It's More Than Cake

My hands were shaking as I paced the small lobby waiting for the elevator to announce its arrival.

The smiling faces and sounds of laughter around me was an annoying contrast to the anger boiling on the inside of me. When my day had started I had expected to look just as happy as they did but life had other plans for me.

I thought back to the bakery for the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes and I still couldnt understand what I'd done wrong. I'd planned everything perfectly to avoid any issues or arguments. I made sure to double check with the bakery to see what they offered and whatever they didnt we came up with a plan to meet half way.

Blake and I had agreed before the tasting that we would go with a unique flavor instead of the normal lemon, chocolate, or white. I was excited about that because that would mean that it would knock down the amount of time we spent tasting all together.

I tried to stay as involved in the ceremony as possible but it wasnt lost upon Blake that I just wasnt into it.

Running my hand through my short hair, I fought the urge to bolt. My anxiety had been worse ever since the engagement and it seemed like the closer the date approached the more on edge I felt.

The green light flashed, followed by a high chime, letting me know the elevator doors were opening.

I walked in and started to press the button for the doors to close when they walked in huffing and puffing like they'd ran the whole way.

Pushing the buttons for the doors to close I leaned back against the elevator wall and folded my arms as we made our way up to the top floor.

I couldnt help looking over at them as they stood with their hands on their hips while taking deep breaths.

I wanted to scream, to argue, to ask what their problem was but instead I leaned my head back and closed my eyes to run the bakery incident in my head once again.

We had been laughing at the decorative wedding cakes in the mirror when we had walked in. Throughout the planning process it had become clear that certain companies wouldnt be able to deliver what we wanted which made the process long and frustrating. Settling on that particular bakery had been hard because while I was willing to let certain things go Blake was not.

When the baker had showed us to the private area for our tasting, the cake slices had already been sitting on the table, on little plates, waiting for us to dig in. I had forgotten to tell the baker not to include the plain flavors in our platter and I didnt want to make a fuss so I removed them off the table.

"So you're just going to ignore me?" they asked, interrupting my thoughts of the bakery as the elevator doors opened and we stepped out.

I kept walking until we got to our room and once we entered I headed into the bathroom closing the door behind me. I didnt really want to talk to them until I could piece it all together myself.

Thinking back to the bakery once again I remembered us laughing and talking while feeding each other the slices and making goofy faces.

The baker came out and we had both decided to put the order in for the Orange Marmalade and Lemon Cake. We both knew that the baker would design and deliver the cake but she would not be providing the cake topper because she did not have the type that we were looking for and she refused to order it.

They knew this. We had discussed it before going into the bakery. Yet, they still brought up the topper.

My stomach had dropped to my feet as they asked, "Why can't you just order the topper that we'd like. Other bakeries were willing to?"

The baker turned to me as Blake stared at her angrily.

"I thought that we discussed everything over the phone. You said you were fine with not getting your topper here. I can make your cake and deliver it for you but my beliefs cannot allow me to order such a topper," the baker explained as she twirled her hands together.

I could tell that she was uncomfortable and I felt bad that they even brought it up even though it had already been discussed.

"No, you're right. I apologize for them. We are sticking to our agreement. If you want to ring it all up I'll go ahead and pay now and leave you with the delivery address" I said apologetically as I stood.

The baker nodded once and without another glance at them, she walked to the front to ring it all up.

"Excuse me! Why would you do that? It is wrong for her to treat us like that!" they snapped throwing their napkin down on the table before standing.

I took a deep breath knowing where this would lead to. I had to constantly explain to them that there was a difference between someone accepting them and agreeing with their lifestyle and someone who only accepts. My parents were always the example I used to get them to understand.

My parents loved me and accepted me as I was no matter what. They respected my pronouns and when I came out they accepted that I wouldnt ever marry a man. They didnt agree with any of it and I knew that because of my religous up bringing. However, they made sure to tell me that they didnt have to agree with me to accept and love me.

Their love and acceptance molded the way I seen the world and my expectations for how people treated me.

It taught me to pick my battles and let certain things go. The baker treated us like she would anyone else and she let us know her boundaries. I respected that. It would be different if she refused to service us at all but that wasnt the case.

They didnt understand that I didnt want to have to fight to belong every time we went somewhere. I had nothing to prove and I was confident in myself and in our relationship. They felt the complete opposite. They needed the world to know who they were and how they wanted to be addressed.

If the man at the gas station called them ma'am when saying goodbye they went on the defense and became aggresive. When I tried to explain to them that not every thing needed to be addressed they started saying that I was allowing others to disrespect them.

We were so different about who we were and it created a huge issue in our relationship. People took one look at us together and knew our relationship, they knew that we were different than the societal norm; I didnt need to state it out loud.

I was okay with our families, friends, and some acquaintances addressing us correctly. I didnt care if the taxi driver didnt.

Running my hand through my hair again I realized that we both had different views and, while neither was wrong, those differences would prevent us from being able to have a healthy relationship.

There was always going to be a baker, a store associate, or taxi driver. We couldn't change the world or make them agree with our ways of life. As long as we were treated respectfully I was fine but that would never be enough for them.

Opening the door I stood toe to toe with them catching them in the middle of knocking.

"I think that we should call this off Blake" I said watching them nervously.

"Over a baker not wanting to make our cake?" they snapped angrily.

I took a deep breath ignoring the fact that they were already manipulating the situation by changing what actually happened. The baker was fine with making the cake but I knew all of our friends and family would hear the story that they were already creating.

"You're calling off the wedding over cake?" they added shrieking.

"Its about more than cake Blake and no matter how I try and get you to understand we're never on the same page. I just dont think this will work" I explained softly.

They chuckled sarcastically and shook their long blonde locks before turning and storming out of the suite while yelling "You're breaking our engagement over wedding cake".

Usually, I'd follow them. I'd try and get them to understand my point but I knew that nothing that I said would fix it. It was about way more than wedding cake and I should have realized that long before now.