Hot Tub Time Machine Chronicles Chapter 5

The following tale of temporal travel takes place in a universe inspired by the 2010 smash megahit film Hot Tub Time Machine. It is an original story, and does not feature any of the same characters as the film. This is... Life of the Party - Chapter 5.

INT. WALLACE RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - NEW YEAR'S EVE - 10 YEARS AGO

Kristie motions toward the other side of the living room. There, standing 6 feet 2 inches tall, is SHANE WALKER. He is chugging a beer, while simultaneously flexing his bicep for two FLITRY TEENAGE GIRLS standing near him.

Shane is a high school football star, and has a part-time job feeding the animals at the zoo. His ambition is to have a million monkeys at a million typewriters produce the next War and Peace, but he isn’t yet sure how to acquire that many bananas.

Alex sputters, "Boyfriend? But back at the store, you--"

Shane saunters over and slaps Kristie on the butt. He motions to Alex, and says, "Who's this loser?"

Shane puts his arm around Kristie.

Kristie replies, "Shane, this is Alex Callen. He's--"

Shane scoffs, "Yeah, Alex listen! Grab me another beer, would you?”

Alex defiantly responds, "Actually, we were just talking."

Shane grabs Alex by the shirt, and tries to intimidate, "Actually, I think I said 'Go get me another beer!'"

Shane tosses Alex into the kitchen. Alex stumbles backward into the counter. He almost knocks a PUNCH BOWL off its perch. Alex manages to catch the bowl before it falls, and steadies it back on the counter. He lets out a sigh of relief.

Enter BOY and GIRL. They run through the kitchen, chasing each other in some sort of juvenile game of catch. Boy navigates around Alex, but Girl slams right into the bowl, spilling it everywhere. Alex's white shirt is covered in red fruit punch.

Girl stifles a laugh, "Oh jeez, sorry."

Boy runs ahead, and calls back, "Come on! Let's go!"

Girl quickly glances toward Boy, then gives Alex a smile and shrug. Girl takes off.

Alex pulls at his shirt, and utters, "Perfect."

Alex walks to the kitchen sink, and grabs a cloth. He tries in vain to wipe the stain off his shirt.

Enter Seth, holding two dirty magazines. He says to Alex, "Hey Darren, which one of these two chicks would you rather sleep with?"

Seth lets the centerfolds fall open, and motions to each, "This one, or this one?"

Alex tries to resist, "Listen, my name is--"

Seth argues, "Just answer the question!"

Alex barks back, "I will not answer your silly question! My name is not Darren Temple."

Seth laughs, "Oh man, Darren sorry. Listen, sorry! I didn't realize you were gay. I mean that's cool, I guess. I'll just bring these somewhere else."

Seth lowers his head, and skulks out of the room.

Alex calls after him, "Hang on one minute! I am not gay!"

Seth is already gone. Alex huffs angrily. He goes back to the sink, and wets the cloth a little. He wipes his shirt again. No effect. He gives up the futility. He throws the cloth back into the sink, and exits the kitchen.

UPSTAIRS - LATER

We see a male weaving through the 2nd floor corridors. His name is REMBRANT WALLACE, but to his friends it's just Remmie. He is walking with his younger brother Cale, who we met earlier on the rooftop across the street. Of course, now he is 10 years younger. The Party takes place at their house.

Remmie is briefly halted by TWO EXTRAS KISSING. Their passionate make-out session is interrupted by Remmie, "My favorite happy couple. You guys having a good time, yeah? How about you take the room on the left?"

Remmie waves his arm through the open door and ushers the couple into the spare bedroom. He shuts the door, and we follow him downstairs to the couch in the foyer.

He speaks to Seth and Chad, "Hey you guys been watching the door, like I asked?"

Seth replies, "Yeah Remmie, we haven't moved since."

Chad adds, "Just like you told us. No one in or out, without us knowing."

Remmie asks, "So, did an Alex Callen show up?"

Seth says, "No."

Chad adds, "No way man, absolutely not."

Remmie claps them on the shoulders and says, "Alright, thanks."

Remmie exits the front door.

Seth turns to Chad, and says, "So anyway he practically tries to have raw intercourse with me, right there in the kitchen."

Chad looks puzzled, and asks, "Who did?"

Seth says, "Darren Temple, man. I was like, 'Hey pal, I think maybe you got the wrong idea. I mean, I know I'm irresistible.'"

Chad laughs, "Temple is a flaming homosexual. I never would have guessed."

Seth says, "So anyway, did you see the new Batman movie?"

UPSTAIRS RUMPUS ROOM - LATER

Alex sits on a leather couch, holding a red plastic Solo cup filled with beer from the keg. He talks aloud, "So, she pretends like she wants to see me. Invites me out to this big house in the middle of nowhere. I ditched my best friend. And then, don't even get me started on how much this shirt cost."

We PAN OVER to see Alex is talking to a CAT.

Alex says, "Thanks, you're a good listener, but I have to go find some real people."

Alex pets the cat.