Impossible Journey

There weren’t always dragons in the valley. They had just entered the Valley after thousands of years of being in hiding, yet still I am drunk and ready to die. Sitting on a beer stained couch next to some belligerent college guy trying to feel me up is when this revelation hits me. He doesn’t know I am only seventeen. My coworker, Jessica, who I would barely call my friend dragged me out to this party and ditched me the second she saw her latest hookup. I didn’t really care. In fact, I didn’t really care about anything anymore.

My cup was halfway empty, my last beer. If I cared more about the little things I would try to make this beer last. I would sip it, relish in the taste, and try to make these final moments matter. If I still cared, I would wait until one last good song played, have one more meaningful conversation, maybe even dance ok on a table or two.

I didn’t care though. I knew I never would again. That is why I came to the conclusion that I was ready to die.

College guy leaned in closer, brushing his lips gently against my ear while he whispered, “Beautiful, do you want to finish that beer upstairs in my room?”

For a moment I considered it, I mean why not? It was the unbearable stench of whiskey on his breath that made my decision an easy one. “I need to use the bathroom.” I told college guy as I stood up and walked away. I heard him shout from behind me to come back after but I acted like I didn’t hear him.

I walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me...then went to the sink and braced myself on the counter as I forced myself to look up into my reflection for the last time. My face looked a lot thinner than it did six months ago, I had pretty much forgotten about food since the accident. My long, blonde hair went down to my waist, it had been awhile since I had bothered to cut it. I brought myself to look at my green eyes, empty and distant. The shadow of a once beautiful girl screamed to come back, but my shattered soul kept pulling her down, telling her it’s time to let go. I gazed at myself a few moments longer, turned my back on my own reflection, and left.

The beach house where the party was held was located on the side of a cliff. Parties were thrown there every weekend but this was the first that I had attended. Leila and I didn’t party. Leila and I had straight A’s. Leila was dead.

I walked outside and headed up the trail leading to the cliff. Stars scattered across the sky, looking down on me like my own personal guardian angels. Once I was a few yards from the edge I slowed a little. Gently, I made my way to the drop and looked down. It was at least a hundred feet. I turned around and looked back over at the house. No one was coming after me. No one would miss me if I was gone.

I turned back around to face the ocean. At least I would spend eternity there, part of the calm waves and cool smelling sea breeze, just like my twin sister. The thought of that brought a sense of happiness in me I haven’t felt in months. I glanced down at my forearm, staring at the matching tattoo we had gotten one memorable night on vacation. An eel. I closed my eyes, smiled, and stepped off the ledge.