How to Not Become the Woman Everyone Warns the New Hires About

I wrote this manual because I have seen this behavior too many times to pretend it is rare.

In many production jobs, toxic behavior is treated as normal, especially when it comes from older Hispanic women who have been there longer. They think they run the place. They mock new hires when they mess up. They give dirty looks instead of help. They laugh, whisper, and call it experience.

I have watched new girls shrink. I have watched them cry in bathrooms. I have watched them leave without finishing their shift because someone decided humiliation was part of training.

This manual exists because that behavior keeps repeating itself, passed off as personality or culture or toughness. It exists to document it plainly and to stop pretending it is harmless.

These instructions are not about being polite. They are about choosing not to become the reason someone decides they cannot stay.

This manual will help you avoid becoming the woman whose name is whispered before breaks, the one new hires are warned about, the one who smiles only after someone else messes up.

Step 1: Identify the Behavior

The woman you must not become often appears harmless. She brings food to share. She calls everyone mija. She knows the job better than anyone else. She also knows who is slow, who is new, and who made a mistake last week. She laughs when someone messes up, not because it is funny, but because it is not her. If you say things like “I told you already,” “That is how it is here,” or “I am just being honest,” stop. This guide is for you.

Step 2: Understand Where It Came From

No one becomes cruel on purpose. You learned this behavior by watching others survive. Women who were ignored unless they were loud. Women who were disrespected unless they were feared. You were taught that embarrassment builds character, that mistakes should be public, and that younger women must be humbled. Understanding this does not excuse it. It explains it. You are still responsible for what you pass on.

Step 3: Stop Treating Mistakes as Entertainment

When someone messes up, notice your body. Do you lean in. Do you smile before you speak. Do you save the story for later. This is where power sneaks in. Mistakes are not entertainment. They are not proof that you matter more. Correct privately. Speak plainly. Do not gather an audience. If your joy increases when someone else feels small, ask yourself when the job stopped rewarding you for your actual work.

Step 4: Retire the Phrase “That’s How I Learned”

Yes, you learned the hard way. Yes, no one helped you. That does not make it tradition. That makes it damage. Suffering is not a rite of passage. It is not a teaching method. When you say “That’s how I learned,” what you often mean is no one protected me, so I will not protect you. End it anyway.

Step 5: Mind the Break Room

The break room is where reputations are born and buried. If the conversation begins with “Did you see how she,” or “I am not trying to be mean, but,” leave it unfinished. Silence is not cowardice. Silence is a skill. Eventually, they will stop inviting you into these conversations. This is not exile. This is freedom.

Step 6: Recognize the Younger Woman as Yourself

She reminds you of who you were before the job taught you otherwise. That is why she irritates you. She asks questions you were punished for asking. She makes mistakes you were never allowed to make. She still believes effort will be noticed. Do not be the one who teaches her otherwise.

Step 7: Stop Confusing Fear With Respect

If people go quiet when you enter a room, that is not authority. If no one corrects you, that is not leadership. It is caution. You are not powerful because you can humiliate. You are powerful when you do not need to.

Step 8: Accept That You Are Tired Without Taking It Out on Others

You are tired. You are underpaid. Your body hurts. But bitterness is not wisdom. It is not earned. You are allowed to be exhausted without becoming cruel.

Final Note

Long after you leave, people will still talk about you. They will not talk about how fast you worked. They will talk about whether you were kind or cruel. Choose which one you want to be known for.