Late Night

“Long night.”

“I’m not used to being out this late.”

“How you like it?”

“It’s nice- warm outside right now. It’s not the same as being in my bed, but…”

“Yeah, I think you spend a little too much time in there.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You told me before that you used to be in the house by 9 and out by at least 10:30.”

“Yeah…?”

“That’s too damn early! I know people that get up for work at 6 in the morning, and THEY don’t even go to sleep like that! What the Hell are you going in so early for!?!”

“I like to sleep- is that a crime?”

“It depends on who you’re asking…”

“Well, I’m asking you right now, so…?”

“So…”

“I like my bed- I don’t have any problems when I’m in it. No scheduling, no need for a sense of order, no one looking at me, questioning what I do or judging my night schedule.”

“Oh, so it’s your safety net zone!”

“Safety net zone?”

“Yeah, a place where you ain’t gotta worry about shit! Like, if you were in bed right now, you’d only be worried about your own thoughts, but now you’ve got me out here giving you reasons to worry. Like ‘Oh, why is this guy out here talking to me like that? Why’s he got me out here thinking about my nightly routine and all the shit I do throughout the day?’. Like, am I wrong?”

“...”

“Yeah no, I see it in your face, I’m not wrong.”

“What, I didn’t even say anything!”

“You don’t have to! I can feel it in your energy, I’m not wrong!”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Mmh, you’re saying whatever, but you don’t MEAN whatever.”

“What are you talking about? Why are you talking like this?”

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

“I am NOT defensive!”

“Your shoulders are tense. Your whole body’s tense. And you can’t look at me. You’re still avoiding eye contact. Look, I’m out here nearly every night, looking down at that water and up at those stars, and I’m feeling like the reasons I stay out here are a lot of the same reasons that you be in your bed WAY before you need to be. Am I wrong?”

“...”

“Let me ask you again- am I wrong?”

“...”

“Look at me”

“No…”

“Come on”

“...”

“You be worrying about your own thoughts?”

“...”

“What you thinking about right now?”

“...”

“What you feeling?”

“...Nervous…”

“Why?”

“Cause, I’ve never talked like this before, I’m not used to feeling this…having someone talking to me like this, it’s…”

“Is it too much?”

“...No.”

“Would you tell me if it is?”

“...”

“What is it then?”

“It’s late…”

“Do you wanna head back?

“No”

“What do you want then?”

“You- I wanna stay out here with you, for right now, I don’t-”

“You still nervous?”

“...Maybe…”

“Why?”

“...I don’t know”

“You do- you just don’t wanna say!”

“...”

“Do I make you nervous?”

“Oh my God!”

“That’s not a no!”

“Fuck you!”

“Oh right now, out in public?”

“...I’m not used to talking to people like this, out in public, when I’m feeling something or thinking something. Not used to someone telling me they KNOW something’s wrong or listening like this or…anything, like that”

“I see”

“Yeah”

“Yeah, well, you better start getting used to it”

“Huh?”

“I told you I’m out here nearly every night- you think that was just small talk? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me honestly that you don’t prefer this right now to your bed?”

“...”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So, tell me when you wanna leave.”

“...”

“You gonna tell me?”

“...Yeah…”