Guardian of the Night

5:04 am

Read the screen of my phone.

It seems my internal alarm clock has chosen five in the morning, being that I keep waking up at this chosen hour every. single. day.

I take a deep breath and begin to stretch out my tightened limbs and roll over on to my back. I’m one of those people that can hardly ever fall back asleep once they are awake. my day has begun.

Though, I can’t say I mind the very early mornings. There is a quiet and peaceful ambiance in the 5-7 morning hours that I don’t feel at any other time of day.

Sometimes,

I feel like my spirit wakes me up early so I can have that time to meditate. To ground all my thoughts, my energy, and my intentions for the day. There’s always a lot going on in this busy mind of mine… perhaps I really need those extra hours in the morning to sort my mind out. To just…. Breathe.

I proceed to get up, move my body a bit and sit in my thinking chair and then grab my journal that is propped on the ledge of it. I then grab the pen that is tucked into the pages.

what does my soul want to write today?

what does she have to say?

I think it’s beautiful the way we can listen to ourselves deep within when we make a practice out of writing. Preferably, automatic writing. Where you let the words flow from your heart and soul to your hand- and then out on to paper. Without judgment or control, you simply let words flow, letting your soul speak to you.

what does my soul want to express today?

I sit there taking more deep breaths, surrendering my minds need to control the pen.

But all of a sudden, I hear a faint haunting but beautiful noise….

"screeeeeech screeech"

my heart is both excited and warmed by the sounds.

Could it be?

I rush to the window and tug on the strings to raise the blinds, hoping I can get a glimpse of the creature who is as alluring and majestic as the sounds it makes.

"screeeeech screeech"

I hear it again, but it’s too dark to see.

I can’t see the beauty that’s calling to me.

I gently and quietly opened my window, to hear the owl more clearly.

The inner child within, wanting to speak back, moves her lips into an O shape. Responding in the only owl noise I know how to make.

Gently, I respond:

"Hooo, hooo

"hoo, hooooo"

At first… silence.

then as a few moments pass by, multiple owls call back. my heart leaped for joy realizing there was many of them.

On this quiet, still, and vacant morning I was not so alone after all... these beautiful creatures calling to me outside my window.

We exchanged more calls, the smile on my face as wide as can be. I wonder what they are saying to me?

I remember as a child, my great great grandmother would sit me on her lap and tell me stories of a time when humans could clearly communicate with all of life, not through the many languages used today in the world, but through something she called “the ancient language of the heart.”

“you must not let your mind decide, or try to interpret the message” she’d say.

“you have to feel it, feel it with your heart. Your heart speaks the language that was made at the beginning of time, the beginning of all of creation. You must feel to listen” her words that I never forgot, because they fed the part of me that was yearning for more magic then what the world was telling me was real. I always felt there was more. There was always something calling me I couldn’t quite grasp.. but nonetheless, was always pulling my hair- whispering my name from a far, unknown void.

I closed my eyes, and began to feel…letting my heart try to interpret the messages.

They didn’t come straight away. My mind kept trying to get in the way. Always wanting to control, to be right and practical. I had to keep breathing, calming it and keeping it still, reminding it that my heart is my true source of wisdom. My mind is only meant to interpret the hearts messages, not the other way around. Just as my great grandmother taught.

I sat there, in meditation.

Breathing deeply, still listening to the owls sing.

I closed my eyes, and began to see a bright light in the dark. This light felt peaceful, warm, and welcoming. As if it were a sign of hope in the darkest of nights. I heard the owls song of beautifully haunting screeches come from this majestic orb of light.

The barn owls bright glowing eyes extended out from the orb and illuminated the entire space around me.

I felt safe.

I felt protected.

without words, I knew what this creature was telling me and demonstrating to me.

Owls can see in the dark, and navigate easily in it. They are so often misunderstood, associated with scary things, yet they are full of such magic and wisdom. They are guardians of night, moving through veils, and death and rebirth. They've come to me on this morning to remind me that I can always choose to see the light ahead, even in the darkest of times. I have been engaging too much with the chaos in the world, letting it engulf me and my spirit. The harsh dark months of winter have been making me tired, too. I’ve been feeling heavy, tired, and a bit trapped. This visit from the barn owls reminded me that the darkness is only temporary, and there is a always a light ahead. I was also filled with the solace of knowing I am not alone. The Great Spirit was clearly connecting with me through nature.

I closed my eyes for a long moment and thanked them with my heart, a few tears now dripping down the side of my cheeks.

I opened my eyes and gazed one last time out the window.

My heart nearly skipped a beat as I watched three large owls reveal themselves and fly away gracefully toward the half moon.