked, her eyes etched with concern, eyes Clarence felt he could get lost in, but they were filled with pain and confusion at this moment.

Although Clarence wanted to tell her that she was fine, he was unable to do so. There was a great deal he did not understand, a great deal he did not know, but one thing he was certain about was how much he loved her.

She stared at the ceiling for a time, thinking about how many times she had feared this very scenario in her career, as she waited for the doctor to arrive to let her know how serious her injuries were. She was a police officer and danger is part of the job, but she had not been on duty when the drunk driver struck her car without giving her a chance to react. Moreover, the crash had occurred so rapidly, that it would play over and over in her mind in slow motion, but in that moment her mind was still foggy due to the drugs and the two-week coma.

In spite of the doctor’s appearance, she knew that looks can be deceiving. Six years of pursuing suspects had taught her not to make assumptions. Besides being able to read eyes, she also knew a lot about a person: a certain glint could indicate a person’s intent, but when it came to Clarence, she had put blinders on. It was obvious to her, but she had not allowed herself to see it.

Anna-leis felt Clarence’s grip tightening on her hands as the doctors explained the severity of the damage to her legs, and how almost every bone in her legs had been crushed, so severe that they had no alternative but to amputate both legs above the knee.

There were tears forming in her eyes as she tried to blink them back, but the reality of the situation, the man holding her hand, broke the dam.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Anna-leis asked, her eyes filled with pleading.

He squeezed her hand a little harder. “I do not know Anna-leis, but we can figure it out together.”

I do not want you to feel sorry for me, Clarence.

“Can you not see that I love you by now?” he asked, grabbing her by the hand.

‘I feel broken’. She cried, her tears falling onto her pillow.

“No, you are beautiful, that has not changed, it never will.”

© Michelle R Kidwell

July.20.2022, Revised April 2023