How to Get Ahead in Business

There were many things about Thursday mornings that she did not like, but what bothered Laura the most about them was that they were not Friday afternoons. She knew how to handle those moments when the sunlight was still in the air and there was a good chance that she could slip away unnoticed by her nosy employers and sympathetic colleagues. But this was not a Friday. It was a Thursday, and she had to sit down and wait in a conference room as one of her many bosses explained what would be taking place in the next few weeks.

“Laura, it’s good to see you.” Mr. Clairmont stepped into the room, ignoring her smile, and walked over to the whiteboard. The marker was in his hands before he looked up.

“Good morning.”

“Yes. Now, have you been told anything about what is happening over the next few weeks?”

She always suspected that Mr. Clairmont – their Daniel, as he was called by staff – to be on the autism scale, or at least too lazy to learn the basics of social interaction.

“I was told that there would be more documents heading to our offices and warehouses.”

He drew a flowchart pattern on the board. It was a very simple design with “Entry” and “Exit” written in boxes above and below a circle that he did not fill in.

“Yes. And what we think will happen is we will need more people to process the materials as they enter our warehouses. And we think you will be best for it.”

Mr. Clairmont, a bachelor who was still in good shape for a man who could not tell you the last time he had a date or ate a salad, did not notice the fatigue in her response.

“Thanks.”

“Yes. So this is how it will work…and, I think that there is something else that I should mention.”

At that moment, she had not noticed the laptop on the chair next to Mr. Clairmont. He already had it on and the projector was also connected as he put an image on the screen.

“I…trust you, Ms. Stevens.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Daniel. You can say that, my name. Daniel.”

Again, she thought of the autism scale.

“Okay, I will.” She was distracted by the humming of the projector and the light pouring over Daniel. “What is it that you want to show me?”

“Something that will be arriving at the office some time quite soon. Wish I could give you an exact date, but all I know is that it will be sent here, not the warehouse.”

The image on the whiteboard was centred perfectly with the flowchart’s central box.

“It is a package.”

“Well, yes, I can see that…Daniel.”

“A very special package.”

She looked at the image and wondered if she had missed something. The package was in brown paper; it was a perfect cube; there was brown twine tied around it like a present. Nothing seemed to be special about it.

“Look, if you want me to do something with it…”

“NO! Nothing special!”

No one heard the shouting in that part of the office. She had flinched and felt attacked.

“I’m sorry. I should not have done that. No, you don’t have to do anything special, except be ready for it.”

She did not speak for a moment.

“Y’know how all of the other packages we receive are labelled through UPS, Purolator, Amazon and the rest?”

“Um, of course.”

“Well, this one is going to look exactly like this.” He pointed quickly at the image. “It won’t have any labels or any details about the sender’s address.”

“Okay.” She did have something on her mind, but was afraid to ask. “Daniel, is this a package for you?”

“Oh, no! Not me. For the office. But it is much better if we treat this one with a bit of discretion.”

“I see…”

“A bit of…anonymity.”

“Right. And you don’t know when it is going to arrive.”

“Not specifics.”

Another question that bothered her was dangling in her thoughts. “Daniel, what is in the package?”

She heard it before she could feel it. There was noise coming from the air-conditioning unit, a grinding sound that could only have been caused by something deliberately blocking or rubbing against an internal fan. The temperature seemed to go up in that windowless room.

“I am not at liberty to say.”

“You don’t know…”

“I cannot say.” Daniel stared down at her with hard beetle-like eyes. Laura wondered if it would be appropriate at this point to request a break (the bathroom was just down the hall, next to the emergency exit).

“Look, Daniel. Mr. Clairmont. If you are embarrassed by whatever is inside that,” she pointed at the marker and light portrait on the whiteboard, “I understand. But I think that to have this whole cloak-and-dagger routine with me on a Thursday is going too far.”

Mr. Clairmont did not say a word.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s in it.”

The noise inside the system stopped.

“Great. We can have fresh air again.”

At least he knew how to laugh.

“Yes, well, thank you. I am not holding anything back from you, but I think that discretion is the best for now.”

“Discretion… Now what is..?”

He turned off the projector and she heard the hum die down as the air flow grew cooler.

“Thank you for your time, Ms…Laura.”

Not a formal end to it, but there was nothing about this meeting that seemed like it would be officially recorded. She stood up and watched Mr. Clairmont take extra time closing his laptop and wrapping up several cables and cords.

She really did need that bathroom break.

*

A Friday without a sense of relief is a terrible thing. Laura had spoken to Aidy, Allen and Tyra about the meeting with their Daniel and was surprised by their lack of surprise.

“He’s done this before, y’know.” Allen was finishing his third cup of coffee that day and sat on the edge of the small kitchenette table as he spoke. “I had to accept some sort of package on a Friday with no name, no labels, and no information on it. I thought that it was just a test and that this was something the company did every once in a while. But still…”

“And it happened to us, too.” Aidy spoke and looked at Tyra for a moment, as if she wanted or needed her permission to continue talking. “I freaked out when I got to my desk and saw that it was already there.”

“Yeah, me too.” Tyra was not the biggest talker in the office, so Laura listened. “They said we would have to wait for maybe another week and it was there the next day. Really weird.”

Laura looked at her closest colleagues in the office and tried to read their faces.

“Why didn’t any of you tell me about this?”

“No point, really.” Allen put his cup down, a mug with “I speak Sarcasm and English” written in white letters on a black square, and looked down. “Just seemed like it was something the company did.”

“Right.” Both Tyra and Aidy jumped in.

“Right. So, they did not tell you what was in it, they did not give you the correct date, and they told you to do nothing with it. Good to know.”

They seemed contrite. Laura had only one other thing to ask.

“Did any of you open it?”

Again, the sound in the vent was there. It was like metal hitting metal the wrong way, or a voice trying to be heard.

“You don’t open it.”

Okay, Allen.

“It’s not for you.”

Okay, Aidy. Not expecting that much weirdness from you.

“It has no name on it.”

At least Tyra made some sense.

“Why is it not…?”

“Just expect it to show up when you don’t expect anything to show up.”

I will, and I won’t, she thought.

“Right, well…I gotta get back.”

No one spoke as she left the room. The noise from the vent was muted but still clear as she walked to her desk.

*

It surprised her that she did not try to leave early. Some packages did arrive at the office, but nothing touched her desk. Mr. Clairmont was out for the day and the gruesome lunch trio was busy. All of the shipments to the warehouse were on time and she had very little to do.

Very little to do…

And she was waiting for a package.

Laura looked up at the AC vent and closed her eyes.

Okay, I get it. I should have seen this from a mile away.

I am being pranked.

Laura smiled about this. She was the one who left early; the one who got so much work done on time that the others must resent her work. Maybe Mr. Clairmont was not so deep into the scale as she thought.

Clever, clever…

Even the sound from the AC must have played a part. Get the girl who does all her work on time to look for gremlins in the grill.

Again, very smart.

Laura looked over at the clock and decided that she did want to stay until five.

Did anyone notice that she waited for it? It did not matter. She was on the bus by a quarter after the hour and walking down her side of the street a half hour after leaving work.

So stupid…wait for a package that may or may not show up, like I'm Brad Pitt waiting to find out about Gwyneth Paltrow's head (good film, she thought).

She was smiling and laughing in the sunlight as the traffic died down in front of her home. Laura wondered what to do that weekend.

But then she noticed it.

She did not finish her thought before reaching her front step. But to be fair, it was surprising to see a package on her front porch on a Friday afternoon.

There was no name or address on it.

Laura stared at it for a moment. There were no other letters or junk mail in the box.

She had a long weekend ahead.

*

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