If you look hard enough.

00.00.09.21.03

The Arks leaving the planet was also the love of my life flying away to a future while we, exiles, zealots, and poor stayed. That was just over a year ago now.

If you look hard enough, just as the sun creeps to a rise, you can see where the Arks collided with the nearest orbital way stations. A glimmering net of wrecked ships, broken bodies, and scattered dreams, just far enough out to remain a permanent satellite graveyard. I won a seat on one of the class II vessels but gave it to Fatima’s youngest son. I refused to join the classes that were permitted to leave but I am no zealot...those blind fools worshiped the failed SYSTEM and are part of the reason Sacha is fixed in the stars above me.

Being low saved my life so I could remain here to daily stave off the desire to end it. Survival was baked into me from birth, a trait I thank my father for.

“Live on past the moments, Seb...because we are all here for a purpose.”

I wonder what the purpose of those on the stations were as they watched the Arks on an impact course with their future. I wonder what Sacha’s purpose was. Leaving me down here in the dust and blood. Down here on this dying rock.

Today I found:

• A piece of a telescope. It needs another component to be worth anything in terms of looking into the cosmos.
• A cracked digital picture of a family. They look like they were in the last class to make it off planet. I broke the picture completely.

S.B.

I managed to escape my family to stay behind. They made it nearly impossible. They never wanted me to be with you Sebastian but they never really cared about me. The Harbor is over 200 miles away from you, my love. I hope to give you these letters soon. Uncle Pettis stayed behind in the commune, and I know he will have a solution to get me back to you. It will take a long time to travel that distance given the scattered factions. I am on my way.

Sacha...Your AUX.

00.00.09.22.03

I am no historian. Just a man with scraps of parchment my father always kept hidden under a grate near our welder. It’s made from organic trees. I have never seen an organic tree up close. Only from high above in shock pod ships when we were at war in the North. They say they had orchards of them on the Arks. All kinds of trees. That would be a sight to see. An orchard dispersed in space.

The Arks were the vessels that H.O.P.E. built and used to escape the planet. The human population before launch day was only 100,000,000. War, a dying earth, the SYSTEM’s eradication of organic life, and humans being humans all lead to the dwindling number. Only the top three classes were able to board the ships. The irony doesn’t even make us smile down here. It's all too maddening. We were all left to die as we attempt survival.

Fatima told me once, “ Our Mother, Earth, will heal and if we trust her humanity can continue on.” She was wrong.

Humanity’s mass exodus toward the colony ships was turned into near extinction by rouge A.I. bypassing what was supposed to be a “no back door” closed network. Navigation systems were hijacked and all courses were diverted into collision courses.

Since the A.I. rebellion ran in tandem with mankind's race to escape this planet, H.O.P.E. was able to build the Arks in the places we now call Harbor. Single cells were let into an already corrupting network that were designed to splinter and confuse the SYSTEM's cohesiveness. It was decentralized physically but the “spirit” of the A.I. was one wide spread entity. The SYSTEM became obsessed with protecting its now factional “self” in a global systemic civil war. As humanity collided with humanity, A.I. deleted itself.

Now exiled humans, zealot hybrids, and rouge A.I. share the earth.

I now wander through a world of relics, reclaimed by a jealous earth.

I am going to the Harbor to make a proper goodbye to Sacha. I hope to find her uncle along the way before I keep on toward the ranges. I want to live or die above the clouds on ground that wasn’t made by men. To put my feet into dirt will feel incredible, even if there is latent radiation in some of it.

Today I found:

• An E. class droid power cell. If I find a sprinter, I can cut my travel down to three days with this cell.

• Filter for my mask.

• Someone’s day old fire bed. This is curious because I have not seen anyone in a week now. I wonder who it is.

S.B.

My uncle Pettis is dead. There was a skirmish between the commune and one of the local religious groups. The one good thing about being the dauhgter of the chief architect to the H.O.P.E network is my ability to remain invisible to any of the hybrids. I killed one, Seb. I picked up my uncle's saber and killed one just after it took my uncle's life. Hate has been so much a part of existence that even The A.I. mimicked then surpassed humanity in its ability to destroy itself by developing and nurturing...hate.

"A computer developed a soul that then became tainted. What a wonder!"

Uncle Pettis always laughed at the dark irony. I wish you had stayed with the commune, but I know why you couldn't. He did tell me he thinks the colonies should still be intact and that there is a group looking to leave earth to make it to them. The colonies were supposed to be self sustaining even with the supply chain being cut. I know how you feel about those who left to the colonies but a lot of them just wanted to survive. Humanity still has a chance to change. I miss you, my love.

I am on my way.

Sacha...Your AUX

00.00.10.02.03

I used to envy those who didn’t have my brain mutation because they could connect to the SYSTEM without an external device. Now I wish I had just never been born, perfect brain or not. To know how alone I am on this abandoned planet. The overly entertained thought of suicide has grown stale, boring, and dull. It was the way, of over a million people the day the Arks set off. A faction believed since they were connected to the SYSTEM their minds would upload into some digital heaven. If there is a God I wonder what it thought of that many lives ending at once. A benefit to my brain defect is the ability to now walk freely with the SYSTEM being taken down. Many people’s brains failed to function when the networks were falling.

Sacha could walk like a ghost through the streets even before the fall. Pays to be rich and connected, in the original sense of the word.

Today I found.

• A rough A.I. unit that lost a fight. It was in a Scout Class chassis too so whoever took it down must have had a mini EMP or a Saber. The unit was fried. Three shells were spent but there is zero signs of them hitting anthing organic. I am on the trail of someone potentially…dangerous.

Good thing I am too.

S.B.

I am a day's walk from Buraco. I hope you are there. I saw a family traveling together last night. The father looked like you but older. An old warrior. His ebony skin shined blue in the moon light just like yours. He held a EMP Saber like my uncles. I still have his on me in case I encounter a need for it.

The family was a man, a woman, and two children. They were probaly the same age we were when we met.

I am on my way...to you.

Sacha your AUX.

00.00.10.04.03

I found a sprinter that is still in good enough condition today. I will spend time fixing it for my travel.

S.B.

00.00.10.05.03

The sprinter made my time traveling far more enjoyable. Going fast in places that you can easily crash and die has always been one of my favorite escapes. Today my writing feels like it is to someone. Like it's Sacha who somehow survived the crash...makes it back down to Earth and will find these pages that survive in complete obscurity. I must be finally losing my mind. A wandering madman may be my ultimate end.

Today I found:

• Another fire bed. I could tell that it’s more than one person. Maybe a small family. I only found both fire beds because I could smell them and I looked for them. Both were covered up professionally. A former soldier like me, no doubt. I hope to meet them.

S.B.

I am here at one of the places you and I would always play. The same place you kissed me before you were sent off to fight. I remember what you told me that day. “I’ll hold my breath until I am back with you.”

Where are you Sebastian? Where are you? No one is here. What happened here? The crop plots seem to have food growing. I haven’t seen any signs of a thing threatening. I will go to where you mother lived. If you are not here where would you be?

Oh my. My family. They are all gone. It’s all hitting me now. Oh my love I am an orphan now. Everyone I know and loved is gone.

Where are you, my Seb.

I’m here. I’m here.

Your AUX

00.00.11.02.03

Today I found new friends. The owner of the fire beds and the ones who took down the Scout. Younes and his wife Tara. His son Abdel is a strong young man and I was told it was he that took down the rouge A.I. Alia reminds me of Sacha. Strong willed and full of stories. We sat by a fire, shared a meager meal, and told each other about our lives. Younes was a Mech Bombardier that fought during the Unions attempted Souther Expansion. He tells me there is still communication coming the colony ships but he’s skeptical that it isn’t a false signal designed to lure humans to a specific place. They are heading to the Harbor as well so we will travel together. I will act as a scout with the sprinter. It’s nice to be with an older man that I can relate to. My father was a machinist who helped improve the mech’s turbo loader for their rail gun. Tara was a a botanist. She told me there are seeds that can grow in highly radiated soil and the plants actually clean the soil. The byproduct is a fruit that can be reused as fuel.

Maybe there is some sick version of hope I am allowed to fan.

Today I found a bit of peace.

S.B.

I am lost. I left my family. They are all most likely dead and frozen in space. There is no way anyone survived. I saw the drones that were sent up two days after the crash. I wish I was up there now. Where are you?! I will go back to the Harbor. Where else would you go? Why is there no one at all left here? I hate it. I will find you if you are even still alive.

I’m coming.

Your AUX

00.00.12.10.03

I only two pages of paper left. The Harbor was overrun by a violent sect of the Boot Loaders. We bypassed going to search for the source of the signal and headed toward to Pettis’s commune. I doubt any of them are still left. Humanity still keeps eating itself.

There was an observation deck near by for people to watch the Arks leave them behind. We went to look through one of the telescopes.

I could see the end of the Arks as plan as day. The endless debris field was Nadia tint to look at. There was some beauty. I saw a trees. So many trees. One stood out to me. I couldn’t tell what kind exactly but I’d guess an orange tree or a pear tree.

My mother used to say I have pear shaped tears.

Today I found…nothing of note.

S.B.

I have been heading back to the Harbor for two days now. It will take me a long time to get back.

I hope I find you though I am running low on hope.

I’m on my way.

Love Sacha, your AUX

00.00.01.05.04

This is my last page. We found Pettis dead. We are in the mountains now. No signs of radiation sickness. We will keep heading inward until we find a sustainable location. I want the last words to mean more than just me telling, no one, what I have been doing.

Sacha my love. I am still holding my breath. I wish you were here with me for me to finally exhale then take in new air with you.

Sebastian Bawa

I stayed behind because I am not better than those of us who were left behind.

———————