Level Twelve: Autophobia

"Because I'm a prick," Blake stared me down directly in the eye when he exaggerated the beginning of his sentence purposely, to rub it in my face that he had extremely good hearing when I talked, if he wanted to. Talk about selective. He laughed it off, each of us aware that when I'd said that it wasn't serious. "I wasn't gonna tell you that I was impressed, but I have to say — automatic acceleration? For a level like that? Deeply impressive. It didn't even get to finish and that's like shutting someone up before they got a shot at their comeback. Best feeling ever."

His expression gloom-ified suddenly, and in his blank state, he backed up until his legs hit the legs of his chair, calling out to him to sit. "Love's to credit for that, obviously. I've only heard and only wished of a love that powerful. When I got ahold of it, it slipped right through my fingers, and all I could do was watch it fall."

He nodded to himself slowly, the nod of forced-acceptance. The kind that you do just to keep you distracted from shedding tears. "Shyrene was always right, wasn't she? She told me to trust you guys a little more, and I should've. I don't get why I didn't. From near to the beginning if not it, I knew you two were destined, and I also knew that love is an unbeatable force, but I didn't connect the dots. The two of you were born for this. She was always in good hands. Heck, I was too if it came to that. So I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."

"Why apologize? You have every reason to feel the way that you felt. Entrusting someone else with the life of someone you love, which is essentially what this game has been; when has it ever been easy? Do you think it's possible that it ever will be?" I grazed my fingertips along his knee, just so he knew I was there in whatever way he needed me to be; physically, emotionally, mentally, any of it. He looked up at me, smiling a little, but the sadness in it remained. I wanted to comfort him. "Because I don't. Love is a risky thing, and having a hard time to find the people who will lift them up and let them live the best life possible should be hard. It shows you care."

"What you wanted was the best for her. That's what counts," Camdyn pitched in. "You've done everything right. Shyrene has had the freedom to be the woman that she wants to be. She has the confidence, resilience, and power that any human, man or woman would envy. Part of the reason is because you let her be that way. If you tied her down in anyway, she might not be the same. She's a fighter, so it wouldn't be surprising if she fought even you if you became an obstacle, but you never became a barricade. Not only is she comfortable in her own skin. She's empowered."

"And guess what? Love is to credit for that too. This is not just about us. 'Shyrene and Blake' is a real thing. You're not imagining it, and the story is wonderful. Don't underestimate it," I added in. With a sassy point to my left hand's ring finger, I saw a glow return in him that would only come around when she was. It wasn't as bright, but it was there, for sure. I couldn't miss it. "Plus, when you both have rings on your fingers and you're living under the same roof on earth, you'll be beside a woman whose always right, daily. I'd say it makes you quite the lucky man."

"We're coming for you, Shy," he said faintly, giggling to himself. "Just a little bit longer and we'll be there. I'll be there."

LEVEL TWELVE LOADING COMPLETED

AUTOPHOBIA, FEAR OF BEING ALONE

COURSE WILL SOON START

TEN SECOND COUNTDOWN IN PROGRESS

"Is it just me or it's too quiet?" I asked, huddling myself into the corner of the room. I played with strands of my hair to pass the time, but something was off. I didn't know how much time would have to pass before anything would happen, and with how this world has been, the easier things appear to be, it's nearly a given that it's not going to end up that way. Illusions are too popular here, and I'm tired of being deceived.

"It is. What could this mean? We've been sitting here for how long now? It feels like at least an hour and we've gotten nothing. No instruction, no memory-triggers. Nothing," Camdyn explained his side of the story, which matched up so perfectly I was glad I wasn't alone in my perspective, but at the same time, queasy. If he thought the same thing, that means that this wasn't me overthinking. This was a logical thought that somewhat had evidence.

"I have to get out of here," I decided, feeling cramped in, like leaving this area would grant me fresh air. It wouldn't, but the act felt freeing in itself, and it was my last resort.

I headed for the door, which was shockingly unlocked. The boys footsteps bee-lined messily behind me, by the time I'd already stepped out, and I could hear their voices too. I can't tell if they were warnings that I'd made a bad decision or if they were simply asking that I'd wait, but I was too caught up in other things to hear them.

Outside, was this dashing array of colored lights like those that'd accompany ornaments on a tree, and it stretched out for miles out in one direction. It felt like the right thing to do was follow it. Anyone would feel they were being pointed in that direction, wouldn't they?

Up in the distance was a man's figure, and I was taken aback by it at first. Meeting people in levels was for the most part, not to my advantage, and I knew that if I was going to continue walking forward toward it, I'd have to be cautious. The closer the boys footsteps got behind me, the faster I walked toward it, trusting that I had the backup I'd need if something went wrong, but when I got near enough that I could make the outline out, I knew I'd have a hard time to accept if things didn't go right. Not when I knew his face to be so kind and loving.

"Joey?" I asked, in hopes I'd reach his attention. He turned toward me, his face brightening like a chandelier. As beautiful as it was, and as much as I missed my late step father, I was bothered to see him at first. His gestures were exactly the same. His smile, the way he looked at me, the poise he had when his body shifted his weight to see where I was standing — there was nothing different than the real him. Even with Soren there were certain abnormalities, but he was a mirrored-reflection of what I remember.

It was painful to be supposedly making him up in my head, because then I'd have to say goodbye all over again, and I've barely managed to do that once. Really, I didn't manage. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After everything I've been through here, I'd still say that.

"My Little Reyes!" He said, enthusiastic. His arms wrapped around me, so tightly like the way he used to. "I heard that you announced yourself as a Reyes like I wished for you to do. I can't believe you really did that! That memory was stored directly in my department of work so I couldn't miss it. It warmed my heart. I'm so proud of my beautiful daughter and now everyone knows you're mine."

My mouth fell open. "A-are you? Re—?"

"Real?" He completed my sentence before I could. "Yes, I am real, Ellie. I'm not just another product of your imagination like you've been facing. I came to your mind after I died, like they said I'd be granted for having the rain power last generation. It's lonesome but overall pretty heavenly. It's a quiet second chance at life."

"Why not Ethan? He's your son, and he inherited your power. I'm technically on the side of your enemy. Wouldn't it make more sense—?"

"It doesn't matter what makes more sense, Anak. I chose you. You're my daughter just as much as he's my son, step-daughter or not, but I got to hold him on the day he was born. You were introduced to me years later, and I missed out on time with you, so this is where I wanted to be." He explained. He didn't stutter or hesitate, and had his own conviction of the words he had said, like he's had them spinning like a record on a record player over and over against. "Ethan is still young anyway. He has a lot to learn, and being inside of his head could be a lot. I know that you can handle it, and I had a feeling maybe I'd see you one day."

"I-I can't believe it's really you," my eyes began to flood, staining my cheeks until they were dampened.

"Oh, precious, don't cry," Joey insisted, wiping them away with his knuckle. "It's been years darling, I know, but now that you've seen me you can be certain I was always there for you."

"I knew you were somehow—." I started, but I couldn't finish. We each flinched because of the dreadful sirens flashing red and screaming urgent alarms from everywhere. There were so many of them that we were painted in the watercolor of the shade of blood, and the lights that guided me here were blinded out and overpowered.

"Wow, Ellie. I was beginning to fear that this level would never get over, but now everything's escalating pretty quickly," said that husky voice from overhead. "The concept of this level is simple. You get to choose who to take back with you to earth. The other person will remain here in your head and will be pronounced dead back home. Any questions?"

I gulped. "Between who? There aren't that many optio—."

"Correct. There aren't that many options, so who do you think?" The voice paused, leaving me room to think. I refused to. I didn't want to, but my state of awareness on the matter couldn't be left alone. "Of course between Joey, your step-father and Camdyn, your boyfriend."

"Wh-what?"

"Oh no. Ell, I need you to listen very carefully to me, alright? Don't make me regret that I put my trust in you again. This question does have a right and a wrong," Blake spoke from behind me, his tone coming out like he were guiding me through something step by step, but the words itself didn't give me one, two, three, and I wasn't prepared for what he said, I had no idea how to digest it as the problem right in front of me I'm facing right now. "Whoever you choose will get to go back to earth regardless of what happens to us, but awakening what's already dead, would take a life, which we only have one left of, and it's game over for all of us. If we had two it'd work out, but the only way to get to earth is if you choose Camdyn. You choose Joey, you die, and all who are relying on your head for life right now die too. Do you hear me when I say that?"

I heard him, alright, but the ideas floating in my head, I couldn't help them. Even if I was gone, and even if I died on the table in real life in the middle of this surgery, it couldn't bother me. I saw how the family mourned Joey's death and how they'd go to any extent to bring him back to life. My other half-brothers besides Ethan, despised me for majority of their life, but Joey was loved by his children from day one. Sometimes they failed to show it, but they loved their father so much.

Based on the love, it didn't feel like an eye for an eye. It feels like bringing him back was much more valuable than me. I want them to be happy.

Blake grew increasingly concerned, and had continue being talking when I couldn't figure out how to answer him. "Please Ell, we worked so hard to get this far. You can't drop everything and give up now because of this. It's not worth it. Giving opportunity to the dead, it's impossible to do for most people, and for those that it's possible for, it has consequences. You can't really be willing to go through those consequences for this? It affects you, Camdyn, Shyrene, me? We did all of this for a dead-end?"

I shut my eyes, avoiding eye contact with anyone. "Camdyn, Blake, I'm so so sorry for failing you. I'm sorry."

"Hey, Ell! No!" They both yelled out, but they were covered over by the voice from up top, once more, that I couldn't truly hear them. I mean, yes, I heard it, but did it hit me? Barely, if any.

"Does that mean we have your final decision, Ellie Reyes?" The man high up from us questioned, that turned attention from anything else.

I nodded. "Yes, I choose my father to go back to earth."

"Alright. We will finalize your decision Miss Reyes. Camdyn, do you have any words?"

I sobbed insanely and uncontrollably, but weirdly, Camdyn appeared to be fine after recovering from his yell. He reacted to everything better than I did, like he understood; like it was okay.

"Yes, I do," he began, facing me. "I wasn't planning on telling you this, but if this is the fate I have, then I think you should know, especially because I have nothing to lose, telling you now." He paused briefly to swallow his saliva. "I heard what you said back in level five. I must've passed out or something, and when I woke up you were saying that you don't know what to do, about us. I didn't tell you because I didn't know either. I've never understood so much about what goes on in your head, and even after I've been inside it I know I don't understand everything but one that is set in stone. As selfish as it might be I wish I would've told you that you're supposed to be with me. That we're supposed to be together, because then I could say I spent a few more moments as your boyfriend. My biggest regret, Ellie Reyes, is that when I lost you, I wasn't quick enough to win you back. I hate that I hesitated. I hate that I set you free when you were supposed to be mine."

I sniffled. I didn't know how to change my mind or how to heed the warnings I've been given. Having to choose between two people you care about so much; it's not right, but I had to, and I did, probably too quickly to be able to comprehend what I was doing.

"Goodbye, Camdyn. I'm sorry. I love you."

__ __ __ __ __

A THIRD PLAYER HAS REQUESTED

ACCESS TO JOIN SERVER

LOADING...

ACCESS ACCEPTED

PLAYER THREE HAS JOINED LEVEL TWELVE

REGISTERED AS: SPECIAL GUEST OF IMMACULATE POWER, IN LINE OF THE ROYAL BLOOD

PLEASE PROCEED

"How scathing," Blake said ignoring the strange words written above, his lips frowned and his fists lifting up from his sides, up beside his face. "I give my trust, finally, this time without being reluctant, and I end up regretting it. She just told me before this started that I could see Shyrene again, and I'm coming up to it, and look! I can't. I should've known she'd pull a mirage-stunt. She's the sun itself, these are the things she's capable of. This is who she is." He didn't even try to make it to when I couldn't hear him, and I knew I deserved this. I was wrong, and yet it felt so right when the opportunity arose.

With speech stopped, he became distracted by the expression Camdyn must've had on his face. He wasn't facing my direction, so I didn't know what that was. I wasn't expecting good things since he's kept up with that reputation long enough for the realness to shimmer on in, but it must've been hanging in there based on how the conversation was picked back up. "Shouldn't you be more pressed than you are? Shouldn't you be freaking out? Why are you so calm? Why are you acting like this is okay? You do realize—."

"That I'm going to die? That we are going to die?" Camdyn finished for him. By the way he said it, it's as if he's already accepted the way I wrote out his life after I forced him accidentally to come here in the first place, and he wasn't disturbed by it. I had the same questions for him as Blake had.

"Yeah, I know all of that," he went on, in line to answering the long list of questions. I put every ounce of myself into listening to it from a small distance between us. "But I also know Ell. Her life hasn't been easy, and honestly, if I was faced with my mom coming back to us, I don't know what I would do. My dad's happiness would be surreal, and that's exactly how Ell thinks. Not about herself, but her family. That's exactly what's going through her head when she was presented with this. I'm sure of that.

"I don't think I have the right to intervene with her decision. I can disagree, agree, or have an opinion, but that doesn't mean that I can tell her what to do. It's common to say that you should never make a woman choose between you and someone else and to give someone up because of your own insecurities. Usually, that's her guy best friend that you feel jealous of, or something like that, and I guess that is different than this, but in the end, how different is it really? She's willing to die for her values. Whether her values are mine or not, I love them like I love her.

"No, I don't want her dead, and I don't want either of us to go down with her. Of course, I want her to continue living happily, but I think she needs to do what she feels is best, if the end for me is now or later. It's a selfless act. What this is coming down to is choosing between her family and us, and isn't family important? Can I intrude on that? How can I? I want to save her, I want to save us all, but what do I have on me that'll give me the authority?"

I sobbed muffled tears into my hand, avoiding making any noise. Blake scoffed, looking off somewhere as long as it wasn't Camdyn. "Even with all our lives on the line you choose her selflessness? You want her to die heroic. As long as she's heroic then it's okay. Is that what you're saying?"

"No, that's not—."

"I'd like to revoke the previous decision," a new voice said. Or new for this layer of dreaming, is more like it. I knew who it was once I heard him, and the first thing I wanted to do was tease him for knowing such deep words when he's such a young boy. Ethan, my youngest half-brother, the carrier of the rain. He's here. I knew he'd come if I needed him. It took him longer than I was hoping, but as always he came through. He'd always do that for me, as I would for him.

"Ate Rie, take Camdyn back to earth. I'm sorry I didn't support you before but you're the only one that can bring him back, and I think I was wrong. You two are lovely. I'll bring Papa with me, I have rights to do that, so don't worry about him. We'll be complete again all thanks to you because you made it," he said, hugging me tightly, his face buried into my shirt. "It's been 29 hours on earth since you went under. You have one more hour of surgery left. You can last that long can't you?"

"Of course I can, love." I promised, hugging him just as right. I raised my hand briefly for the attention of someone up that controlled this, before I put it back around him. It might've been just shy of thirty hours that I haven't seen him, but dang, did I miss him.

"I changed my mind. I'm taking Camdyn back to earth."

LEVEL TWELVE PASSED

GAME HAS BEEN COMPLETED

IN ITS ENTIRETY

PLEASE RECEIVE YOUR CONGRATULATIONS

FROM THE QUEEN