Like Letters Written in the Sand:Part Five

Something about being with Clarence made Anna-leis forget, even if for a brief period of time, everything she had experienced, or at least made it more bearable. Even when she felt ugly, Clarence made her believe that she was beautiful. But she was anything but ugly, and it was his job to help her see that, and to prepare her for life in the world. Without Clarence, she would have remained hidden from society, afraid to face it. He knew how she felt, and he would do anything to enable her to see herself through his eyes.

As he grabbed her hand, he looked at her with a look that melted her heart.

“Anna-leis, you are not broken, you are beautiful, both inside and out.”

Inevitably, she would look down at her lap, usually covered by a light blanket, trying to determine what he saw. She lost both of her legs as a result of another individual’s stupid decision. However, even if she mastered the prosthetics, the reality would still remain; a drunk driver had destroyed her life and career. She mourned the fact that she would never be a police officer again more than she grieved for her legs.

“I feel pretty broken right now.” She said softly while nursing a cup of coffee. For lunch, they had gone to a small cafe, Clarence well aware that this was a significant event. Despite her tough exterior, she was still so fragile. It had become easier for him to read the pain and vulnerability in her eyes.

As he squeezed her hand tighter, he looked at her with love in his eyes. There is no brokenness in you, not in the ways that matter. The person you are is beautiful, and I am grateful to God every day for you.”

Rather than wiping away tears of sorrow, she found herself wiping away tears of joy. It never occurred to me that I would be so blessed.” Her voice caught as she spoke.

They stared into one another’s eyes for a few moments before

Clarence spoke gently. “It is not yet the end of today, I have more in store for us.”

Her smile spread across her face as she wheeled herself to the car, Clarence letting her do so because he understood how important it was for her to remain independent, and she only requested assistance when the Phantom pains made it next to impossible for her to do so on her own. Prior to hearing Anna-leis screaming out from pains in her legs, legs that no longer existed, Clarence had never realized how real phantom pains were. It was his deepest desire to be able to alleviate her suffering.

It was a good day today, Anna-leis still had the spark in her eyes that had all but disappeared at the hospital the day she learned the severity of her injuries, and how she would have to undergo amputation, but the spark was back today, and it melted his heart.

I am grateful to you, Lord. I was so close to losing Anna-leis before I could tell her how much she meant to me, but you gave us a second chance, thank you, Lord.

“We’re here.” Clarence said gently, realizing that Anna-leis had closed her eyes, unsure whether she was asleep or in pain. It was his prayer that it was not the latter.

Anna-leis opened her eyes, surprised to see that they were at a beach where they had first met years ago, before their careers had both drawn them together and distanced them from each other. It was off-season, so few people were present, which didn’t bother her at all. Her smile returned as she recalled their chance meeting and the way they had been pushed and pulled in different directions, and how now, through something tragic, they had been brought back together.

“I am not sure how well my chair will perform in the sand. It may present a problem.”

“I will carry you if you let me”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his, a blanket had already been spread, and a heart had been drawn in the sand. It was as if she were a young girl who had just had her first crush, giddy with excitement. However, this was much more than that.

“When did you do this?” Anna-leis wondered, but decided against asking, as he might ruin the magic if he replied. Instead, she leaned into Clarence and breathed in his scent, Old Spice Cologne and deodorant.

There was nothing better than the way she melted in his arms, the way she felt safe and secure, something she deserved. Clarence would do everything in his power to protect Anna-leis. He gently set her on the blanket. As he realized she had left the throw, that she used to cover her lap, on the front passenger seat, she looked at him and said, “I don’t need it. If anyone comes and stares, let them stare.”

Clarence smiled, knowing what a significant step Anna-leis had taken. As she had become more comfortable, she was able to abandon the blanket that covered her lap so frequently.

“I love you, Anna-leis, and I am proud of you, I understand how difficult this is for you.”

I know it has been difficult for you, Clarence, but I want you to know something I am not sure you know: nothing that happened that day was your fault, nothing you could have prevented, but you have been there for me through it all, and I am grateful for it. There is no doubt in my mind that I love you, and I hope I never cause you to doubt that.

Anna-leis leant against him for an embrace as he smiled. Until they were married, they had vowed to keep their faith, their beliefs in tact. However, Anna-leis was now unsure of whether she must wait the months it would take her to learn to walk using prosthetics, or if it is better to make it happen sooner rather than later.

To Be Continued