Lemonade Isn’t Meant for Wine Glasses

News flash, news flash! Come hear, one and all. For the upcoming spring and summer, you’ll want to be free to let loose and enjoy all the outdoor festivities. One thing, however, must be kept in mind. One thing must be known, above all else:

Lemonade isn’t meant for wine glasses!

This might sound small, even silly… but proper matching of beverage to cup is essential. Tens of people every year break their wine glasses because they were using them for something else. Why? Well, if you’re using the glass for a mundane beverage, you can forget that they’re fragile.

I know many of you are wondering, “wouldn’t more glasses be broken when the person IS drinking wine?” Surprisingly, no.

You see, when people are drinking wine out of wine glasses, they feel the effects… and therefore remember what they’re drinking. So, between that and concern for their own clumsiness, people are more careful with the glass.

That’s why lemonade (and iced tea, fruit punch, et cetera) are served in tall, sturdy glasses. Almost no one worries about spilling a bit of that liquid, so why would it matter how the glass is treated?

Wine glasses are narrower and shallower for a reason. Just under half as tall, just over 1/2 inch less in diameter… and just about 1/4 the volume. Not only is it practical to drink less of it, but safer too.

That’s the general rule, with all beverages. So, a lot of you are probably like, “Ok, but I didn’t see my first bar yesterday.” Yeah, I sense you out there… eager to point out the many exceptions.

Well, it holds true with champagne and the famous “flute” shape. It holds true with the Cosmo and the Martini, with different smaller glasses, however. It holds true with Kahlua and Liqueur. It holds true with many others we can’t think of right now.

But what about rum-based cocktails like the Mai Tai? What about Vodka Cran, Vodka Soda, and the like? And… especially, especially… what about Long Island Iced Tea?!

Ok yes, you’re very clever to notice all those. The reason most of them are served in a lemonade glass is because they’re so heavily mixed with a mundane beverage that the ratio pushes the alcohol back. And yeah, before anyone asks… that’s the case no matter how strong that particular alcohol is.

Then what about the strongest mixed drinks? Well, it’s basically the same result for the opposite reason.

You see, once the end product surpasses a certain strength, the concern finally does become about tipsy-ness. You’re WELL aware of what you’re drinking, but also can’t be trusted to hold things carefully. So… at least a lemonade glass stands a chance.

This is also why sipping spirits like Scotch go with something thick-bottomed. It may be smaller, but also sits on a full inch of solid glass. That reminds you that you shouldn’t be picking it up much, but also protects itself if ever dropped.

So, could you use a Scotch glass for lemonade? Maybe… but why weigh your hand down during a care-free barbecue or pool party? A picnic would be practical for that, since most of it takes place on the ground. You’d want to make sure you and your guest(s) aren’t close enough to any flying balls or frisbees though…dogs or geese… because it could be vulnerable from the side or above. It also seems to be unnecessary unless you’re trying to impress with a fancier spread.

Well, this was an example-heavy way of telling you all one thing: match your beverage with the right glass. It might seem like bars and restaurants just do this just to portray uniqueness with each type of drink… but you’ve heard the real reason now. There’s a practical purpose for each type of vessel. So, keep your drink ware safe and choose them correctly.

And again… for God’s sake… lemonade isn’t meant for wine glasses!