One can be too clean.
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
An after-hours nurse, Rin had made cleanliness his lifeโMarie Kondo would have called his dedication to sterility an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Nothing could be out of order.
Or dirty.
Not a speck of dust.
He got into bed one morning, put out after his shift.
But woke with a start. His apartment was cleanโtoo clean. He was a neat freak, but this level of cleanliness was enough to send someone as fastidious as he was over the edge.
Oddโan operating theatre too clean.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
There was NOTHING to look at.
Nothing except broken images that looked like outstretched handsโ
Gangly.
Wieldy.
Like glitching glass veins.
Pulsing.
KNOCK.
KNOCK.
KNOCK.
Startled, Rin touched a window to see a handโ
Not his.
NEVER his.
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
KNOCK.
KNOCK.
KNOCK.
The glass pulsed. To the knockโs rhythm.
The veins in the glass throbbed harder.
Brighter.
Red.
Then white.
KNOCK.
Thud. His chest answered.
The window fogged.
Scrawled letters on the frosted pane.
KNOCK.
Cracks appeared, a mangled spiderweb, across the mirror.
His own pulse skipped. It sounded just like the knock.
The fingers grew longer.
More gangly.
Pressing harder on the pane.
KNOCK.
It rockedโlike a petrified heart.
๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ๐โจ
The crack in the windows widenedโlight bled through, as if bones had split.
In the middle of the fractureโan eye.
It blinkedโand winked.
Too close.
Too knowing.
Another knockโwithin his chest.
Then a finger passed through the glass.
It pointedโat him.
Dripping static and leaving a dripping trail of red.
Rinโs ribs tightened, locking him in place.
The rhythm had bound him.
The apartment door rattled to its urgent beat.
Then, something within the mirror moved.
The lights followed the pulseโVibrating.
Too exact.
๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข
The mirrorโs surface stretchedโ-bulging, bated breath from within its depths.
The eye within the fracture multiplied, blinking.
Syncing with the knock.
The veins in the window lashedโits binds tightening.
The door creakedโthe knob turned.
A tad.
The lights flickered againโRinโs pulse quickened to the same rhythm.
Static crept into the airโhis ears buzzed.
Then, a shadow.
Seeping in from the gap below the door.
A crack within the mirror formed.
A mouth.
Gaping.
Teeth withinโsharp.
The door handle twisted fully.
๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ
The mouth moved.
Not speakingโwhispering.
The shadow under the door thickened, spreading across the floorโโ
An irremovable stain.
The door shook uncontrollably.
Thenโstopped.
Silence.
KNOCK.
From within the room.
White lights flaredโturning a garish red.
The mouth opened widerโ-the frame ripped apart.
It. Crawled. Out.
๐๐๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง
It slithered out of the doorframe, bendingโ
To him.
It approached, raking its fingers across the wall.
Creating sparks from within each scrape.
Then, the mouth snapped shut.
But the light from the glass still bled.
The shadow under the door seeped around him, circling his feet.
Locking him in place.
His face-half his, half static.
His teeth flickered.
The knocking continuedโfrom within his chest.
In time with his breath.
Pulse.
Fear.
๐๐๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง
The sparks from the wall burned the veins in the glassโfire crawling through arteries.
The shadow wound tighter around his ankles, dragging him.
Rin saw himself at work, masked, a scalpel in hand.
Wiping the operating table the surgeon was working onโ
Incessant.
Continuous.
The thingโs mouth openedโnot to breathe out, but breathe in.
Sucking his breath.
His chest collapsed with its rhythmโeach knock sucked a heartbeat.
The mirror quaked, a fractured web.
๐๐๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง
The fire veins were a virtual tarantula, bursting through the mirrorโs cracks.
The Thing drew a final breath inโ
Deep.
The glass veins snappedโ
A shower of red light.
The shadow around Rin shrilled, yanking the fissure, along with the Thing.
Rin fell back on his chair, collapsed.
Breathing.
His room, as it was.
Just cracks.
In the mirror.
And himself. Scalpel. Disinfectant.
And cloth.
In his mouth.
The knocks continued.
๐๐๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ช๐ง
Original story by Michelle Liew Tsui-Lin. AI tags are coincidental.
About the Creator
Michelle Liew Tsui-Lin
Hi, i am an English Language teacher cum freelance writer with a taste for pets, prose and poetry. When I'm not writing my heart out, I'm playing with my three dogs, Zorra, Cloudy and Snowball.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions


Comments (12)
That was a pretty cool read. Disturbing verbal imagery and dark word choice throughout felt entirely unique and very atmospheric. This story had such a poetic feel, and a powerful surreal effect.
Michelle, I absolutely love what you did with this challenge prompt. Congratulations on your win!๐ฅฐ๐
Congratulations on your win, Michelle ๐๐
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Congratulations!
Oh, wow, but this one is genius, Michelle. Superb response to the prompt at hand. Haunting in its intensity, too.
Oh shit, this was soooo freaking creeepppyyyy! You nailed this challenge!
Horrifyingly well done! Good luck with the challenge
Well-wrought! Magical surrealism? Your narratives are always unique and engaging!
I could literally hear the breathing between the lines....wow!
I can see this being a book series
This was perfectly terrifying, Michelle! Iโm glad Rin is alive, but is he still himself?