Hank The Smart Talking Hamster

I got Hank from a pet store when I was just a wee lad. He was a chubby lil’ feller with a pink nose and whiskers that never stopped a’twitchin’. I liked feedin’ him peanuts and watchin’ him push the whole shells in his cheeks. He’d look expectantly at me for another, though I knew he couldn’t possibly fit any more. Didn’t stop him from tryin!

Hank and me, we got along great. I carried him around in my shirt pocket wherever I went. Everybody loved Hank and he always got lots of attention. I took him to the general store where Mr. Henry had treats a’waitin’ for him. I took him to the ball games and everyone fed him peanuts, which he stored up in my shirt pocket. Yep, Hank and me did everythin’ together!

That is, ‘til I had to go to school. Old Mr. Ivories, the principal, wouldn’t let Hank come to school. I hated havin’ to leave him home all day in his lil’ cage. I fed him extra treats in the mornin’, but he just looked at me longingly with his lil’ hands on the cage door. I felt so bad for him, I cried. I didn’t want to go to school if Hank couldn’t go with me. School wasn’t much fun anyway. So, I made a plan. “Don’t you worry Hank, you and me, we’s gonna run away!” That very night, I would sneak out of the house.

After school, I carefully packed my bag and hid it under my bed. Once Ma and Pa done tucked me in, I grabbed Hank from his cage and quietly climbed out the win’der. We stealed off into the woods to the old huntin’ cabin. T’wasn’t huntin’ season, so no’un’uld be there now. I fig’ured me an Hank’d be safe there awhile.

I laid a bedroll on the cot and lit the lamp. Then I made a lil’ bed for Hank next to the lamp so he’d be warm. I pulled him from my pocket and set him in his bed. “Well Hank, here we are.” Hank twitched his nose and looked around, then he looked at me with questions in his eyes. “Why?”

I stared at him wonderin’ if I’d done lost my mind. “What’d you say?” I asked stupidly.

“Why,” squeaked Hank again, “Why we here?”

“A’cuz you don’t like bein’ in that cage all day and they won’t let you come to school wit’ me.”

Hank tilted his head to one side, then the other. “Why?”

“I dunno Hank, guess they think hamsters aren’t smart ‘nuf for school.”

Hank thought a moment. “I smart.”

“Well, I guess’un you are, yer talkin’!”

“Is that enough? I go to school?”

“I dunno, they prob’ly be wantin’ you to know yer letters and numbers. Do you know letters and numbers?”

“ABC, 123?” Hank squeaked out.

“Yeah Hank! That’s it!”

Hanked squeaked his excitement and his whiskers twitched even faster. “I go to school!”

“Tamar’er I’ll take you to see old Mr. Ivories an’ we’ll show him how smart you are. Then He’ll have to let you go to school!”

“We’d better get some sleep now Hank.” We curled up and went to bed.

Next mornin’ we got up early and ran home before breakfast. I told Ma and Pa ‘bout how smart Hank was and how I was takin’ him to see Mr. Ivories. Ma and Pa just smiled at me and said to eat my breakfast. I kept Hank in my pocket and fed him some of my biscuit. He needed his strength too! We had a big day ahead of us.

When we got to school, we went straight to Mr. Ivories’ office. I took Hank out of my pocket and plopped him on Mr. Ivories' desk. “Hank’s real smart,” I told him, “he belongs in school.” Mr. Ivories looked at Hank, then he looked at me and raised one eyebrow. “Show him Hank!” I said.

Hank looked at Mr. Ivories and twitched his whiskers. He stood up tall on his back legs. Then he started to squeak out, “A-B-C-”. Poor Mr. Ivories turned white as a ghost. He fell down heavily in his chair and his eyes rolled toward the ceilin’. I had to run and get the secretary to revive him. Hank looked scared. “It’s okay Hank,” I assured him, “I guess you showed him how smart you are.”

Once Mr. Ivories had recovered, he asked the secretary to stay to make sure she heard Hank too. Then he asked Hank if he could say his numbers also. Hank stood up again and recited, “1-2-3-”. Mr. Ivories smiled and clapped his hands in delight. Then he looked at me. “You’re right. Hank is a smart hamster and he deserves to go to school. You can bring him if he wants to learn.” Hank stepped forward, “Oh yes, I would love to learn!” he said.

Things changed after that. Hank came to class with me and became our official school mascot. He got his own special seat at the games and mountains of peanuts. Mr. Ivories became the first school principal to have a hamster as a student. He even wrote a book about it! As for me, I got better grades because Hank helped me with my homework. Turned out he was better at schoolin’ than I was. Hank the smart talking hamster was the best friend I ever had!