I Never Lose

I never lose, this statement is true and that is why what is happening is all that much harder. A man is sentenced to die because of my failure.

I have one last chance to plead the case, in moments I will be escorted to the final judge and jury that will ever hear this side of the story. Clearing my throat I practice my opening line.

"Ahem, …Thank you for letting me speak one last time regarding the case of the State vs Nicholas Hardy. Esteemed .....(no, not that).. Friends, (yes, that’s better) Friends, it has become known (no, that isn’t correct) …it is known that a terrible injustice has already happened and another is about to occur, this must be immediately halted. Nicholas Hardy cannot be held responsible for his action on the said night of October twenty first, twenty thirteen due to a mental breakdown at the time of this occurrence. (Too late for the insanity plea....but is mental breakdown the correct word?)...due to a mental disorder (better) due to a mental disorder that should be noted, is NOT the fault of the defendant."

A rough clang of metal breaks my speech, looking up I see two guards and the large man that I have come to regard as my friend. Which is very unusual, the two of us under any other circumstance would most likely never have been friends. I give a reassuring smile and stand to join them. Part of me is quite upset that I had to wait in a holding cell and not the jail library or a better place to study up on my speech.

Two more guards form up behind as I begin to walk with my companion. "I believe we have a good chance to appeal the sentencing and perhaps begin a new trial, I have come up with a new approach for a..."

My tall companion gently interrupts, "Perhaps at this time we should just reflect on this moment. Is there anything that you and I should discuss, anything that needs to be said to each other before we continue?"

Shaking my head we proceed, in the distant we hear the cries of other prisoners, one voice calls out. “Give em hell Nick.’

I pause and look up. The corners of my buddy’s mouth curl into a smile. Looking to me he states. ”No matter what happens, remember the time we had together, I cherished our talks. It has been a pleasure to have gotten to know you.” With that he continues forward once more.

I am flabbergasted at how he appears to have given up, and accepts the ruling, because I have not. I always find the answer and I know there is one for this as well. We just need one more chance. I know I will not fail again. We continue walking down the corridor, the dim light is meant to calm the prisoners, but it is agitating me to the point I wish to scream 'THIS IS WRONG.'

"Look." I say. "We cannot give up, if they see what I have prepared I know the case will be reviewed, they will have no choice but to re-evaluate the evidence and circumstances of the event...."

I feel a strong but caring hand upon my shoulder, glancing up, I see contentment on his face, a peaceful understanding an almost angelic glow. Shaking my head I do not understand why he feels this is settled. There must be a way for him to see that my plan has a strong chance of succeeding. He just needs to let me try.

I grab his arm and forcefully make him face me, the guards become alarmed, do they think I am trying to cause trouble, or delay? Before anything gets violent his deep voice echoes along the concrete corridor. "It's alright, everything will be ok. Let's just breathe." Turning to me he says in simple words. "We talked about this, I've prayed, and you prayed with me, you said you understood."

"Yes, that was yesterday before I thought of this, it was as if the Lord came to me himself and showed me the light and the answer. We must fight this, Please." That last line oozed begging, but I don't think he understands that I am a winner, a person who always comes out on top, he just needs to have faith that I can do this. I do not understand how he is willing to accept defeat.

Before I say another word he holds my hand and calmly says. "We are here, our final walk together. I promise to be brave if you will."

With that last statement my world becomes surreal, like I am experiencing an out of body moment. I have no choice; they need to listen. Taking a deep breath I begin my speech..."Ladies and gentlemen , friends..."

As I speak two guards gently escort me away from my friend, I watch as they place the straps. My voice becomes louder begging them to listen. My stomach turns queasy as I see the needles puncture through the skin and are inserted into each arm. His face remains calm and serene. His lips move, mouthing the words of ‘Our Father,' I stop my useless rant and join him. A pronounced hiss fills the enclosed space as the lethal liquid is being pumped by machine into tubes and enters the flesh. His eyes close and I watch him breathe, deeply, once, twice...

I gaze into the eyes of those in attendance and wonder why they refused to hear my final words. I cannot help but dwell on how I lost. I never lose… Soon, my thoughts become foggy, my eyes heavy. The final sight I see before the everlasting dream takes me is of the tall priest, my friend, holding his crucifix as he prays for my soul.