Hell's Doorstep
A Story Every Day in 2024 Oct 7th 281/366
She's asked me the question that I've dreaded. But we swore that day we'd never tell and I'm not starting now. The Scotch is peeping out of the bag and it takes all my nerve not to grab it. Instead, I suppress the urge to confess, to drink, to scream, as I've trained myself and I avert my eyes from hers, stare at my coffee and shake my head.
There's a pause and I wonder if she can see into my soul and the darkness that smoulders there but then she sighs and I am once more dodging that bullet.
That day, that pact, the good intentions that made it? I could never have anticipated its heaviness and its constant pressure. Everything's easier when you're a kid. It's with the knowledge of an adult that Reality truly lifts its veil and reveals its hideous face.
He killed himself, she tells me. I guessed. We'd all been to Hell's doorstep. Mark crossed the threshold and stayed there. The only one out of us to do it. So far.
She tells me he'd changed: appearance, name, country, like he was trying to shrug off this life. He was running, always running. She's crying: "He begged me to go to him" but she didn't - a massive regret to fill a lifetime.
"When I wouldn't leave his dad, he cut me off." She paused. "I should've just gone." She wipes her eyes. "He lost respect in me and I lost him."
She thinks he was escaping his dad but I know better.
"Mark was 'found',"she said. Didn't expand.
She doesn't live round here anymore, hasn't for years. Too many memories. Visiting her mum today, getting her a few things.
The conversation peters out. It's time to leave. She hugs me, holds onto me more tightly and longer than feels comfortable but I let her.
I walk home, the whisky's siren call filling my head. I take out the bottle, place it on the table before me, unopened.
Mark. Dead. Laney. Dead.
I should let Matt know. I sit, remembering.
The whisky remains unopened but I let my emotions flood out and I sob with the loss of it all.
***
366 words
So, the secret remains with Luke. How will Matt react to the news?
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Comments (15)
The title is telling me a lot is going to happen, but what… Oh my gosh I can’t look but I must: 👀 You described his mental state so well. For someone who is hiding a secret for so long… no wonder the silence feels like an eye. Mark can’t be… I won’t… I can’t accept this!! 😩 👏🏽♥️👌🏽
I can feel her anguish, holding on a little too long to her lost son's childhood friend. If only that would bring him back.
oh crap! another gut punch!
I knew Mark was a tragic character but man this was rough
You’re absolutely nailing this series. I feel like the ending is going to be heartbreaking 😕
Yayyyyy, I called it! He did commit suicide!
This story has such intriguing and multiplying depths. Well done. This one is quite sad.
I love the layering of this story and how it just slowly seems to be unravelling!! Great work Rachel!!
This is the stuff with the potential for a great novel, Rachel. Brings back memories of reading A Separate Peace by John Knowles in high school.
I just can’t with you Rachel! So much tension and suspense!
I've not been on Vocal much the past couple of weeks, and am just now getting all the way caught up on this saga; it continues to be so compelling, tragic, and mysterious at every turn! The characters have a real life to them, and I am so excited to continue this story. Quite an achievement here, Rachel!! :)
Dear Rd - I pray that it will be 'Easier' for our Kids someday. Jb-bud
I knew you would kill me off...I mean him. I'm really enjoying the way you present your characters emotions and situations.
I thought that was what happened, but hoped I was wrong. So sad.
Haha. You must have heard me. Reading now.