Life can be wandering, can be lonely, but the soul must have something to return to

Since I was a child, I have always felt that New Year's Eve is the most like New Year's Eve only when I am waiting for it. My heart was filled with anticipation, joy, excitement, and imagination, thinking that on the right day, all these expectations, joy, excitement, and imagination would be doubled. But as soon as I opened my eyes early on the first day of the year, I found that they had all disappeared in my sleep on New Year's Eve. I was not happy, I was very unhappy. I was an obsessive child at the time, so I turned my pillow up hard every time, clutching the red envelopes, and watched them moor quietly not far away while telling myself that all those joys would fall from the sky when I opened them. But there was a layer of glass that couldn't splash hard at me from head to toe.

But I couldn't tell my mom that I didn't like Chinese New Year. I had to wave those red envelopes, jump out of bed and say "Happy New Year" to everyone, and hug everyone hard - because if I didn't, they would all put on a serious face and ask me. "Nan Nan, why aren't you happy?" -- Dad, Mom, my brother-in-law, sister, and long ago, more adults in the family would ask me this question together -- up to ten, I think, and that was when everyone in our family was alive. It seemed like it was a particularly serious matter that I was upset about. In their logic, whenever I didn't act happy, something bad must have happened. Mom would be the first to interrogate me, "Nan Nan, did you not finish your homework? Did you get scolded by the teacher in your study?" ...... As time passed, mom's question became, "Nan Yin, tell mom the truth, are you having an early love affair?" Now, it finally became, "You fought with Su Yuanzhi, didn't you? Don't lie to me, mom is an experienced person..."

In this way, without realizing it, to live up to the expectations, I became a person who was always happy. However, it was in this process of trying my best to make myself happy that I somehow found some real existent happiness. I think my brother was right, I was born with a love of getting uproarious. My brother always summed up many things in a particularly appropriate way, so I think that he should just be a teacher, although he is not as learned as my younger uncle.

She looked at me quietly and suddenly smiled, "Your husband, isn't he cute too?"

"I'll choke you to death!" I said calmly, then quickly put my hand on the back of her neck, and seeing her look calmer than I did, it became clear that she had no intention of laughing and fighting with me at this point. "It's only right that I marry a lovely man, but some people, why should I?"

She seemed to be thinking hard for a moment, then nodded in agreement.

"Shelby, you're following my sister's example." Now I was happy because for a moment I saw that we had another ally in the camp.

My sister's voice came up from downstairs unambiguously, "Zheng Nanyin, it's your delivery again! Hurry down and get it!" I ran while thinking: her voice is nice, especially when she raises her voice, it's even clearer. I wonder if the "tropical plants" often quarrel with her in the first place, is not also a bit related to this?

Mom put the old dining room table in the living room, which has been used for many years, following us to move several times, even if we bought a new dining room table that looks like that for the move, but Mom still can not throw away her old buddy. She said that the dumpling skins were best when rolled out on this foldable table. So the old table is now idle, existing only to roll dumpling skins, exuding a patriarchal air of not bothering to explain so much to anyone. I don't know why, maybe because the home is still too new, the smell of dumpling filling doesn't smell as powerful and unquestionable as it used to. Faced with a cluster of new badlands, even this scent is recognized.

Beibei is wearing a bloated fleece suit, orange in color, standing majestically inside the walker like a mountain climber. She was getting fatter and fatter, her tiny face almost drooping. Every time I see her, I have the urge to hold those two tender faces up for her and secure them a little. At the moment she is concentrating on fiddling with the colored wooden beads on the walker, her eyes are very focused - this is what makes Bei Bei so cute, the pair of thin eyes seems to be squeezed smaller and smaller by the expanding face, so they have to desperately make a very spirited look to show their presence. I used to follow my sister's lead and say that Bei Bei was ugly, but then I accidentally learned that when I was little, my sister used to say in the same tone, "Oh my God, Nan Nan is so ugly, what should I do?" -- Ever since then, I've felt that Bei Bei and I are both vulnerable and we should stick together a little.

"Bei Bei, Bei Bei -- don't count those broken beads, you can't read and count ......" I squatted down in front of her and talked to her very seriously.

Mom slowly laughed not far away, "Then you are the sister, you have to teach her well, our north so smart."

Yes, Bei Bei is an ice-cold smart kid. She called "mommy and daddy" when she was eight months old, and now she is not even a year old, she can already say some very simple words to express her meaning. For example, "delicious", "go play", "Bei Bei likes", when the house guests, Bei Bei performance speech is the best after party. When I see her expressing herself forcefully, I feel that there must be a God-like deity above this world.

Bei lifted her fat head, looked at me, then put her index finger in her mouth and bit into it, suddenly smiled and said with great certainty, "Beautiful."

"Thank you for praising me oh-" I finally couldn't resist, or reached out and pinched her cheeks, and then it occurred to me that she wasn't calling me pretty, she was answering me. I wanted her to stop fiddling with the beads, and she was explaining to me why she was doing that because they were pretty. --I cupped the other side of her face with my other hand and gently stretched her little face into a ha-ha mirror, "Bei Bei, are you that smart? You understand all my words, don't you?"

"Nan Yin," Chen Yan's voice sounded eagerly behind me, "don't pull her face like that, she will easily drool-" she said while putting a plate of washed fruit the on the coffee table. I secretly rolled my eyes: what do you mean by spoiling the fun? This is. Then Bei Bei was staring at me intently and rolling his eyes - he wasn't planning to study, was he? I then gave Bei Bei's furry head a few pats, saying: Although I hate the woman who gave birth to you, this has nothing to do with you. Seriously, what annoys me most about Chen Yan is not that she is particularly nervous about Bei Bei, the point is that ever since we all discovered that Bei Bei is getting smarter and smarter, she has been showing more and more obviously and justifiably every day how much she wants to protect Bei Bei - the subtext seems to be that because Bei Bei is good, Bei Bei should rightfully be cherished. This is very bad logic. No matter what the situation is, loving someone shouldn't be loved so snobbishly. Then I sighed softly and I knew that I was thinking again of the distant Martian Zheng Chenggong.

"Mom," I suddenly remembered something, "when you were out this afternoon, a man called and said he was a former classmate of yours. I asked him what he wanted, and he said it was just to pay his respects."

"Oh." Mom carefully lifted her arm and used her wrist to brush the broken hair that was in the way of her face, to avoid rubbing her hand full of flour on her forehead, "So did he say what his name was?"

"Yes." I tried my best to recall, "It seems to be called - Liu Dong. No, Wang Dong? No, Zhang Dong? Anyway, it's a very common last name ......"

Mom's expression was still blank, "I still can't think of anything."

My sister laughed aside and said mockingly, "Third Aunt, do you only have three buildings floating in front of you?"

Then several of them burst out laughing together. Mom shook her head with a helpless expression, "What can be done, it's useless to even after going to college, still be such a heartless silly girl."

Although my sister's tone made me uncomfortable, I still sincerely felt that what she said was funny. Bei cocked her little head, looked at all of our faces, and then also smiled chestily as if she understood that in this situation right now, it would not be wrong to follow the laugh.

Some things I do not know how to explain, such as now, I just inadvertently glanced out the window seems to be swept a cab, a moment, I feel in the heart or brain, something like a dragonfly, a subtle tremor. So I knew what had happened, it must be, there is no mistake, otherwise, there is no way to explain the heart of the ensuing kind of particularly strong certainty.

I jumped up and ran for the door. While running, I shouted out my premonition: "Brother is back, brother is back ...... that must be brother sitting in that car!" Not caring about the voices of everyone behind me, I saw the figure of my brother a second before the first syllable rushed to my throat there.

He opened the car door through the floor-to-ceiling window, he took the change the driver handed him from the driver's seat, he stepped out, he went around to the back and opened the back cover of the car, the angle of his body finally shifted a little as he lifted the huge backpack out, he had his hands free to stuff the change into his coat pocket - no sound, he did it all in a vacuum. I finally opened the floor-to-ceiling window with force, and the air came rushing in along with the sound of a distant car, "Brother-" I found my cheer timid, as if I wasn't ready, as if I was still more accustomed to the silence just now, as if I was still a little scared to greet his long-awaited voice.

He lifted his face and smiled. It was at this moment that I saw my sister. She was standing in the small halo of light coming through the room, and she didn't even know that her smile was a little stiff. The headlights of the cab were still flashing, and the driver, for some reason, was very responsive, not yet leaving. My brother and his backpack were stuck inside that beam of headlights, one standing in a yellow glow, the other in a miserable white glow. The bright, dark stretch of tarmac in between was ultimately dark like each was guarding a small planet.

My sister said, "You're back."

My brother said, "It's New Year's Eve, how can I not come back?"

My sister laughed, a hurried, self-deprecating kind of laugh, "It's good to be back." Then as if she didn't know where to put herself, she hesitated, but turned around and went into the house.

"Have you lost weight, dead rabbit?" He said so.

"To die, you curse me to death in the New Year?" I lifted my head and shouted back at him.

"Let me see if you've lost weight, Zheng Nanyin." He started to make that serious look again.

"How is that possible? I'm two kilos heavier, you don't want to mention which pot is not open, okay?" I looked at his cut cheeks and said seriously, "Brother, I miss you so much."

He exudes a strange aura around him. Perhaps people after a long trip will be like this. But this strange aura made me feel a little uneasy, let's say, I just rushed over to hug him tightly when I suddenly remembered - every time Su Yuanzhi came home from vacation, our first hug would also make me smell a kind of rusty smell belonging to a foreign country from his neck, and every time, I would be made a little shy by this strangeness I was a little shy as if we had only known each other for a short time. So I laughed at myself in my heart and said, "Zheng Nanyin, do you have any talent? You're already married and married, you know? You don't get nervous like you're cheating ......"