Level One Redone: Catoptrophobia

"Level one," a scratchy voice said from somewhere above us. It spoke like it was on my side, in the sense that it was guiding me with important information, but the sound itself; it'd be a lie to say it didn't give me the creeps. It was as if we'd become boomerangs, shot back to the location the level had began, and as if it never happened.

When it said we'd be staring over, it wasn't joking.

I searched the room for Camdyn, after he'd just taken a beating to find not a mark on his body, Shyrene and Blake fully healthy, but this time with one less of Shyrene. The clan of both of them were spread out unevenly, the missing one of her evident. Though I think I understood how the entire life-system worked in this world, it was hard to fully comprehend. It's not everyday that this concept presents itself to you. "How in the world are you all okay? I mean, I'm glad, but how the heck does this work?" I asked, to confirm what I was thinking.

"You're like Queen of a Chess game, Ellie." Blake blurted out, without much thought, but it's what intrigued my thoughts to try to get somewhere with it. It must've been easy for him to read I wanted more of an explanation because he continued without me having to ask. "I can toss myself aside, sacrifice my lives until I don't have any remaining, and injure myself again and again, and we'll be okay the next round, with just a slight loss like there now only being five Shyrenes, a perfect example. We can throw ourselves out to protect you until we don't have anything left, and it's worth it because your injuries stay until the game is over. We need you in good condition."

"Does that not bother you?" I said gently, insecure to mention it with how bold and outspoken they were. I stood up on my tip toes like the extra height would make me feel more grounded, but it didn't help whatsoever, and even more, I was in too deep to back out. "Shyrene, you're full on aware that Camdyn just stabbed out your guts, probably way more than he needed to, and you just simply don't care? How many times did he stab you?"

"39." She puckered her lips out, scanning the air up above her like she's see something around that would make her change her mind. Of course, she was pretty glued to the thought she had, enough that she didn't need the validation that came from saying it out loud in a heart beat. She took her time. "It was traumatic, but I think he did what he had to do. There aren't that many options when you go into that state of mind at such a crucial time. It could be his decision that gets us to the end of this."

"So you're saying it's my fault?"

"No, no. I didn't say that! We're all playing by the rules here." Shyrene waved her hand frantically in front of her, as she denied my accusation, "This is new for you, and it's normal to be pressed about new scenarios. We've all been there, so I fully understand that. What I don't know, is what you saw, and I don't want you to tell me because it'll get you worked up again. What I do know is fear can be fought with comfort and reassurance, so try to lead your thoughts to somewhere new, so this demon of yours can't intrude. Maybe connect mirrors to something besides a fear. What Camdyn did was to help you, and Blake and I can tolerate that if it'll save us all. We just need your cooperation above all."

I crossed my arms, unable to be frustrated with how smoothly she changed the topic, especially because that change was looking out for me, which somehow made me more angry, in some way or another but not to when anyone could see it. "So you're trying to tell me to enter this level with a clean slate?" I mumbled, my eyes taped to my shoelaces. I could feel the movement of her head admitting a yes, though I didn't bring myself to say it. "After you just watched what went down, you believe I'm capable of doing that?"

"I do believe in you, Ellie Reyes." Camdyn said firmly as I was doing what I could to control my breathing, and it was so out of nowhere it caused major shock, but surprisingly, I came out of it with a smile. He hasn't been able to do anything like that for what feelings like long, yet I couldn't kick it away. It could be what keeps me standing. It could be the start of a foundation, and though it was almost irritating to have to open my arms to that thought, I did anyway, for the sake of getting this over with. We're a team after all and otherwise we're all gonna go down together and it's going to be my fault. "You're a lot stronger than they usually come. I mean that. I might not understand this well yet by experience, but my turn will come and I'll pass it fine, because you did it first."

"Start," that voice came back, one additional chill down my spine, but one that felt weaker than before. If that was because I was truly feeling more determined, or if I was getting numb after experiencing it once, who could possibly know if I didn't?

SCANNING BOTH PLAYERS FOR CATOPTROPHOBIA...

LOADING 99%

CATOPTROPHOBIA DETECTED! THE GAME WILL NOW PROCEED!

"I get it. It's me." I tried to giggle to release any tension in the others if they had it and more myself than anything, but I took the moment the most to search my surroundings a little more in depth. It was overall too dark to notice any sort of reflection, but the light did shine a little brighter enough that every so often I could see my face from every direction, looking back at me. That flicker of light revealed a face that got braver and braver each time, and I considered that a good sign.

I sat down on the floor before I knew the pain would strike, so I wouldn't take as much of a fall. As the switch of darkness to a second of my face staring back at me continued teasing among one another, I got increasingly dizzy, suffering a blur that only got blurrier. Pain played with me first, and I decided to let it be, laying fully into the only surface this room would offer me, until it'd take over, because I knew darn well there was nothing I could do.

"I'm so fricking ugly. I hate myself. I hate the stretch marks on my thighs, my eyelashes that are way too short, the birthmark that comes down my arm, the scars of trauma and of bad memories, how my hair is neither curly or straight but some knot head in between— the fact that I'm of mixed blood and I don't belong anywhere. Everything, I hate it. I'm disgusting. God wasted his time making me."

I talked in a whisper, mumbling alone to myself. One tear fell from my eye, but I wiped it away in case anyone was home. I had been staring at the mirror in the living room, wanting to puke with how I saw myself. Do I need to lose weight? Plastic surgery, maybe? I should start dieting, and achieve looking like an actual human being instead of whatever I am now. In the movies, why is everyone so damn perfect? On the media, why do their curves head in just the right way? What am I?

"Ellie. We can't lose two lives to level one. We don't know how many levels there will be, but all we know is they get harder. We can't waste everything now! Peace. Happy thoughts, darling!" Blake was speaking urgently, but I could tell his presence was backing away, one step at a time. Each step seemed to excel in speed in comparison to the last, going from a hesitant turtle to a cheetah with a mission in only a few, but when the mission came he didn't leave if be. He was off chasing it. That had to mean he was feeling his bad side coming on like him and Shyrene somehow do, and time was counting down for Camdyn and I if we wanted to get out of here.

These are red flags. I know they are. They've gotta be.

"What's wrong, Ate Rie? I see blue again. You're sad." Ethan, my youngest brother, questioned me, his feet shuffling across the floor in his socks, each never lifting from the floor to travel nearer to where I was. He held a red lollipop in his hand, and he'd lick it every so often, so innocently with so much future ahead of him.

"It's nothing, love. I'm okay. You must be seeing things."

Camdyn began to skim his finger across my skin, staring at my forehead, down the bridge of my nose, and they remained at my lips for a couple of seconds, simply sitting there without any action besides it. It felt like another memory of its own coming back to me, at the times that were good between us that I've started to hold a grudge for recently, but at the same time it kept me awakened enough from the past I was falling into, reminding me what I was here for and what I was doing. "We're going to get out of this level, and soon enough we'll be at the end of all of it. I can feel it." He said.

"How could you possibly be so sure?" I asked, so breathily that I doubted anyone could understand. I could see this sad smile float out of him for a minor second, as he turned to the nearing monsters that were coming nearer to us, and eventually got up to fight his battles as he's stepped up for.

"I just know." He said, with so much certainty it was probably sharp enough to cut a person.

Ethan situated himself straight at the mirror, his shorter height next to mine making him look so much more naive than he really was. He was eyeing himself straight in the face, his lips upturned. As he found my eyes in the reflection, the happy expression was deeper into his face, like it could stay there forever. "I think you look beautiful, Ate. You're the most beautiful person in this world."

"Oh, please, don't lie. I'm a product of unwedded parents and I've always been known to look different. I'm not beautiful at all, but you're quite the gem to say such sweet things to me. Is there something you want, brother?" I booped his nose, bending my knees until I could reach his level.

"Yes, there's something I want, Ate." He nodded, grasping my body and hugging me tightly like he never intended to let go even if tomorrow were to pass and the next day, and the next. It was cute, but his words made me laugh before he went further. "I want you to realize that half sister or not, you're still the very best sister ever to me, and that your face is one that's so different that everyone wants it. It's a beauty to die for."

"Weirdo." I laughed, flicking his forehead, but not enough that it would hurt. My heart was fluttering that such a young boy could find it in him to care this much about his sister, especially when we had different fathers and lived in a country with a judge-y culture. He had the chance to be influenced in so many terrible ways, by his own full-blooded older brothers in fact, but here he was supporting me. "What TV show did you get that from?"

He giggled, sticking out his tongue to prove his refusal in telling me. It was evidence in itself that those words weren't from him because of it. "I love you, Ate Rie."

"I love you too, Ethan."

LEVEL ONE PASSED, LEVEL TWO LOADING

PLEASE WAIT...

LIVES REMAINING ELEVEN