I Ain't Say Nothing

“All rise, the honorable Judge Matthew T. Stone providing.”

“You may be seated. Mr. Smith, where is your lawyer?”

“I am my lawyer.”

“You’re defending yourself?”

“Yep!”

“Are you aware of how bad an idea that is?”

“You ain’t got nothing to worry about. I got everything covered.”

“Have you prepared an opening statement?”

“Of course I have. I ain’t no idiot.”

“This has got to be good. Representing the State is Assistant District Attorney Laura Roberts. Ms. Roberts has served this office for twelve years and will present the prosecution’s opening statement. Mr. Donald Smith will be defending himself and has prepared his own opening statement. I want to remind the jury that opening statements are not to be taken as evidence. They are only intended to provide an overview of what each side believes the evidence will show. You are not to form conclusions based on these statements. Ms. Roberts, you may proceed.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this will be an open and shut case. On August 12th, Mr. Smith walked into Rodricks Electronics. He used his work ID to gain access to the warehouse, loaded a bag with over $25,000 worth of phones, tablets, and other small electronics, walked out, placed the bag in his car, and drove away. He did not cover his face. The stores security cameras clearly caught the entire event from beginning to end. We will show you this video and you will make your decision. We will also speak to a few people who saw these events unfold. We will also talk to a few who purchased the stolen items from Mr. Smith. Now, I promise you, Mr. Smith is going to try to wiggle his way out of this. Will you allow him?”

“Mr. Smith, the floor is yours. I look forward to hearing what you can possibly have to say.”

“Your honor, all you guys on the jury, oh, y’all women on the jury also, and you other people watching, as you may know, I fired my lawyer less than an hour ago. He told me that I should just admit guilt and face my punishment. But I swear to you, this whole case is an atrocity. I ain’t do nothing. They can’t prove nothing. I wasn’t not even there. I will prove that I was somewhere else. I hired, I mean, I have witnesses that will tell you I wasn’t not there. Don’t trust that stupid video they got. They lying. They faked it. I wouldn’t not believe a word they say. Mr. Rodrick been trying for years to frame me. He did it. He faked the video. I’m gonna prove it. And those guys that say they saw me, how. George was at the register. Mike was stocking shelves. And Greg was in the bathroom. So, how could they see me in the warehouse? They all guilty of slander. They trying to get away with it. Will you allow it? It’s all in yo hands.”

“Ms. Roberts, you may call your first witness.”

“The state calls Henry Rodrick to the stand.”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“I swear.”

“For the record, please state your full name.”

“Henry Allen Rodrick.”

“Mr. Rodrick, what is your occupation?”

“I am the owner and founder of Rodricks Electronics.”

“Were you at work on December 12th?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see Mr. Smith take the items in question?”

“No. Not in person. I was in my office at the time. Only when reviewing the video.”

“What did you see in the video?”

“I saw Mr. Smith walk into the warehouse with a large bag and place several items into it. Then he walked out, placed the bag in his car and drove off.”

“Was there anything odd about Mr. Smith being there that day.”

“I object.”

“On what grounds.”

“She called me odd. I ain’t odd.”

“She asked if it was odd that you were there.”

“Well, I object that also.”

“Overruled.”

“I always wanted to object.”

“And you did. And I overruled your objection.”

“I don’t like being called”

“Mr. Smith, don’t interrupt my court room. Ms. Roberts, continue please.”

“As I was saying, was there anything odd about Mr. Smith being there that day?”

“Mr. Smith was off that day. There was no need for him to be in the building.”

“So, was he trespassing?”

“No, I wasn’t. I object. That’s a lie.”

“Overruled. She only asked a question.”

“No. He was not trespassing. We don’t deny access to employees on their day off. We hope that they will be customers.”

“Should Mr. Smith have been in the stock room?”

“While there is no rule against it, there was no need for him to be there.”

“What did you do when you watched the video?”

“I first called the police. Then I called him to my office. We all watched the video together. Afterwards, he was arrested.”

“No further questions, your honor.”

“Mr. Smith, he’s your witness.”

“Can you state your full name?”

“Mr. Smith, Mr. Rodrick was already sworn in. Get on with your questions or let the witness go.”

“Mr. Rodrick, how do you know it was me in the video?”

“You looked right into the camera.”

“Security camera footage is grainy. You couldn’t have seen it that clearly!”

“What do you think this is, the 80s. Our cameras are ultra high def. I can zoom in on the dust on your eye lashes and still have a clear image.”

“A likely story. How do you know it wasn’t no one posing as me?”

“Nobody can act that much like an idiot without being one.”

“Who you calling a idiot. I ain’t no idiot. I object.”

“Mr. Smith. You can’t object your own witness.”

“But he called me a”

“Mr. Smith! Do you have any more questions for the witness?"

“I ain’t talking to him no more. He called me a idiot.”

“Mr. Rodrick, you may step down. Ms. Roberts, please call your next witness.”

“The state calls George Kennedy.”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“I swear.”

“For the record, please state your full name.”

“George Aaron Kennedy.”

“Mr. Kennedy, were you working at Rodricks Electronics on December 12th?”

“Yes. I was.”

“What are your duties there?”

“Normally, I’m one of the on the floor salesmen. I talk customers into spending more money than they would have. But, on December 12th, I was working at the register. Donald, Mr. Smith, took the day off.”

“Do you know why Mr. Smith took the day off?”

“No. He didn’t tell me.”

“Did you see him come into the store?”

“Yes! He walked right pass me. He even stopped, turned around, and came to speak to me.”

“What did you talk about.”

“I object. What you wanna know that for. Ain’t none of yo business.”

“Your honor, I’m trying to establish a timeline as well as the personality and relationship of the defendant.”

“Sustained.”

“That ain’t fair. You overruled me.”

“Mr. Kennedy, answer the question please.”

“OK. We were talking about how much we don’t like Mr. Rodricks. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but he know we don’t like him.”

“Did you see Mr. Smith fill his bag?”

“No. I saw that he had a bag. It was flat when he came in. It looked full when he left.”

“Did you see him put it in his car?”

“No. I didn’t watch he when he left.”

“So, you never saw him take anything?”

“Not on December 12th. But he’s been taking things since he started.”

“So, he has a history of theft. Thank you Mr. Kennedy. No more questions.”

“No, wait. I object.”

“Mr. Smith. The prosecution has already let this witness go. You are free to cross examine.”

“Fine. I’ll do that.”

“Proceed.”

“Mr. Kennedy. Do you swear”

“Mr. Smith! He was already sworn in.”

“Why you tell them I was stealing. I ain’t do nothing. Prove it.”

“I have video.”

“You ain’t supposed to be recording nothing. Ha! You can’t use it. That’s invasion of privates.”

“It’s the stores security footage.”

“Oh! Well, this case ain’t bout that. Prove I took something of December 12th.”

“You tried to sell me the newest Galaxy phone before its release day. Except it was an off brand designed to almost look like the real thing.”

“No, it wasn’t. That was real. I mean, I ain’t try to sell you nothing. No more questions.”

“Mr. Kennedy, you may step down. Ms. Roberts, please call your next witness.”

“The state calls Mike Manroe.”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“I swear.”

“For the record, please state your full name.”

“Michael Manson Manroe.”

“Mr. Manroe, are you employed at Rodricks Electronics?”

“Yes. Yes I am.”

“Were you working on December 12th?”

“Yes I was.”

“Did you see Mr. Smith that day?”

“Yes I did.”

“What was he doing?”

“He was in the warehouse filling a bag with various small electronics like phones and tablets.”

“Where were you at that time?”

“I was in the warehouse, collecting merchandise to display in the store.”

“Did he see you?”

“If he did, he didn’t acknowledge me.”

“So, he didn’t speak at all?”

“Nope, not a word.”

“Did you see him place the bag in his car?”

“Yes I did.”

“Are you able to back up what you said with proof?”

“I object. I don’t have no idea what she just said.”

“I’ll rephrase it. Can you prove it?”

“Yes. The security cameras caught everything.”

“I have no further questions.”

“Mr. Smith, your witness.”

“Mike, I mean, Mr. Manroe, where were you at in the Warehouse?”

“I was working near the exit door. You never even looked in that direction.”

“The exit door. I ain’t never think of it.”

“What was that? You kind of mumbled there.”

“I ain’t say nothing. No more questions.”

“Mr. Manroe, you may step down. Ms. Roberts, call your next witnesses.”

“The state calls Greg Greenwood.”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“I swear.”

“For the record, please state your full name.”

“Gregory Byron Greenwood”

“Mr. Greenwood, where were you on December 12th while Mr. Smith was in the store.”

“I object. Allegedly in the store.”

“I’m shocked myself that I’m saying this, but, sustained.”

“OK. Where were you on December 12th while the events of the day were transpiring?”

“I was in the office watching the video with Mr. Rodrick.”

“I object. You said you had to pee.”

“Overruled. Please, continue.”

“Did you tell Mr. Smith that you were going to the bathroom?”

“Yes. I did.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to help him rob the store.”

“What do you mean?”

“He asked me the day before to help him. He said that he’d give me half the money he would make. When he wasn’t looking, I told Mr. Rodrick right away.”

“What did Mr. Rodrick say?”

“He told me not to tell anyone else about it. He said that he would catch him.”

“Did you see Mr. Smith drive away with the merchandise?”

“Not in person, but on the video cameras, I saw the whole thing.”

“Thank you so much. You have been a great help. No more questions.”

“Mr. Smith, your witness.”

“Mr. Greenwood, you lied. We can’t trust nothing you say.”

“Objection. That’s not a question.”

“Sustained.”

“Mr. Greenwood, why did you lie. We can’t trust nothing you say.”

“Objection. Allegedly lied.”

“Sustained.”

“Did you lie.”

“Objection. He’s badgering the witness.”

“Come on. No, I’m not.”

“Sustained. Mr. Smith, watch your tone. Ms. Roberts, cool it.”

“Mr. Greenwood, did you go to the bathroom.”

“Yes, I did. You can view it on the cameras.”

“Oh! No more questions.”

“Mr. Greenwood, you may step down. Ms. Roberts, call your next witnesses.”

“The state calls Donald Smith.”

“Wow! Do I get to cross examine myself?”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“I swear.”

“For the record, please state your full name.”

“Donald Duckworth Smith.”

“I’m sorry, will you say that again.”

“Donald Duckworth Smith.”

“Mr. Smith, did you steal merchandise from Rodricks Electronics?”

“I ain’t take nothing.”

“Can you watch this video and tell me what’s going on?”

“I plead the 5th.”

“Why?”

“I have the right to not talk.”

“Is there an issue with the video?”

“I ain’t saying nothing.”

“No more questions.”

“Mr. Smith, I am legally obliged to allow you to cross examine.”

“I’d love to. Mr. Smith, did you take that stuff? No! I ain’t do nothing. What about the video? It ain’t prove nothing. It’s fake. It’s all fake. They all lied. There you have it. No more questions.”

“Oh God, why do they make me do this. You may step down Mr. Smith. Ms. Roberts, please call your next witness.”

“No more witnesses, your honor. The prosecution rest.”

“Mr. Smith, you may call your first witness.”

“Ain’t none of them show up.”

“In that case, the defense rest. Ms. Roberts, you may present your closing argument.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I told you from the start, this is an open and shut case. You heard from witnesses. You saw the video. You heard from the rambling of the defendant himself. Every move he made was captured on video. From the moment he drove into the store’s parking lot to the moment he drove away. Mr. Smith was identified by multiple employees. Mr. Smith admitted knowledge only the person committing the crime would have known. The defense offered no evidence—only accusations, objections, and contradictions. The law is clear, the facts are clear, and your duty is clear. We ask that you return the only verdict supported by the evidence: guilty.”

“Mr. Smith, you may present your closing argument.”

“Your honor, all you guys on the jury, oh, y’all women on the jury too, and you other people watching, they keep talking about videos. That video was fake, I tell you. Haven’t you heard of Deep Fake Technology. They had witnesses. Paid off to lie. I told you from the start this was a setup. And I ain’t say nothing that you can hold against me. Anything you heard was just circles stances but no evidence. It don’t mean I’m guilty. Maybe nervous. Anybody would be nervous in a room like this. If you convict me, you telling the world that a man can’t even go to work on his day off without being accused of stealing thousands of dollars’ worth of electronics that he definitely ain’t take. The choice is yours. Use common sense. Do the right thing.”

“Thank you. The court is not in recess while the jury deliberate.”

“We’re ready.”

“That was quick. It wasn’t even five minutes.”

“We don’t need long. Just needed a bathroom break.”

“Has the jury reached a verdict?”

“Yes, we have.”

“Please read the verdict.”

“On the charge of grand theft, we find the defendant—”

“Not guilty?”

“—guilty.”

“I object.”

“You can’t object the juries verdict, Mr. Smith.”

“But, I don’t like it.”

“Verdict is entered. Court is adjourned.”

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“This whole system rigged.”

“Mr. Smith, you may speak with your lawyer.”

“I told you. I am my lawyer.”

“Yes. And that appears to be the problem. Bailiff, please take Mr. Smith into custody.”