In My Head

Where should I start?

Should I start at the beginning, or should I get to the good part?

I never know where to start.

My mind seems to jumble up all my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes it even creates new memories all together. Isn’t that funny?

Did you know from the 70’s to 90’s it was a time to be alive, but to others it was hell. It gave birth to the worst serial killers; many are still unfound. Many of these crimes were against women involving rape and murder. Nowadays, technology can pretty much do anything and it’s a lot easier to find anyone. Technology wasn’t what it used to be.

Some of the worst serial killers were Ted Bundy, Anthony Balaam, Jeffrey Dahmer, Richard Ramirez, etc. Ted Bundy kidnapped, raped, and murdered women. Anthony Balaam known as the Trenton Strangler raped and murdered four prostitutes. Jeffrey Dahmer was a sex offender and murder who dismemberment of 17 men and boys. Richard Ramirez known as the Night Stalker was a serial rapist, kidnapper, child abuser, and burglar. This is proof that monsters really do exist.

August 20- something or is it the 15th, 2020

Once again, I pulled an all nightery. My eyes are droopy, I’m barely running on fumes, and I desperately need sleep. On top of that I’m hungry.

“Honey, I’m leaving for work okay. I ordered food for you and brothers”, My mom said she snapped me out of my thoughts, “Is my laundry done?”

My mom worked as a massage therapist so I would do wash her sheets and towels, and my dad fixed cameras and stuff. He usually left around 5 am. My brothers on the other hand were big gamers and I rarely saw my 2nd younger brother. He spent most of his time in his room while my youngest brother slept just right outside my room on a black foam cushion. He has a bed, but he just refuses to sleep on it. I don’t blame him. I’ve seen my brother’s room and it’s gross.

“Yeah”, I said as I lay back in my bed and continue to stream TV on my laptop. I usually left my laptop all night and all day to fill the empty sound in my house. It gets quiet during the night when your brothers are sleep and no one is making noise. Occasionally my dog will wake me up so I can take him outside.

‘I’ll login into school later’, I say in my head.

I walk downstairs in my dark grey shorts and plain black t-shirt. I no longer wear a bra inside my house because I grew out of almost all of them. I make my way to the kitchen and make myself anything that I can eat. I would then go upstairs, eat, and then fall sleep, wake up do some laundry, login into school, stream shows on my laptop, and then eat again. This was basically my whole routine each day. Nothing ever exciting ever happen and I didn’t want it to. I would leave my door open so I could hear my brothers or anything else. This was my life. I had no desire to go outside. I would only leave if there was a good movie playing in the movie theater.

.

August 31, 2021

At 7:10 pm me and my dad are going to the movies, and I know were going to get out late. My stomach turns, it’s telling me not to go, stay. I try and stay calm, but I can’t. It’s like all my thoughts are coming at me at once. Why are you thinking this? On top of that my I’m not feeling right, and I must use the restroom bad.

As we get there, I can’t help feeling like I’m being watched. The worst scenarios run through my mind. These bad thoughts just run threw my brain.

Just then, as I get out of the car someone from behind grabs me and covers my mouth. I see two to three guys; my dad is trying to fight but he loses. I can’t move and I don’t know what to do I just freeze. As they put me in the car I silently cry. I look around to find something anything that can help me. I find work tools and wood with a nail in it.

I don’t want to know what they’ll do to me, but I don’t think I can live with what they’re going to do to me. I grab the wood with the peace of nail on it and stab myself in eye.

“Hey”, my dad says to me snapping me out of my thoughts. I have a lot of thoughts like that every time I go out. I fear that every time I go out it’ll be my last.

I look out the window as I watch the buildings past by me. I just want to feel the soft and cozy warmth of my blankets.

As I get home, I get this tingling sensation that someone is watching me. I rush to my door, and I make sure the door is locked as soon as my dad gets inside. I look outside of my porch window to see if anyone is there, and I don’t see anyone.

12:05

‘It’s going to be another long night’, I say to myself as I do my mom laundry and watch TV on my laptop.

“Woof”, my dog barks. ‘crap’, my dog needs to go pee.

“Take him out”, I yell at my brother.

“You take him out”, my brother yells back.

“Woof”, my dog continues to bark.

“Ugh, fine I’ll take him out”, I say as get up and start walking downstairs.

I always end up taking the dog outside. I hate getting up, it’s dark and the blinds are open. I’m afraid someone is secretly watching us from outside. Anyone can see us walking up and down the stairs.

I rush to the back door to let my dog out. I want to get this quickly done so that I can be in my room where I feel somewhat safe and happy. As I wait for my dog, I make sure he has food and water. That’s when I see a shadowy figure looking at me through the widow. I run back to the back door and quickly call my dog in. I then run to the stairs, but I don’t see the shadowy figure. I don’t know where he went but I don’t want to know. I run back to my room with my dog because I don’t want to be alone.

My heart is beating so fast, who was that man? Where did he come from? Where did he go? Why was he out so late? Everything will be better once the sun comes up right?

1 am

“haha”, I laugh at the show modern family.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I jump at the neighbor’s loud car motor. They always do this late at night. It’s so annoying. I continue to watch my show as I slowly drift to sleep.

2:30 am

CRASH!

I jolt up from my peaceful slumber as I hear a loud crash coming from downstairs. At first, I thought it was just in my mind, but I see my dog is up too and I know he’s heard it too.

CRASH!

There it is again! What is that? I turn down the volume of my laptop so I can hear better, but the noise has stopped. That’s when I hear someone walking up the stairs. The footsteps are hard and there growing closer by the second.

STEP

STEP

STEP, whoever was walking up the stairs has reached the top. I stay as still as I can, so I won’t be caught or heard.

‘Bing Bing’, it’s the sound of a cell phone.

“Dude”, I hear my brother answer the phone, that’s when I let myself breath, “I was eating, I’m back now”.

“Are we gonna play”, I hear my brother’s friend, John, speak loudly over the phone. I swear there both idiots.

I look at my phone to see what time it is, 2:30 am, I only have a few more hours to daylight. I can manage.

3:45 am

I haven’t managed to go back to sleep. I’m to hyper to go back to sleep, my mind is still racing, and it doesn’t help that my brother is being so loud while playing on the computer, but at the same time I like the noise. It fills the empty void. That’s when I hear the neighbor’s stupid car again. God why does their engine have to be so loud?

4:30 am

It’s 4:30 am, I have two more hours till daylight. I can wait until then. My brother finally stopped playing on the computer a few minutes ago but he’s mostly likely still up playing on his phone.

RUSTLE

I hear a rustling noise coming from downstairs. It’s probably my brother but something in the back of head is telling me I should make sure.

“Bruh, is that you?”, I say loudly so he can hear me, but I get no response back. I get up from my bed very slowly, so that I won’t any noises, but my bed had other ideas. It creaks as I get up from it.

I turn the corner of my bedroom door to see if my brother is sleeping on his little bean bag couch thing, that he likes to call a bed, but he isn’t there. I start to get worried but that’s when I see light is on in the restroom.

I walk to the restroom door and lightly knock, “Dude are you in there?”, I ask through the door.

“Yeah why?”, my brother speaks loudly, making me jump a bit.

“Oh, nothing”, I say and for a second, I was relieved but if my brother is up here then who’s downstairs.

RUSTLE

I hear it again. Maybe it’s my other brother or grandma but something in the back of my head is telling me to go downstairs and check it out. I check on my other brother, who’s most likely in his room sleeping on an actual bed. I open the door slightly so I won’t wake him up but there he is playing on his phone.

“You’ve been up this whole time”, I ask in disbelief.

“Yeah”, he says as he continues to play on his phone, “What do you want?”

“Nothing”, I say, “I was just checking on you”. I close the door as I slowly and gently walk to the top of the stairs.

So, it’s not my brothers, it must be my grandma or my dog, I didn’t see him my room anymore when I woke up. I check my parent’s room but he’s in there sound asleep at the foot of the bed and so are my parents. So, it must be my grandma, I say to my myself as I slowly walk downstairs, trying to make little noise as possible but again the stairs decide something differently. It creaked every other step I made. I look out of the window and see if that man from before was there but there was no one outside. Just house, cars, and a streetlight.

I make my way to the kitchen, but no one is there. I see if my grandma is up, she sometimes gets hungry in the middle of the night. I walk to her door; I can hear telenovela is on. I slowly turn the doorknob and open it just enough to see the inside of her room. She sounds asleep in her bed, but I do notice the light in her restroom is open. I close the door to her room then I quickly open the door to her restroom, but no one is in there. She must have left the light on again but what if someone is in the shower. I check her shower, and no one is in there either. I feel stupid as I close the door to her restroom.

I make my way upstairs but before I do, I remember I haven’t checked the back door. I need to make sure it’s locked. I then make my way to the back door. I open the curtains slightly to see the lock to the back door. It’s locked. I feel stupid yet again. I look out from the back door and see nothing but darkness. I then click on the back light and that’s when I see him. The shadowy figure from before, he is standing in the back of the yard. I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s just standing there looking at me.

“Oh god”, I shriek as I quickly close the curtain and run as fast as possibly upstairs to my parents’ room.

“Mom, dad, there someone in the back yard!”, I shout as the dog jumps up and looks at me weirdly, but I get no response from my parents. I turn on their bedroom light, but no one was in bed. It just blankets. I then check their bathroom and connecting closet, but no one was in there either.

“There someone in the back yard”, my youngest brother asks.

“Yes”, I say, “Where’s mom and dad?”

“I don’t know. They went out a while ago dude.”

“There someone out there. We need to call mom and dad.”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because we have no service.”

That’s right we don’t. Mom forgot to pay the phone bill.

“What going on?”, my other brother asks as he walk out of his bedroom.

“There someone outside in the back yard”, I reply.

“Lair”, My brother doesn’t believe me, “Let me see.” He walks downstairs.

“We have to hide”, I say to my youngest brother, “And turn off all the lights.” I lead him and my dog to my room so we can hide under my bed as I hear my other brother doing something downstairs.

I hear slide open the back door then it goes silent. Nothing. I pet my dog for comfort and my brother and me sit in silence. Don’t make a noise not matter what, I say to myself.

I check my phone and lower down the brightness. 4:57 am. My brother has been gone for a few minutes. I should check on him but what if the man got him. What do I do? I try so hard not to panic but in the inside I’m terrified. What do I do?

“Do you think he’s okay?”, I ask my brother but when I look beside me, he’s gone too. I reach out for my dog like my brothers his gone too. This will all get better when their daylight. I’ll be able to see better, I tell myself. Not to mention my parents will be back by then. Right?

I suddenly hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Stay quiet, I tell myself. The footsteps grow closer and closer and closer. They stop. I breath so soft that it comes out like a whisper. Then my bedroom door creeps open, and I can see the man’s dark boots, that are surrounded by mud. I hold my breath and close my eyes, hoping he’ll leave soon. I hear him walk to my closet and back, then the footsteps stop.

Suddenly I’m being dragged from underneath my bed by the man. He turns me over to look at me, but I still can’t make out the man face, it’s just black. He starts to unbuckle his belt and I know I must fight. I jabbed my thumbs for far up the man eyes he starts bleeding and yelling. I use this distraction to run outside and call for help but as I’m running and yelling for my life, no one seems to come out or turn on their lights for me. It’s like everyone in the whole block is gone. I then hear my phone drop out of pocket. I don’t remember putting my phone in my pocket. I thought I had dropped it when I escape. I use my phone to call 911 but no one answers. I try my parents, again no one answer. I try everyone I have in my contacts, and no one answers. I keep running, trying anyone but I noticed my surroundings look familiar. That’s when I see my house in the distance. I’ve run back to my house. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.

“This can’t be happening!”, I shout as I start to cry, “Why is this happening to me?”

I check my phone again to check what time it is. It must be close to daylight, right? 7:30 am. Why isn’t there daylight. Where am I?

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I hear the fire alarm going odd. I’m awoken from my deep slumber and greeted with the smell smoke. It takes me a few seconds to understand my surroundings but I’m home and I’m in my bed. Have I really been asleep this whole time?

“Come on, let’s go!”, I hear my brothers yells at me, “There a fire!”

“A fire?!”, I ask. That’s when I immediately jolt up from my bed and understand that I must get out of here.

As me and brothers run downstairs, I see that the kitchen is on fire.

“Let’s go”, my youngest brother yells at me from the front door.

“What happened?!”, I shout as I run towards him. I can see my parents and the neighbors all outside of my house even the fire fighters who are trying to put out the flames.

“Grandma, set the house on fire”, I hear my brother tell me beside me as I watch our house being put out.

Suddenly, there’s a gust of wind and I’m freezing. I notice that everyone has at least a sweater or jacket on but what really caught my eyes where the pretty Christmas decorations on my neighbor’s lawns. How long have I’ve been inside?

“Is it winter?”