I'm ashamed of my mom

I have been working hard, living hard, pursuing my dreams hard, just hoping to succeed, hoping to get my life together. Its purpose is to make my mother happy for me, so that my mother will not worry about me.

My mother is very hard, more than 70 years old, a lot of white hair on her head, the skin on her face like pine bark, dark, wrinkles crisscrossing the body thin, my mother is 10 years older than her peers, the only thing that gives me a little comfort is that my mother speaks with a big voice and has a power that is still young. The reason my mother is so old is because life is too hard and her heart is too miserable.

Mother did not have male children in her life, only four of us girls were born, the eldest sister is at home to recruit sons-in-law, we went out one by one to marry. My mother raised us with no easy burden on her shoulders, and she longed in her heart for us to live a good life, a happy family and good health, which was my mother's long-cherished wish and prayer.

Unfortunately, we all let our mother down one by one. The eldest sister had a serious illness 3 years ago, aunt boy removed half, now is a serious diabetes, can not do things, can not be angry, that is, half of the invalid. The following few days we are not rich, the days are tight, embarrassment is no room to turn the sound.

Every time I go home, standing in front of my mother, looking at her pale face, frost-like white hair, I have a feeling of wanting to cry, hate myself too useless, I want to let my mother live a better life, let her enjoy the blessings, but unfortunately, I did not do.

Not only did I fail to do so, but I also made my mother worry about me. Worried about my marriage, worried about my future days without dependence, living alone, which is the last thing my mother wants to see. Unfortunately, this unfortunate thing still happened. It is a misfortune of life that I have to face the breakup of my marriage when I reach middle age.

Since my marriage was in a storm, my mother began to worry about me, often calling to ask if my husband had returned. Don't argue and live a good life. My mother knew that if she got divorced, her daughter would be miserable and would have no one to rely on for the rest of her life, which would be a long period of loneliness and isolation. The mother did not want her daughter to live like this. Even if the days are poorer, there is a man around to look after, a shoulder to lean on, the days will not have a desolate.

The last time I went home, my mother did not sleep well, she always felt that things could not just drag on, my mother she wanted to save my marriage. She knows I can't argue, I can't talk, and I can't give reasons. The mother wants to stand up and shield me from this storm, but forgets that she herself is over 70 years old, windy and weak.

In this world, what is right and what is wrong, sometimes black and white, a hundred mouths, the heart is angry, aggrieved. My husband cheated outside and did not return home, as the elderly, that is, the in-laws, should stand up and criticize his son, but, unfortunately, not a word, indeed, is a fierce accusation of my not, listing my shortcomings of a line, my husband's departure from home, became my fault, before leaving home. My mother and I were counted and blamed by my in-laws.

In order to save the marriage, for the sake of my tomorrow, my mother and I desperately endured, endured. The dignity of my husband and his mother were torn apart and trampled on. We do not argue, we are still asking my husband if he can come back and live a good life with me, but he just did not promise. He had been out for months, and that time back in town, he still didn't come home, still out.

That time my mother and I were miserable and lost our dignity. My mother came home angry and sick, and in her 70s she was accused of accusing her daughter of this and that in front of her, which was the equivalent of slapping her mother in the old face. I am sorry for my mother, for making her embarrassed for me, for making her look up in front of his family.

If I have a good life, my mother does not have to worry about me, sick for me, alas ------ is I am ashamed of my mother, the days are like this, marriage is living without, this is the most painful thing for my mother.