Can I come in?
Of course, J.J . Whenever you need to.
I’m afraid Amy and I need to file an HR complaint. It’s regarding our current temp.
Temp?
Yes. While we appreciate that the company requires someone to help with daily upkeep, it is our understanding you may be looking to extend his contract. Indefinitely.
The company? Oh, God, not this again. And, are you talking about George? Is he the temp?
Yes. I thought that was obvious.
He’s my boy…man…friend. He’s not a temp.
True, he has lasted longer than the other temps. And there have been many. Do you have a discount at the agency?
Watch it.
Back to the matter at hand. While I’m sure the temp provides services that Amy and I cannot…
Oh, don’t say services. You’re only five.
Like painting, lawnwork, and gutter cleaning, we question whether he’s a good fit long-term.
In the end, that has to be my decision.
As CEO, I would hope you’d take us into consideration.
As your MOTHER, of course I would. Always. Look, where are you getting all of this?
We’ve been consulting our attorney.
Oh, I'm not going to like this. Who?
You’re ex-husband.
He’s your father, too. I’m not the only one that has to claim him. And he’s not an attorney. Couldn’t even pass the LSATS. Twice.
He’s the closest thing we could afford.
And how are you paying him? Because I may have to cut your allowance.
Love and affection. Counterfeit, of course, but he doesn’t seem to know the difference.
He never did.
Look, George is a lovely man and a good temp, if easily replaceable, but hiring him full-time may require extreme actions on our part.
Oh, such as?
We could strike.
You’re FIVE! And you don’t have a collective bargaining agreement.
If we can’t negotiate in good faith, we could initiate a hunger strike.
You only eat PB&J and orange juice anyway. God forbid I give you a piece of broccoli.
Academically, all those pluses on our report card could easily turn to minuses.
Only if you’re ready to give up ice cream for the rest of your life.
We could withhold our love and affection. The real stuff.
Maybe I’ll just have to get what I need from George.
We both know he’s not capable.
Damn. You’re right. But I need time to find another temp. My current agency is running low on replacements. Although, Thursday is dollar beer night.
Of course, but please don’t take too long. It wouldn’t be fair to George. He might think he’s one of the family.
__________________
A/N: This is a follow-up to my story below:
About the Creator
Sean A.
A happy guy that tends to write a little cynically. Just my way of dealing with the world outside my joyous little bubble.
Let's Don't Do This
"I just can't do this anymore..." "Do what?" What can't you do? Put gas in your own car? I swear to God you make me take care of everything, don't you? You know I'm on my way to work right now but that never stops you from bothering me, does it?"
By Shirley Belk6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (9)
This is so hilarious!
Ahhh women will insist on breeding with mediocre men, and then swapping for different mediocre men.... It all seems a bit pointless really 😂
Smart mom! Although the threat of withholding ice cream doesn't seem like fair play. I love this. 😁
The dialogue is so straight-faced and tongue-in-cheek. Well done, Sean. Brilliant tone!
This is hilarious! The dialogue is so sharp and natural. I love the power dynamic between the kids acting as corporate executives and their mom trying to keep up. The deadpan delivery ("Counterfeit, of course, but he doesn't seem to know the difference") is comedy gold.
Hahahahhahahaha this was hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahahaha! Oh, I remember this well. Nice continuation!
😄
This is clever, especially given George's inability to tell the difference between counterfeit and genuine affection, poor twit.