I'm Amber, How Can I Help?

“Hello, welcome to the Domestic Abuse Support helpline. My name is Amber. I’m here to help.

“…Let me know if you are there. I’m not going anywhere, and am here to help. Take your time.

“…I understand it took a lot of courage to phone this helpline. Many people who have experienced domestic abuse or violence and need help, are never able to ask for it. Sometimes the people close to them don’t even know that they need help. I want you to know that I appreciate how scared you may feel, taking such a big step. I’m here for you; as I said before, my name is Amber. Please take your time.

“…Just letting you know I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here if and when you are ready to talk to me.

“…You sound upset. I hear you. I'm here for you without judgement if you wish to tell me anything. I will help if I can. I will also just sit with you if that's what you need. Thank you for being brave enough to pick up the phone, even if you can’t speak right now.

“…If you are not alone, or not physically safe, can you press one of the numbers on the dialling pad for me?

“…I heard the number. Thank you for having the courage to do that. I understand that you are not alone or not safe. I'm so sorry that this is your situation. But you are not on your own. I'm here with you. If you need to phone back another time, on a Tuesday or Wednesday night, I will be here.

“…Are you able to tell me your first name?

“…I am here with you. I am not going anywhere. You have my support regardless. I want you to know that you don’t have to remain in this situation. It may not feel like it, but there is always something we can do to be happy again. You can be safe. And we are here to help.

“…I heard a crash… are you okay? Are you able to say your first name?

… Hello?

…Are you there?”

“Hello, welcome to the Domestic Abuse Support helpline. My name is Amber. I’m here to help.”

“Hello Amber, this is Beth.”

“Hi Beth, thank you so much for calling, and for telling me your name. I want you to know what a big step this is, just picking up the phone. Have you called us before?”

“I actually called you about half an hour ago. You sat with me awhile. I wasn’t safe, and couldn’t say anything.”

“Wow Beth, that was you? I really appreciate you calling us back. Are you safe to talk?”

“I am now. I wasn’t before. You… stayed with me, offered support, made me feel less alone. Nobody has ever done that for me before. Nobody has ever made me feel that way.”

“Beth, that’s brilliant. I’m so happy I’ve been able to help you feel less alone. Can I ask you for more information about your situation, if you don’t mind talking about it? I’m making notes by the way, in case there’s anything I need to come back to…”

“We’ve been married twelve years. He started out nice. He seemed to love me. Then we got married and he changed. He lost his temper a lot, checked my phone, started hitting me. Told me it was always my fault, that I made him angry by having friends, and wanting to leave the house. He got worse and worse…”

“Beth, I’m so sorry. That sounds awful. How did it make you feel, being treated like that?”

“No, you don’t understand, Amber. It’s all alright now. It’s all gone away. I fixed it. You helped me fix it by believing in me, by being here for me…”

“How do you mean, Beth?”

“I… killed him. I killed him. I hit him over the head with the phone. I didn’t stop. There’s a lot of mess, but he’s dead. I finally wanted it all to stop. I stopped him. I channelled all my anger into stopping him. And you made me feel that I could do that. You helped me feel in control again. Now I need you to help me. With the body…

Hello, Amber? Are you still there?”