Intrinsic Knowledge

They had reached a mutual agreement. An agreement that would alter both their lives for the rest of their lives. A functional family business carried generation to generation is the dream of many American families... families not much unlike theirs. For a parent to have a son or daughter follow in his or her footsteps is a century old tradition representative of familial pride. Surely, the bond struck here in the auspicious sterility of her kitchen would be no less than those of earlier entrepreneurial families. always eager to please their every whim, to meet their approval by any means necessary. Now, her recently regained father, the missing link in her life had come to her unsought... self motivated... self-determined asking her to come into business with him. This, in her opinion, was the highest honor a child could receive. The opportunity of being ally...cohort in an already successful business operated by one's parent. She intuitively gathered all information readily accessible to her in this elated state. Questions of intent and predetermined matters of business flew rampantly through her mind.

What would be my terms for pay?

Would my license be registered and will I get all gratuities I earn?

What about training and state recognition for all active

time spent in his company?

How would I support myself and the children

until I made the first few sales?

In relocating there would have to be a place of residence....

where would we live?

New energy coursed through her veins as she sat internally reviewing prospective answers to these issues. It never occurred to her to be concerned with the issue of trust. After all, she was his flesh and blood. He had come to her displaying an urgent need and ardent desire that a child of his would follow in his path. The early part of this year had been spent in preparation for completion of required courses at Rochester Technical. She would earn her baccalaureate degree in Land Use Analysis.

----cut to later scene -------------

An airmail letter from Jordan arrived two months after Basil had departed. He had not yet located his wife and children but stopped to thank Raygene for her kindness and friendship. He had enclosed several (bills of currency) for her future reference and amusement. The letter included an outline of his plans and promises that he would keep in touch. Hoping he would find them intact, and still pleased with their surroundings, she tucked the letter into a cookie tin as a keepsake. She smiled to herself marveling over the gold laid stamp with a jade beetle on it. Basil's explanation of this would have been that the scarab is a well respected symbol in the middle eastern countries. It was relevant to levels of royalty. She felt blessed to have made his acquaintance and certain a world of education was coming her way. She opened the cabinet and reached for her instant cappuccino. "A world of education at no charge."

A second letter addressed to her from a developer in Texas congratulated her on successful association of a Midwestern Realtor with their corporation. She had served as the third party for a well known and highly respected Realtor in the metropolitan suburbs of Chicago. The account had been assigned to a co-worker by the sales manager, Mr. Scholls and was to have been overseen by the broker and development corporation in her absence. After having gotten ill and taken back by her family, Raygene had forgotten about this contract. The letter was a welcome sight. She was sure the Realtors back home were doing well with sales of the resort and development project. A follow up call to the main office reassured her that funds were forthcoming and that new projects were on the table if she wanted to participate. Her broker seconded the regional agent's revelation. Raygene reached back into her cabinet to add a little Drambuie to her cappuccino for celebration of her good fortune. Hard work does prove through. Since becoming involved in the land and housing industry, Raygene had realized what she could never achieve during the years spent struggling to raise her children. The involvement alone was enough to make her feel as though she had contributed new life to society and future generations. The excitement of both issues and the warmth of the Drambuie curling in her belly made her just slightly mellowed... she dialed Ja'vier's number.

Three rings and he did not pick up the phone. The recording came on... "I'm busy at the moment, but you can call back... or hey - you can leave a message in thirty seconds flat; when you hear the little beep tone... tell me what 'tis... and hey, I'll get back to you... bshoop paaah." Disappointed, she returned with, "This is Gene... call me, I got somethin warm for ya..." and smiled as she hung up the phone. Just as she replaced the receiver, the phone rang. "That's odd", she thought as she lifted it to her ear, "Hello." "Hey baby it's cold outside, what's for dinner and what do ya have on?" She jerked the phone away from her ear, "...goddam pervert.... crank call!, I don....," The voice sounded familiar... long time since I heard this one.... hmmmm; she put the phone back to her ear, "Who is this?" The voice responded, "I got time on my hands and nobody to do it with... open the door, I'm on my way down." She listened more closely to the voice. "Is the check ready?" she returned, half smiling. "It's ready if you are babae.... how ya been?" "Heyyyyyyy, you had me there for a minute, where the heck have you been and what ya mean, time on your hands?" "I have vacation time up the butt and I have to use it or they'll take it from me. I could use it up with you real easy!... I kinda been lookin for a love to replace my friend (he chuckled) but it just ain't happenin." "She smiled and blushed, "Darryl, you can come down anytime, you know that." "I'm not into anything permanent and I've met quite a few folks since I been here, I can introduce you around if you like." Darryl was quiet for a brief moment, "Nothing permanent you say?" Raygene thought about Ja'vier and the status of their relationship. He was around but not frequently, always a "full plate" of appointments and dinner meetings. They went well together when they were together, when she could catch him. He made a good companion, but, just then... her senses perked to the accent over the airwaves............. he blew sultry sounds of smooth sax... then she was shaken back to reality, she had to make an appointment to get to see "this man." Appointments were usually arranged by his office or on the recorder, if he returned a call. Their schedules seemed to clash more lately. Both were involved in so many community saving activities that they hardly had quality time with each other. This made the relationship more vigorous when they did get together but left a risk for interference of others. "Man if you don't get your lumpy rump down here, I'm gonna write you off my list!" She laughed at the sound of her own silly comment, not believing she had actually said that. "My rump is on it's way girl!" Darryl laughed back. Raygene was the only woman he knew who had an archaic way with words. She actually stumbled over the routine "french" spoken so fluidly in today's society. "When do you think you'll be here?" He had obviously already planned an escape trip; Darryl quickly stated, "I can be there tomorrow night or by twelv-ish Thursday. You choose which is more convenient for you." Her mind flitted around on the many things they could do and the things they used to do together. "Come Thursday." It was agreed, he would come towards the end of the week. She gave him directions from the airport to her home and wrote down the approximate time he should arrive. "Okay, see ya then." A warm flush went over her, "... I'm glad you called." "I'm glad too... "Buddy, see ya then." She hung up the receiver to make plans for Darryl's entertainment.

She had kept in touch with Darryl since moving south, just as she always had. Throughout their acquaintance he had been married, had a daughter who was about the age of her own children; and worked his way from grad student to ownership of a successful minority owned business. He had become president of the National Black Businessmen's Association. This had worked out fine over the years because of her chosen field of study, they referred clients and suggestions for progress back and forth. This made them somewhat interdependent upon the other. Business, government and development went hand in hand to hold the infrastructure of society together. Without this network, the moral foundation of society had no place to cultivate the future. Darryl and Ja'vier were very similar in their independence and strong determination of the direction chosen for their lives. Both were success oriented and well connected, although Ja'vier seemed to have a more international appeal. He networked more easily with people of other ethnic backgrounds and was more open to the variety that life offered, possibly because of time spent in the presence of mixed cultures. The condo back in College Park was paid for and still in her name. She had not sold, but leased it to short term travelers and used it for in town visits by the kids. This let them come home but not HOME. Jaleel had just gone back to school, had his own small apartment and Karaan was still "being her own woman", that left the place vacant. "He can stay there... at the condo, if he chooses." She had placed notices of vacancy for reletting the place but had not yet filled it. "He will stay here." She made herself content with a mug of chamomile tea, soft music and fleeting thoughts of romance, until she drifted of to sleep.

*************************************************** three yups

The Dream:

She was ordered by the overlords... from strange and lofty places... their bellowing voices echoed from beneath rocks and from within the bark of many trees surrounding her home. What are they? What imagined authority did they presume themselves to carry over her?

They demanded she perform the rituals of the long lost SUPER-MOM to the many multi-flavored faces that crept from behind boulders and other stationary objects about the shadows of her mind. The owners of the voices and these chocolate chip look-a-likes were obviously operating under extreme duress.

*****************

Some innate object... real or imaginary, shook her from her rest. These kids, the chocolate chip imagery, were seen riding in vehicles just one night ago... riding in a different dream thru her mind. They looked just as they always did. Small and in need of a mother. The behemoth had raised its voice again. There was no face attached.. only that loud and authoritative voice. Who was it and why was it shouting in her direction? She had often assisted with the children, was pleased to do so; but not under order. Mandated support for another woman's children was not a welcomed or appreciated issue. Hearing the whining voice once more, she vaguely recognized tones... and attached what may be the correct face to the noise from without. She recalled a woman running for the judicial seat in her district, young and intelligent looking but not nearly as experienced as her competitors. One of these was an older gentleman which she had assisted in his media representation. She had produced a video for his use and had offered to assist others as a service of the studio. This woman had appeared before a church group, was presented as a long time friend and family of the esteemed Mayor and a local Bishop. She had seen the woman recently at a national organization for humanity, not in the role of a legal representative but as the representative for a children's referral organization. An adoption agency. She had pasted many pictures of lost and lonely children to a presentation board... each child obviously in need of a family or some financial support. Like most people, Raygene loved children and was usually one of the first to contribute time or money for the improvement of a child's welfare. She questioned this vision before her now, and wondered how the two careers intermingled. Had this charming young woman lost her position in campaigning? (she was told that the older man had won the seat) or was one of these concerns not an actual representation of reality? It was becoming obvious to her that the political scene was host to many scams and under handed... highbrow crimes. Extortion and sabotage fell from the highest branches in this field. She was ashamed to have pushed her long time friend into this line of work. Raygene had been taken in before and was becoming very well informed on the latest SCAMS and makeshift businesses. It was understandable that most small businesses had an extremely hard way to go before they could become established. It is understood that children... the youth in society will be our future and that they require TIME AND ATTENTION... but proper identification of organizational goals and intent has to be the first consideration. Against her better judgement, she decided to give the girl and her organization a call. The phone rang before she could dial the area code for the Adoption Agency. 'Hello, who is it?" As she awaited the response, she chuckled at her unwitty skills at "image recognition"... I would be a great professional witness, detail and characature identifier is my calling... one of my callings!" The voice on the other end finally came over, " Hello, is Ms. Tragay in?" " Speaking." "Ms. Tragay, I am with the Brigstone Child Adoption Agency, we are seeking support from persons such as yourself to vocalize our existence and to donate to the organization. Your contributions will feed and house many of the children you saw represented on the board at our last meeting. Your name was referred to me by a mutual acquaintance who attended the meeting. I assure you anything you might want to give is highly appreciated. I personally extend my appreciation for all contributions." "So, Miss.....I didn't get your name,..." "Oh, just call me Melody .. like a song..." "Oh, I see..." Raygene thought to herself... 'or like a sharp note' ..."Miss Melody , I vaguely remember your poster at the last meeting, and you know, I really love children... they deserve the best. What exactly does your organization do, and do you have some type of written track record that I might look over? I would really like to contribute to your group." There was a brief silence, possible time for thinking of unprepared answers. "Well, there are some pamphlets if you would like to take the time to come in to our office, our office is in the far north suburbs." 'Oh, and where are the children?" "Well, we contact the families after we get ...." She paused, interrupted by someone in her office. Raygene was becoming apprehensive about this one too. The voice returned, "I stand corrected, the children are at a downtown location. I'm new... just getting the feel of things here." "Oh, you had me worried for a minute there. So how would I contribute, I suppose you prefer financial support?" "We take credit ... Visa or Master Card." "OH?... "Raygene's shock could not be seen across fiber optic cable... she had not anticipated this answer. "Suppose I preferred to come into the office, I could take a look around then decide what size contribution to make?" Another silence and too much time for contemplating an answer, "..would you like to speak to someone who could better answer your questions?" "Sure, I really would like to see your OPERATION. Actually, I was just thinking about the last meeting and your display." "Fine, here is my supervisor." Raygene was surprised to hear that the promising young women even had of all things, a supervisor to limit her growth and operation. If she had become a judge, what would have become of the people residing in her area. If she had a supervisor in this position, it meant that she was not considered mature or experienced enough to operate on her own. A judge certainly requires a great deal of maturity. She shook her head in disbelief. "Hello, perhaps I can be of some assistance." Another voice came across the lines. "I am Mr. Wilson." Raygene returned with, "I asked if there were information sources documenting actual services... or your degree of success, I meet a lot of people from many backgrounds. The girl ... Melody was suggesting I support this organization and I felt I could be more beneficial to you if I could review your service and be better equipped to promote you in the community as well as offer a contribution." Mr. Wilson responded with, "we don't normally require presentations by outsiders to support us, or to advertise our existence. If you would care to contribute after viewing our information, I can send you our latest STATUS OF ORGANIZATION documents." "I am looking forward to being of more support than that, I would sincerely like to view your facilities. I have contacts in many high places that can contribute high dollar amounts. I could prove valuable to your organization." Another silence representational of the thought process in action fell heavily across the lines. Raygene took time to think a few thoughts on her own... perhaps this is really a sham and something to forewarn her associates about. She had become affiliated with many high ranking officials in both the political scenario and in business. Through her engineering and real estate she had met many of the what she considered, "high cash inventory personalities" hovering about the metro area and in the further reaches of the state. She knew national and even some international figures, all of which could be very lucrative for the right group. "We are not accustomed to such inquiries, ma'm, I will send you some information outlining our successes and hope you will find us to your liking." "l would appreciate that then Mr. Wilson, sorry to have been a problem for you." 'No problem, Ms.... , I'm hope the information will be satisfactory.... good-bye." Certain that he was now chastising his understudy, Raygene shook her head again in amazement at the people who organize so incompletely what would appear to be the best of businesses. If they had invited her in, they could have realized a much better influx of contributions than any single phone call could have drawn. They would have to learn NOT TO UNDERESTIMATE POSSIBLE CLIENTELE. The success of business rested upon it. At any rate, she hadn't lost a cent. At the end of many miles of fiber optic cable, Melody and her co-worker were still trying to shake the shock that this solicitation call had brought them. They had sounded too unprofessional. Though the company had been in operation for only a short time (in business years) they had not prepared themselves for this type of response. There were no "ready-made facilities" for viewing, they were a 'middle man' ...straw man type corporation. They performed a service for larger organizations and single families who walked into the office located in the far north suburban area. Raygene made a note regarding the call on her desk calendar, then turned to check the refrigerator for her option on dinner. She wondered if the girl had kept her contact with the local administration and with the promoters of her political career. Surely they had not damaged her chances through hasty preparation or shady operations outside of her knowledge. She muttered to herself out loud, " WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?"

*********************************************Four

When Ja'vier returned from his investor's seminar, he checked his messages to find Raygene and three other callers requesting his attention. All of these were what he considered 'Fair weathered friends.' He looked at the list as the names and numbers flashed across his caller i.d., all were correlated with messages left in his voice mail; none of which sounded very prompting for a return call. He would have normally jumped to return the call from Ray, but he had been beaten around all day by the attendees at the seminar. 'I'll check in tomorrow." Let's see, Miss Dunhill moved and left the apartment a mess, that should have been expected. Hmmm, Sam Goulanich has disturbing news... that can definitely wait for tomorrow. And .... possible account increase ... can't pass this up! He dialed the out-of-area number for the investment offer, (202)547-MONY." Three rings and an English-sounding voice... that of a woman, greeted him with tones that could have been mistaken for a song. He had heard women in old English movies with voices that resembled this one... it was as if she had been transplanted here from "the old country"... wherever that was. She rattled on and on about a planned development within one of the oldest commercial buildings in the downtown area. It was previously owned by a large oil conglomerate and had operated for over ninety years for this company in one form or another. Although there may be a few nicks to clear before actual construction, the final outcome could bring him a realization of a $900 - to $1000 return on his dollar. They arranged a date for him to visit her group's office. This was a date to look forward to. The group was part of a larger investment organization with main offices in the next county. He had no idea of how he had been selected, but he was definitely going to "check it out." He noted the date and purpose on his calendar, then made a mental note to return the others in the morning. He flipped a cd into the player and as it prepared to soothe him from a restless day in the crowds, he stripped out of his uniform of the day... suit and tie... and into his lounging set. Raygene had given him this back when they were really hot, she had called it "the wrapper on her appetizer." He smiled to recall the instance and the occasion of the day. She had been the best to come along in a while... certainly better than most other tenants. The sale of that condo had not been planned but a professional person demanded a PROFESSIONAL approach. He thought briefly and somewhat amusingly, of how this could be claimed as a loss on his taxes. He had originally considered it an investment and had not banked on her community enthusiasm. Re-entering the living room serenaded by Wyndam Hill's Seasons collection, he let the notes tickle his emotions. He was usually busy creating business deals, getting involved in projects, and seeking new adventures. He loved light jazz because he could think clearly unhampered by the provoking words of heavy love songs or melodious beats that provoked rebellious thoughts. Light jazz, with or without the words, left room for the mind to experience free roam and the body's ultimate relaxation. He sunk into the plush leather sofa on the distant wall and raised a snifter of cognac to his lips. He had learned to distinguish between the better liquors over time spent among acquaintances at the many conferences he attended. Earlier in life, a cousin Glen who was very experienced with the drinks had tried to educate him on the complements of fine liquor. Not until he began to mingle did he appreciate her training. He sipped to the point of relaxation and placed the container back onto the burled wood coffee table leaning back with closed eyes, to enjoy the music. As he did Raygene drifted into his mind again. They had not gotten together for weeks now due to hectic scheduling, it was as if schedules were actually arranged for conflict. He could only play with her in his mind now as he had on so many nights prior to this. He pictured her squarely , solidly in his mind. Imaging her face... lips, her usual inquiring expression, and the curl of her natural hair at the nape of her neck. When together, he could curl his finger around in somewhat of a hypnotizing effect that for some peculiar reason, brought him to excitement along with the closeness of her body. He was so familiar with the scene that he could recreate it at will. As Wyndam Hill picked up his beat in the change of seasons, Ja'vier quickened his fantasy with Raygene in his mind. He replayed in his mind the too frequent instances each resembling the first... time making love. He had grown to appreciate these almost as much as the warm explosion of liquor in his abdomen. Both felt equally GOOD. These fantasies combined with the overheated sensation caused by the liquor was almost as good as the real thing. Ultimate safe sex. He followed every detail of their usual routine... from the foreplay through 'funilingus/cunnilingus'. Each act so realistic he could almost physically feel her touch. The phone rang startling him and causing him to explode... knocking over his drink and falling over himself from the shock. As he reached for the phone, clearing his throat, "Umphhmm, umphmmm, ah hello," He felt the flush rushing from his face as he pulled himself back together. It was Raygene, "Hey, I thought you'd be in by now, I just had the strangest feeling! I should have had you here." He smiled to himself, "I could say the same... what are you up to?" "....About being titillated..," she laughed out loud and thought of something relayed to her by Jaleel some time ago. He had experienced an UNUSUAL , titillating situation. She had laughed at him and dismissed it all too rapidly. and now she was rattling the same peculiar feelings off to Ja'vier. "It was really strange, I don't quite know how to explain it!" He interjected, "...like a dream?" "Yes, like a dream." They both laughed it off; she invited him over with subtle suggestions. He declined... partially for time to continue this experience, partially to give himself time to plan for the morning routine. They hung up the phone and Ja'vier dashed back to his spot eager to get back into the feeling. Trying to refocus on her face, Ja'vier kept drawing blanks, interrupted by the changing CD player, someone's pet knocking over the trash can in the alley, and other usually indeterminable noises. Frustrated, he jumped up and dashed into the bathroom for a shower and to manually finish the job. Wyndam Hill played an encore of his last hour's performance. When he came out of the shower, the music had ended again. He flipped the cd off to allow the radio free will with the rest of his night.

"...It's mor or ning... " a faint call to alarm issued only as Phyllis Hyman could relay, pulled Raygene from her otherwise uninterrupted sleep. Other than that odd call to Ja'vier, nothing special had gone on throughout the night. She lie still... thinking and wondering why anyone would put another person on reserve, especially if it were not to hold them for themselves at a later date. She could easily take Ja'vier's ever constant pushing off as a blatant insistence that she 'get off his back.'

The different men who had frequented her life in one way or another flitted through her mind. Ja'vier with his constant evasionary tactics, Darryl and their long-lasting ... eternal closeness, regardless of terror or trauma that may have occurred; and even Basil. Basil was always available even though he was soundly married to Zainab. He was appealing with his suave actions, the money and ingenuity he portrayed, and most certainly his heroic mannerisms toward her. At first meeting, he had been her knight in armor. He had rescued her from Avery and from the financial ruin she could have faced if he had not assisted her into the engineering company. He definitely held no bottom rung in appearance when compared to the other two. She wondered how Zainab could fix her mind to leave what seemed to be such a great relationship... or at least, a great guy. For Raygene, this situation would have been heaven, she had always had to fight her own battles. No man had stood for her or provided for her as Basil did for Zainab. A sudden rush of overwhelming insult ran over her... what was so different about that woman and herself that no man would even consider taking the lead? She had tasted Zainab's food, it was good but not any better than comparable dishes made by Raygene. If need be, Raygene could even duplicate most meals she had seen and experienced at that home. Surely it was not his looks. Raygene caught the attention of men wherever she went; not all men but enough men to allow her confidence in this area to hold its own. It was obvious to all she came in contact with that she was no slaggard in the brain area. She often thought this to be the scarecrow image hovering over her head. Maybe her intellect actually worked against her. Men preferred everything large on a woman EXCEPT her brain.

In the process of reviewing relationships, Raygene's mind skipped across one individual who had approached her with the precocious notion of "starting a business"... a business owned by another woman, who turned out to have gone to high school with Raygene.

fiction excerpt