Jane

"Did you find anything?" His gruff voice scratched my ears. I turned around as I grabbed a package from a shelf nearby and tossed it to him. "A pack of razors?"

"Your facial hair is starting to scare the children more than your eyepatch. I think they have been through enough already."

He chuckled, "Well there you might be right." Then his face became serious, "Any food or medicine?"

"You know the answer, do I really need to say it? We ran out of medicine a long time ago and we stopped finding any real food a week and a half ago. We will be lucky if we find a can of beans before we head back to camp."

"Well, we need to keep trying, keep looking." He paused. "Maybe try the north quadrant again?"

"We can't keep lying to ourselves, Patchy. We can't keep lying to the tribe. There is no medicine here, there is no food here, there is no hope here. We need to move everyone out…" I pleaded but was cut off by the sound of a siren in the distance.

He brushed past me to look out the window. "Packer and Danas must be arriving back to camp with the migrants we spotted." He turned back to me. "I am going to head out to meet them… but you should take your time; because hope or not, the people still need a leader. You need to pull yourself together." He put his hand on my shoulder briefly before running out the door.

He was right though. The people need a leader.

"YOU ARE THE MONSTER!!" The screaming from camp echoed in my head as I snapped back to reality. I must have zoned out while walking back. I began running as fast as I could back to camp. "YOU SAID YOU'D HELP US! THAT YOU WOULD SAVE US! BUT YOU DIDN'T SAVE HIM, YOU LET HIM DIE OUT THERE!"

"What's going on?" I questioned Packer as I burst through the gates into camp.

Packer said. "While we were on our way back, we were blindsided by an Abort. Danas was able to kill it, but not before it knocked out the caravan's leader and…”

“YOU ARE NOT A HERO! YOU ARE A MURDER!” The cries of the woman yet again seemed to cut through everything. I ran over to her as she was getting closer to Danas. “DO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY? YOU ARE A MONSTER!” She lifted her hand as she went to slap Danas, but I stepped between them and took the hit.

The whole world seemed to fall silent as I felt the sting her hand left on my cheek. And her face, the face of a woman so hurt and angry just a moment ago was overcome with shock and remorse. Her hand was still raised, and she didn’t say anything, she just looked at me. I took her hand in mine and lowered it back to her side.

"Packer!" I hollered as I stepped away from her. He came running. "Please get everyone from the caravan some food and water and assign them some bunks. Let them get settled and then we can show them around tonight." I turned back to Danas and motioned her to follow me. "I'll take Danas to find out what happened."

Everyone dispersed from the center of camp, and everything seemed to go back to normal. Except her. She was still standing there like she was frozen, and the whole camp was moving around her. But I kept walking. Danas followed me to the office.

After Danas had left, there was a knock at the door. It began to open and Patchy peeked his head through. "May I come in?"

"Only if you want to tell me where you have been hiding?" He came into the room as I spoke, but his face looked puzzled. "You missed all the excitement of the new arrivals."

"When I got back to camp earlier, I spotted Danas carrying an injured woman as Packer was trying to get everyone inside the camp. After I helped Danas carrying the woman inside, I asked Packer what happened. He told me they were attacked, and they left some supplies behind. I went out to gather what I could."

"That was reckless!" I raised my voice.

"You said it today. We need more food, we need medicine. We can barely take care of who we have let alone anyone else, remember? I had no choice, I needed to salvage the supplies."

"You went alone to a place where there was an Abort attack. Not even sure if there was anything that could help us." I chastised him.

"You would have done the same. And you know it." As he scolded me there was a knock on the door.

"We will discuss this later." I said to him before I turned to the door. "Come in."

Packer opened the door. "Jane would like to talk to you."

"Jane?"

The door swung open as the woman from earlier walked in. "I want to apologize for the slap. It wasn't meant for you."

"She slapped you?" Patchy said in awe. "That was the excitement?" He just laughed as he turn to the women. "I can't believe you slapped her! That is a bold and dangerous move."

"Care to compose yourself Patchy?" I glared at him. I turned back to the woman who stood before me. "You're Jane, right?"

"Yes. And you are a Stillborn, aren't you? You move in front of me way to fast and barely budged when I hit you. It wasn't normal." Patchy, Packer, and I just stood in silence, but she continued. "Everyone has heard stories about Stillborns but I thought they were just myths. The stories are true, aren't they? You are real. What are your names?"

"Not names, more like identifiers." Packer cut in. "The ugly guy is Patchy and I am Packer."

"His name is Patchy because of the eyepatch obviously. That is very clever and original." Jane snickered sarcastically. "And your name is Packer because of the ginormous backpack you are lugging around?"

"That and because he's a packrat." Patchy joked.

"And Danas is named that because?" Jane inquired.

"Bandanas." I stated plainly.

"That's right. She has two bandanas, one tied around each arm, so that makes sense.” She stepped toward me. “And your name is?"

"L." I took a step back. "Like the letter."

"What does it stand for?" She took another step closer to me.

"You know she never told us. Most days it stands for Leader. But lately it's been more like Leave Me Alone" Packer laughed.

"Been saving that one for a while, have you?" chuckled Patchy.

"Alright, now that introductions are out of the way. I gave Danas the night off, so Patchy and Packer you guys will be on first shift night duty. And I will take second and third. Jane, go back to your people and help them get acclimated. First night is usually the roughest especially after what you saw today." I paused and looked around the room. "Now everyone get some rest." The boys shuffled out of the room, but Jane just stood there staring at me.

"I would like to apologize to Danas. She didn't deserve to be yelled at, but I was in shock. I got knocked out trying to usher everyone to safety and when I woke up, they told me Ben died trying to save me. He was new to our caravan, but he was a good kid." She explained. "It should have been me."

"Don't say that." I paused. "Danas told me how brave you were and willing to risk your life for those people, your people. You are a good leader, Jane." I put my hand on her shoulder. "And those people you were willing to risk your life for, they deserve a good leader." She looked up at me. I had stared at her before, but I didn't notice how blue her eyes were. I caught myself getting lost staring at her. I took my hand off her shoulder "Why don't you get some rest?"

She looked back at me before she walked out the door.

I was able to sleep before starting my night shift, but I felt like I got no rest. I was looking out into the distance from our watchtower when I heard footsteps behind me. "You know you shouldn’t sneak up on people during the apocalypse Jane.” I turned my head to her. “It’s not very nice.”

“You are pretty funny L. I am happy you have a sense of humor.” She walked up and stopped right next to me. “From up here the world seems so small… Is this how you spotted us?”

I raised my hand and pointed. “Patchy saw some smoke two nights ago. He told Danas so she went off to find you and made Packer come because he has a way with people.”

“So why isn’t he the leader?” She looked at me intently.

I brought my hand down and let out a little chuckle. “Because he is an idiot.” I looked at her. “That boy has a great heart but not a lot of brain cells.” We both laughed.

“And what about Danas? I haven’t heard her even speak.”

“She can’t.” Jane looked confused. “Well not that she can’t, she used to talk a little. But she is deaf and after Band died, she just stopped.”

“Who is Band?” Jane leaned in as if to hear every word.

“Her brother.” I looked into her eyes. “She used to be just Dana. They each had one of the matching bandanas. Band said it was in case one of them got lost, people would know they were meant to be together.” I looked away. “When an Abort got him about two years ago, she started wearing his bandana too. She also stopped talking and started trying to save everyone. Patchy and I have tried our best to learn to sign to communicate with her, but believe it or not, this has not been the most conducive learning environment.” I flashed a smile as I kept looking forward.

“I get Packer and Danas, but why isn’t Patchy in charge?” I think she could feel my discomfort because she turned to look out into the distance with me.

“Patchy hates himself. He covers it well but, honestly, he hates all of us. He blames us... and himself for the Aborts.”

She turned back to me confused. “Why?”

“Like you said, we are Stillborns. The same technology that was able to save our lives, is what made that Abort that killed Ben, Band, and so many others.” I turned to look into her eyes. “It isn’t our fault. Stillbirths were on the rise because of lead pipes, pollution, the processed food, or who even really knows. But the world was hurting. Scientists tried resuscitating Stillborns. And it worked. Mostly.” I looked down in shame. “By the time we were old enough to show any abnormalities it was too late. The wheels had been set in motion and the technology was used to try to salvage the remains of well… abortions.”

“But that’s not the same!” She interrupted.

“I know. But nonetheless, here we are. Patchy was the first stillbirth to be saved. It was a big deal, and he blames himself the most for the monsters out there.”

“Do you blame yourself?”

“I can’t really blame myself for something that started before I was born… But I can do everything in my power to try and make it right and make sure no one else dies.”

“You're a good leader L.” She nudged me and smiled. “But great leaders have names.”

I reached into my pocket and then held out my hand. “Here.” I gently placed the gold necklace with the heart shaped pendant in her hands. “My name is L… as in Locket.”