Inevitable annoyance for all mankind

In the first week of July 3034, seven children were born, each with superpowers.

Tuesday, the first-born, pain in the ass, could bring people back from the dead. Brought grandma around for Mums 40th birthday. No present since has matched.

Thursday, had speed, could do a weeks’ worth of work in one day. Got all the gold stars on the chore chart. None left for anybody else.

Wednesday’s daydreams could come to life, and after discovering romance novels in her teens lead a very happy life indeed.

Saturday could drink an ocean worth of alcohol and never get hungover, has been chasing something to get him high since he was fourteen.

Friday could send fireworks from her fingers, became a pyromaniac, she’s not allowed near forests anymore.

Sunday, affectionately called Sunny could make flowers bloom and could probably make the sun shine out of her ass. Hero, literally, her middle name.

Then there was me. Born after seven days of labour, I was never mother’s favourite. I could suck the energy out of the room. Literally make people fall asleep on their feet.

A truly awesome power. Until I was seventeen in the backseat of Dad’s Toyota with the boy that caused me a number of sleepless nights, drooling on my shoulder.

And so, to alleviate that humiliation, or, if my mother was to be quoted, to make family dinner more difficult, I became the Villain.

With my half done hair, and un-ironed costume, I was never truly formidable. But I was satisfied being an inevitable annoyance for all of mankind.

After all, everyone hates Mondays.