If Only I Ran Faster

The river ran backwards on the day the queen vanished. It was a feeble attempt to reverse time or at least try to see if she had tragically floated down it, yet it was useless. She was gone. And it shattered me completely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was always the faster one between us two, which often concluded in an exasperated little princess tantrum. Try as Princess Odea did, she could never catch up to me. And once I was out of her sight long enough, she'd throw a fit and cry out.

"Raylynn, Raylynn why do you always leave me?" She'd wail out at the castle walls. Little did she know that I was usually right behind her. I'd cover her eyes with my calloused hands, making her squeal.

"Guess who I am and get a kiss! If you're wrong, I get your dessert miss!"

"Well, I obviously know it's you Raylynn!" Huffing with annoyance, I could see the beginning of a cheeky smile spread across her cheeks. I gave her a quick peck on those same cheeks and stepped back with a grin.

"You got it right." My smile could light up the town at the sight of her blushing. I didn't quite know why, but what I did know was that I'd do anything to make her happy. I was her protector, her guard-in-training, and her best friend; even if I longed for what I didn't really understand yet.

~

As we entered our teens, our companionship grew into an unbreakable friendship. I knew everything there was to know about my princess. And I definitely knew how devastating it was when she was forced to become a queen too young.

Our Majesty King & Queen had been brutally murdered one night when they were out for their routine carriage ride. It was a heartbreaking blow to the whole kingdom and Odea was forced to take the thrown while tears still flowed down her soft cheeks.

I knew in that moment that she'd put on a stone facade that would weigh her down to the grave. And that I would be with her every step of the way. I'd do anything if it would ease her burden.

I held her in my arms a lot that following year.

Nightly nightmares plagued my Queen endlessly. The thrashing, screaming, and panicked awakenings. The guards on duty would quiver and flinch at every untamed wail. I'd be woken from my quarters by a guard in a cold sweat, begging for me to help the Queen. And every night, I'd rise immediately to be there for her.

I got a lot of bruises that year too.

Those thrashing storms took a while to calm sometimes. But once they would, Odea's body would exhale into mine, and she'd sleepily shift closer into my embrace. I'd stroke her hair until the snores or tears came. If the latter got there first, I'd hold her even tighter, whispering gentle words. Eventually she'd open those warming honey-colored eyes and breathe out an apology.

"Good morning" I'd say, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

With enough time and nightmares, I moved to the regal daybed, and slowly we accustomed to practically living together in our room. The situation definitely improved from then. And I breathed in and out Odea; even more than usual.

We grew addicted to the shape of each other's bodies and would cuddle constantly, playing with each other's hair and skin. I'd trace the length of her jawline. She'd trace the dip in my collar bone.

I'd trace the ridges of her ribs. She'd trace the trail from hip to inner thigh.

We were infatuated with one another.

My Odea...

But then the royal obligations and expectations came. And I was not of her status. Others were.