Her Deepest Secret

VANCE

It was half-past ten when he saw her, this gorgeous woman with a stark air of mystery. Foreign in every way, it almost seemed strange to see her in the city. Not the soft strange like the pistachio and lavender scented candle you’re gifted on your birthday, but the hard kind of strange that made every eye divert in its direction and linger. She wore an oversized hoodie and a ‘black lives matter’ mask to hide her face, but he could still see her freckled cheeks and chuck hazel eyes from his vantage point. The brown heels of her black boots sent echoes across the pavement. The sound waves caught his attention, but her allure drew him in. He continued to watch her as he stood outside smoking a cigarette near the Waffle House on Canal Street. His eyes never wavered as she darted across traffic causing a Black Mazda to slam on their brakes and honk their horn in a long rhythmic screech highlighting their annoyance. The mystery woman didn’t look backward, her attention focused on the Broad Streetcar coming in the near distance. He took a long drag on the end of his cigarette and wondered what a woman like that would be doing out this late in an unfamiliar city alone. So, he decided to follow her.

It wasn’t every day Vance used his power of invisibility for personal reasons, but this woman deserved a closer view. She deserved to get home safe, he thought to himself. Trying his hardest to justify the obsessive behavior he was displaying, but he couldn’t help it. She was different, and he wanted to know more. He needed to know more. A few minutes later the streetcar arrived and he watched the mysterious woman intently as she paid the $1.25 fee. He allowed three other patrons to get on before him. The typical characters one would see in the streets of New Orleans: a young guy blasting music on his JBL speaker reeking of marijuana and no discipline, the bartender on her way to the after-dark shift trying to do the final touches of her makeup, and the young man just getting off work from the Burger King right across the street. The young man in uniform sat across from the young bartender, he began to form his lips to speak to her. She said to him, “do not talk to me, you can’t afford me on that salary”. Not once looking away from her mini compact mirror as she glued on her final lash extension. The mystery woman sat three seats behind the young bartender. Vance couldn’t help but notice her demure demeanor and eyes which were intently focused on a small envelope in her hand.

VANESSA

She tried her best to steady her hands and hide the gauze wrap on her wrist, as she pulled the small envelope out of her jeans pocket. The phrase, “come alone”, rang fresh in her mind. Just two hours prior her handler sent her an email stating to meet him at the Waffle House on Canal St. and to be sure no one notices you. Which was strange to Vanessa, considering the fact they always met at the CC’s coffee shop on Esplanade Ave. for their meet-ups. The email was so cryptic Vanessa was surprised there weren’t coordinates involved, but she followed his lead and met him. As she entered the diner, Vanessa sat at the booth furthest from the windows, and closest to the bathroom. They were understaffed, but the cook still found the time to smile at her upon entry and say “we’ll be right with you”. A simple, but underrated sentiment in the lost art of hospitality. Six or seven minutes later the server walks over to Vanessa. Her eyes are low, red, and hazy with gleams of light still present. Her name tag was as crooked as the Spotify logo, and Vanessa couldn’t unsee it. Before the young waitress could speak, Vanessa interrupted her and asked for a small coffee in a to-go cup with heavy cream. Not once did she look up or make eye contact. The young waitress returned with her order and walked away. At that moment her handler walked out of the men’s bathroom and sat across from Vanessa. He looked different, Vanessa thought. More wrinkles in his forehead than normal, so she asks him “what the hell is going on Eric?”

He pulls a small envelope out of his pocket and hands it to her.

“Is this what I think it is?” Vanessa asks. Her handler nods.

“Why now?” She looks down carefully at the small blue envelope.

Her handler doesn’t respond at first, but then he looks up at Vanessa sternly and says, “Do you remember what I said to you on your third day of training?”

Vanessa replies, “Of course, you told me the power lies in being the balance between the earth and sky, heaven and hell, and then all of the truths will be revealed to you”. She never really understood what he meant by that, but the takeaway for Vanessa was always: balance is key.

“Wait a minute..”, Vanessa looks up enthusiastically with a big broad smile and says to her handler, “Thank you for always believing in me.” He nods his head with humility, as he puts on his beige bucket hat and Warby Parker shades. Before walking away he looks back at Vanessa and says two words, “come alone”. She nods with understanding, as her gaze turns away from her sensei she looks over at her coffee realizing it's been sitting there untouched the whole time. Which was fine because warm coffee was her favorite. Vanessa sat there a few minutes longer as the waves of joy and fear washed over her. Vanessa worked so hard for this opportunity. She sacrificed two years of her life for this opportunity, relationships suffering the most. What guy would be okay with his woman leaving all hours of the night? A woman that couldn’t tell him where she was going nor when she would be back? There was none of which she could think of as she looked down at her invitation. She decided it would be better to open it at home where there was less traffic. Vanessa checked her watch and saw the Broad St. streetcar was en route. So she stood up and pulled four dollars out of her back pocket, and left it on the table for the server. Her mind focused on the possibilities of the message inside of her blue envelope. Of who she would see at the ceremony. Of who she could learn from. Of the freedom she’s always desired.

VANCE

She keeps looking at that thing as if it's made of gold or something, Vance thought. By this time Vance and Vanessa were the only occupants of the streetcar, and there were only a couple of stops left before the line ended. He looks out of the bus window to see an older couple sitting on the patio of their two story home smoking cigarettes talking excitedly. At that moment the streetcar makes a stop and in his peripheral vision sees Vanessa getting off in a hurry and walking towards Chartres Street. He tries to rush off the street car, but a family that were visiting from out of town were all coming into the door. Normally the rear exit would be open, but there was some construction tape covering it. The driver, oblivious to Vance, drives to the next stop as he blends in with the large family of people as they pay for their fees. He runs to the back of the streetcar to try to catch a glance of where his woman is going, but the streets leave no trace of her.

VANESSA

Her house looked abandoned at first glance; the brick lay had to be done over 100 years ago. It was two stories, but the doors and windows at the top and bottom were boarded completely. There was no visible point of entry. Vaness walked over to the left side of the house to reveal a gaping hole about one meter down showing a mint green paint job hiding behind it. Vanessa goes through that hole and walks down a self made brick staircase towards her front door. The screen door had a small hole in it for when she locks herself out while taking out the trash, sometimes the lock gauge jams, and she has to turn the knob from the inside. Her front door has stained glass fixtures with indigo and blue hues that reflect off of a lamp that was left on inside. As she opened her front door she greeted the stench of her cat’s litter box.

VANCE

“Where are you..” Vance whispers under his breath, as he finally makes it to the streetcar stop on Chartres St. He scans the area to look for any clues that may tell of his mystery woman. He walks down the block, but the homes either look newly renovated or deserted.

“Fuck” shouts Vance, as the alarm on his watch goes off. There’s not enough time for his search to continue. He reluctantly walks back towards Chartres Street with his eyes intently watching the hands of his watch tick. Later.

VANESSA

“Your personality manifests your reality”

‘Your personality manifests your reality”

“Your personality manifests your reality”

Vanessa repeats to herself while staring in the mirror dressed in her navy blue and gold trimmed Karate-gi tied at her waist is a double knotted black belt. By this time the sun is down and the light blue ray from the moon is shining on her face. Displaying a face full of bewilderment and humble contentment. It’s too late to catch the streetcar and the location on the invitation is unfamiliar, so she calls a Lyft driver, a woman named Morgan driving a silver Subaru. Her phone buzzes notifying her that Morgan is three minutes away. “Time to claim your destiny” she tells herself before leaving out of the door. When Vanessa gets into the car Morgan smiles and offers water and peppermints, which is a sweet gesture, but she declines and asks her if this can be a music-less ride.

“Sure” Morgan turns off the Lucky Daye song that was playing on the radio.

“I hope that doesn’t bother you, I just really need a clear head for where i'm going” Vanessa tells Morgan who looks unphased by the request.

“You’re fine honey, really, but I’ve been told that I'm a great listener if you need to get these thoughts out of your head” Morgan says as they stop at a redlight.

V -“Have you ever felt like you worked your way up to a moment, and still not feel ready?”

M - “Yes, whenever I feel that way I try to remember the reason I started on the path”

V - “And what if that thought process still leaves fear present?”

M - “Then you make a choice between fear and love, which wolf do you wanna feed?”

V - “I think feeding both is healthy.”

M - “This is true, but for this decision would feeding fear ultimately end in regret or relief?”

V - “That’s a good point.” The regret may haunt me, I’ve sacrificed so many years, days, nights, and relationships for this moment to not see this through, she thought to herself.

M - “You always know the answer whenever you get out of your own head. Our minds lie to us too often”

V - “I’ve been so busy pursuing this, this is the first time that I’ve been able to think.”

M -”When you’re led by the divine, in each of those moments you are made free. Remember that. We’re here”

Vanessa gets out of the car and leaves a five dollar tip, before heading towards the building in front of her.