Like Letters Written in the Sand Part Thirteen

In Clarence’s arms, Anna-lei felt safe, loved, and wanted. He saw a beautiful woman, a kind soul who had a strong faith, despite everything she had endured. Clarence didn’t see what she didn’t have, he saw her for who she really was, as a beautiful person, a kind soul.

Clarence became more in love with his wife the more he learned about her struggles and her triumphs. It was evident that Anna-leis was no ordinary woman, she was extraordinary, he knew that the first time he had come to her crime scene as a reporter he had often encountered Anna-leis, and he had fallen in love with her almost from the moment he had laid eyes on her.

In the middle of the night, he would wake up and glance over at his wife, reminding himself that he was married to Anna-leis, the woman he had spent ten years secretly pursuing, or maybe not so secretly chasing.

He smiled at Ann-leis sleeping form, grateful that her pain did not keep her awake. Phantom pain, an odd term for such an intense pain, a pain that at times nearly upended her day. Clarence was there for her, of course, but he couldn’t make her pain disappear as much as he wanted. With time, her physical wounds were healing, and the phantom pains were less frequent and more manageable. Having been abused by her parents was a whole different matter.

Anna-leis had buried the pain of her past for far too long, but with Clarence, her husband, she could finally open up. She no longer had to bottle things up until she exploded. She was shown that being human did not make her weak. Clarence showed her that regardless of what, he would love her, and more importantly, God would love her as well.

Clarence had encouraged her to grow in strength and faith. He gave her the courage to go back to Church to face the world, as he knew hiding away was not Anna-leis’s style and if she did, she would be miserable.

Anna-leis, your scars are a sign of survival, not weakness.” Clarence said gently that it was Anna-leis’ decision to return to Church the first Sunday back, but it did not stop her from being nervous about how others might perceive her.

“I don’t want to be treated like a broken person. On the outside, it may look like that, but I don’t feel that way.”

Sweetheart, anyone who truly knows you would never describe you like that.” Clarence said.

Anna-leis nodded and continued to get ready. Although some things took her longer now, she still managed, and she was becoming physically stronger. In time, the physical and emotional scars would heal. It was Clarence who helped her to heal, and she was the one who made him feel complete.

“I don’t understand why I worry so much about how others view me, Church is about worshiping God, not about what others think.” Anna-leis stared at Clarence with questions in her head.

The words and actions of others hurt you, Anna-leis. It’s okay to get angry, to be hurt, to laugh and to cry. I know you were taught to turn off your emotions as a child, but sweetheart, you are allowed to feel. Even the Bible says, “There is a time for laughter and a time for tears.”

Ecclesiastes 3

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace.

While Anna-leis knew the verses in Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, she had never really pondered what they meant to her, especially after her parents had spent the first sixteen years of her life convincing her that her feelings did not matter, that her needs did not matter, and that she did not matter. It made Clarence angry to think parents could treat their own children like this. His childhood hadn’t been perfect, but he loved his parents.

“Now I realize what they were doing wrong, but as a child, I believed that I was the defective one, asking for being treated as if I wasn’t worthy of love.”

Sweetheart, the problem was with them, not with you.

Anna-leis nodded as she settled in front of the driver for the short drive to Church. Her nervousness was evident to Clarence.

“I know you’re worried, but it’s all in God’s hands. The fact that you are now my wife is something I’ll be grateful for for the rest of my life.”

“I thank God every day for that.” Anna-leis replied. Clarence, I couldn’t have gotten through this without the Lord, but I couldn’t have gotten through it without you. There is no doubt in my mind.”

“Dove, I’m glad I can be here for you. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Having each other to lean on is a blessing.”

Anna-leis smiled at the nickname, which Clarence called her only as a pet name. There was something about him that made her forget about her worries, her insecurities.

“I love you Clarence, don’t ever doubt that, even if I don’t express it as often as I should.” Anna-Lewis’s acknowledged.

Anna-leis had a hard time talking about her emotional struggles, her childhood pains. But now she was opening up in a way she had never done before.

To Be Continued…

Copyright ©️ July 2022, Rewrite Michelle R Kidwell, May.03.2023